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Re: TW: Major trust issues, and self-hate is catching up to me

@Hannah-RO
I'm doing better, but my episodes seem to be giving me the vibe that I don't want to be in my life. That it's my way of escaping my current reality.
My diagnosis is a form of FND, But its dissociative seizures/syncope. It doesn't cause any damage to my brain, the only injuries I will sustain would be from falling suddenly or potentially dangerous surroundings.

anyways, it's essentially caused by all the stress, emotional overload, and intrusive thoughts that I internalise so much. From bottling all these things up, my body has no way of letting it out. So it decides to shut down and wait for a bit, no matter what length of time, and let it out that way. Which is why I need to see a psych about it, so we can find ways to manage it and even prevent them from happening.

But because of how toxic and hard my life has been these past few weeks, I've had longer and more worrying episodes. This just tells me more and more that my body is saying 'no, this isn't helping you. you need to get out of this situation now', kind of thing. Then shuts down.

On the upside of this week, my mum spoke to my strings teacher and I'm going to potentially start up again next term. I still don't know, because I need to focus on my work, considering that I'm failing most of my subjects. But I'll decide when I get to that point.

Yeah, my friend really appreciated it. I even told her that I would always stand up for her when things aren't okay, because that teacher aide was being so unprofessional. I'm tempted to tell that teacher aide that she's lost the privilege of calling me Lexi. Now she'll have to call me by my full name, because I'm so disappointed in her. But she can get told that when she actually speaks to me again.

yeah, twice in an hour is really exhausting, considering that I always wake up more tired than before. The same happened for yesterday, but longer. Oh well, I'm okay now. I just have to get my assessments done, and I'll be okay. Smiley Happy

Re: TW: Major trust issues, and self-hate is catching up to me

Oh @xXLexi_Lou122Xx, thanks for the update. I'm so sorry to hear about all the stress you've experienced recently. I am glad to hear that you've finally received a diagnosis to explain your symptoms, and that this provides a way forward for you. Also, good on you for standing up for your friend, and I'm sorry you got punished for that.

 

I hear lots of concern around failing at school. Please do try to be kind to yourself, and practice self-compassion, in the upcoming weeks. Try and do some things that relax you, and that you enjoy.

 

It sounds like your parents are being very supportive throughout all of this, which is lovely to hear.

 

Please keep us updated with how you go Heart