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Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx ,

 

I'm so sorry to read about your experience at school today Smiley Sad.  I know the game you're talking about as I used to play it at school.  It sounds like those kids were unfairly very mean to you when you were just trying to win the game, and they totally misinterpreted everything.

 

School kids can be cruel and sometimes do not realise the impact they can have on others when they say mean things.  It does not make it any easier to experience Cat Sad.  I'm glad the teacher was on your side.  They most likely realised that those kids were in the wrong and you did nothing wrong.  I also LOVE the strength of character you showed by setting them straight and reminding them that they weren't being nice.  That shows incredible courage on your part Heart  

 

I thought I would leave you with this.

 

 

 

 

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Oh @xXLexi_Lou122Xx my heart is aching for you Smiley Sad I’m sending you so much love, support and a virtual hug! no one should have to go through this and I know it is hard to believe sometimes but you are worth so much to a lot of people, don’t let these stupid people that can’t see the real you bring you down. They are not worthy of your time and you deserve so much more than this. I know this is very similar to what I’ve been going through and I’m so glad to hear you have come to the conclusion of moving schools Heart good on you Lexi! I hope it turns out to be a really good change Smiley Happy it will be scary at first coming to a new school and leaving some friends behind but you meet so many more amazing people and you can still keep in touch. For now, keep your head high Heart you’ve got this! School is nearly over for the year then you can use this break to sort things out and put yourself first without them bully’s bringing you down! Please don’t let their opinions, actions and hurtful comments affect you tho Smiley Sad they obviously don’t know you well or see the beautiful soul we have here on the forums! You are worth a lot to me and I’m sure to other users too. We will be with you through your journey changing schools next year as well, so don’t think you will need to do this alone Heart

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Thank you @TOM-RO
That cat made me smile and laugh. Smiley Happy

Yeah, they were. It’s not fair, and I’ve been “teased” by another race person last term, so I know what it’s like to get verbally abused at school. Sometimes it’s not even verbal. It’s written.

I can agree, they don’t know what they’re doing really. But it still hurts...

Umm... I didn’t tell them any thing. I was tempted to say something, but the teacher did the yelling.
She saw everything, not my book, but those kids doing stupid things, and stayed on my side.

I guess I’m okay, but I’m still a bit broken...

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx! I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in a while. Life has been pretty hectic, especially this week.

I'm sorry about the way that people have treated you at school. Smiley Sad That sounds so stressful. It's a really bad feeling to feel like you're being ganged up on. You definitely don't deserve it. I'm glad that the teacher stood up for you though. Heart

I hope that if you do move schools, it will be a positive experience. I moved schools when I was in high school and I was worried about it, but the staff were so welcoming and made me feel at ease. The school psychologists even checked in on me. It helped that the school scheduled some events for the new students to get to know each other.

Have you got any self-care planned for the rest of today? You deserve it. Smiley Happy

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hey @WheresMySquishy
That’s okay. We all need time off sometimes.

It’s fine. I guess I don’t care anymore. I just needed time. I still hate those people, and one of them who’s so full of herself just keeps picking on me during our sport period. But it’s fine.

Yeah, I’m glad too. If the teacher wasn’t there, I probably would have said something I would have regretted, and gotten a label that wasn’t true.

I am definitely moving schools, and I have my uniforms!

I think I’ll definitely make good friends with the staff, so that shouldn’t be a problem.
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Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx 

 

I’m really sorry to hear that you had such a distressing experience at school - it’s so upsetting and scary to be targeted by a group of people. Bullying is never ever okay but we are relieved to hear that you were supported by the teachers aide. Is that someone you can go to if you have any more trouble with this group? 

 

You mentioned that part of the situation was that this group were accusing you of being racist. We wanted to acknowledge that this would have been a tough situation for you to be in. We aren’t 100% sure what happened to make them think that but it’s important to mention that, everyone has different understandings of race and racism which can make it a difficult topic to discuss. We have more information about racism here if you’re interested in having a read. 

 

As the page says, It's not always easy to spot racism, as it can be more subtle than we realise, the page I’m linking to gives a really nice run down of why some things may be considered racist – even if that’s not the intent. To be clear, I’m in no way saying that the aggression and bullying you experienced is OK – it’s absolutely not OK for any reason.  

 

We are really happy that you have come here to get some support with what happened at school. We also need to say here that as we are a public forum, open to many people from different walks of life, we need to be mindful of how we describe people. Using someone's skin colour or culture as a way to identify them is something we avoid on the forums. 

 

There’s a few reasons for this but a big one is that throughout history people of certain cultural backgrounds have been left out of parts of society because of their skin colour. By putting people into the category of “black and white” we continue to separate people unnecessarily 

 

We hope this all makes sense to you but please feel free to ask us any questions you have to clarify. It can be hard to communicate about such a complicated topic online, so we understand if some of what we have said needs to be unpacked a little further. We just wanted to explain that because it could also be triggering for other users, and we want to keep this a safe space for everyone, from all backgrounds.  

 

Once again, we are so sorry to hear about what’s happening at school. There is a RO Quiz here that you can take which can give you some tips about how to deal with bullying here if you’d like to give that a try as well Heart 

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hey @Bre-RO...
I don’t want to come across as angry or anything obviously, but can I make a suggestion when you post?

It would honestly be a lot easier to know what you require of a user, if you ask them to edit their posts, or edit the post for them. And if it doesn’t require editing, just a gentle reminder of the generosity to others feelings, please say that is doesn’t need editing. I keep getting confused when you post to me about failing to adhere to the guidelines, and I’m sorry if this comes across as angry or something. I’m not angry. But your post did make me a little bit angry.

There’s no point in seeing someone really, schools finished. But thankfully, I wasn’t in any of their classes for the alternate program (fun activities).

That quiz thing didn’t really help, because I already know how to deal with bullying. And because I’m moving school, bullying is not going to be an issue. The new school I’m going to is a place where most students are out-of-catchment like me, and want to be there to learn.

I’m kinda moving away from this topic I talked about earlier, because I’m never going to see them again, and like I said in my last post, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve moved on. It’s in the past. Sure, it wasn’t right, but I can just as easily forget it. My new school is going to be the best there is, even if I don’t really want to move yet.

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx 

 

Thanks for your feedback. I just need to clarify what you mean. Are you saying that it's confusing for you when we say you've breached a guideline but don't edit the post for you? Because it leaves you feeling unsure about whether you should edit the post or not?

 

I can't say for sure why @Bre-RO didn't edit your post - maybe because she could tell that it wasn't ill-intended? And it could be seen as in the grey area in terms of the guidelines? But that's probably something @Bre-RO can answer for you on Monday.

 

To me,  it seems like she was giving you a bit of heads up - like "hey, this sort of language can be offensive so be mindful of what you say going forward." Generally speaking - it's probably best to avoid describing people in terms of colour. 

 

Hope that helps!

 

How's your day been so far? 

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Sorry @Maddy-RO.
No, that’s not what confuses me. It’s the fact that you (or other member), have said that using someone’s skin colour to describe them can come across as racist or other, but haven’t specified if it’s just a warning to take into consideration, or if they want me to edit the post. And if I haven’t been on for a while, or if it’s BROKEN the guidelines, then one of you would edit the post for me.

Sorry if this doesn’t make sense. My emotions are just a bit out of control, and it’s hard to explain online.

I’m also sorry if this comes across as angry, but:
Obviously I’ve learnt that using skin colour to describe someone is wrong and offensive, after the long post that Bre gave me, and yet again, I’m a failure. Because I can’t do anything right. Not even here. Because I suck at everything on the face of this earth.

I’m really sorry for being me, and I can’t help being me.

edit: I didn’t mean that, I swear. I shouldn’t have said that, and my emotions are running high. I’m just gonna go to bed.
I’m safe.

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx, I am sorry that this has been confusing you. As Maddy said, it is best for Bre to address this. It does seem unclear to you, so rest assured that we understand the situation and you will not be in trouble for not editing the post. I will make sure I pass this along to Bre Smiley Happy

Learning from this situation shows that you are not a failure. You have been able to take advice on board and understand the reasons behind it. We all make mistakes but the importance is learning from them. This is a key lesson of life so I am not just saying this - it really is true! Tonight sounds like it has been tough.. you mention feeling out of control and having a lot of emotions. Please do what you need to look after yourself tonight to recharge your batteries Heart I have seen you in some of the game threads, so that sounds like a good start. You've got this!