TW: Idk how to deal with 'paralysed' feelings. My friends aren't real friends.

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

It's just the noise that gets to me. And my low bp. I have been really pale lately, a sign that my bp is pretty low. It's a big sign of a possible fainting spell. But I probably need an iron tablet, whuch I have to take tomorrow. I'm ok, incase you get concerned. My low bp is natural, and I've already been to a gp about it.

@mspaceK .

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

I think I'm going to report all the bullying that's been going on. Yesterday, everyone told this kid to cut his hair. He did it, and regretted it afterwards. No clue why he did it, but I absolutely (excuse my poor French ability) FUCKING HATE all the bullying and swearing at school. It hurts to be a bystander, and I don't like being in-between all the bullshit around the place.

Again, please excuse my swearing rant. I hate swearing, but sometimes you need to let it out. I already know that swearing is allowed...

[mspaceK]

That still sounds a little scary to deal with @xXLexi_Lou122Xx . Feeling sick and tired like you're going to faint is awful. 

I hate how people are behaving like that at your school...so immature to be honest. That kid should not have done that peer pressure can be a hard thing to rebel against but it only makes things worse by giving in. Year 8 is probably the worst year for behaviour in high school - from a teachers perspective. And from personal experience it's one of the hardest years at school, particularly around fitting in and social groups. It does get better though as everyone gets older. Just gotta make it through the hard times  

[blobby]

that doesn't sound like a good situation to be in @xXLexi_Lou122Xx . It seems terribly exhausting and stressful on your part. 

As @mspaceK said, peer pressure is an awful thing and social groups at school are often a problem. It's all about how cool you can be, which I absolutely hate. The swearing from your cohort however isn't acceptable, and I completely understand where you are coming from. The onyl thing you can hope for is as you get older is that the people in your year grow more mature. It does get better. 

Is there someone you can mention this situation to? Like a parent or a teacher or a counselor?

hope this was maybe a small support line?

love and hugs, 

blobby

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

Thank you @mspaceK and @blobby. I really appreciate it.

The same kid that's been picking on/bullying me, Decided to try and drop a chair on me. He missed, but I really don't feel safe about it anymore. I'm reporting what happened now.

[mspaceK]

That is ridiculous that that kid tried to do that to you @xXLexi_Lou122Xx . That's a bit far :/ I am sorry that happened and I am glad it missed. Gawd I hate how cruel teenagers can be to each other. Definitely a good idea to report it. Let me know how it goes! You deserve to feel safe at school. 

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

I know I deserve to feel safe. But clearly that kid didn't want me there. and he's in 5 of my classes in total...
Form, Pathways, Science, Maths, and Japanese. I hate him.

I'm just about to email my year co, my year level deputy principle, and my most trusted teacher. Possibly my youth leader too.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx,

Good on you for reporting that behaviour- every young person has a right to feel safe and supported at school We have some resources on bullying on the ReachOut website if you are interested in having a look

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

I've already looked at those... Sorry. They weren't much help...
I'll have another look, but I still don't think it will help.

My teacher didn't even see it. Nobody did. As soon as that kid tried to do it, I held my tears in, held up my red card, and walked outside. After that, I sat there for the last 40 mins of the lesson, told my teacher what happened, and ran to my last year's english teacher. She is another trusted support. I asked her if I could talk to her on Friday, seeing as it's ANZAC Day tomorrow.

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

I just wanna feel safe.