TW New depressive episode

[Tiny_leaf]

@Hannah-RO Not really...

My psychologist accidentally pointed out that most people don't feel in the back of their minds that their death is looming and that it'll happen if they aren't constantly keeping an eye on their mental state.

I'm not sure if this feeling is a completely rational reaction to severe and chronic depression or if it's a symptom of something else.

I've been getting mystery physical pains in my abdomen and I ended up nearly throwing up in a shopping centre because it was so bad.

I've had at least one crying breakdown every day for like a week.

I don't understand what is happening to me.

[Hannah-RO]

Hey @Tiny_leaf 

I'm so sorry you have all of this going on, this sounds like so much to be dealing with. It must have been tough hearing that from your psychologist, did they offer you any insight into these feelings?

That is horrible about your mystery physical pains, are the pains still there today?

We're always here for you @Tiny_leaf, I'm sorry you're going through so much shit. We care about you a lot 

Is there anything nice you could do today? Like playing with your puppy?

Thinking of you. 

[Tay100]

@Tiny_leaf  Oh my, that sounds frustrating and exhausting! @Hannah-RO  had some great suggestions, please let us know if anything helps or keep us updated in general if you like. One thing I'd suggest is if you do throw up remember to replace your electrolytes with Hydrolyte drink or something so you feel better afterwards- people often forget this! 

Sending hugs!

[Tiny_leaf]

@Hannah-RO nah she just made sure i wasn't planning anything.

The pains are gone but eating made me feel really sick. Mum thinks it's just gas and me eating too much.

[Sophia-RO]

That sounds really tough @Tiny_leaf, gas can be so uncomfortable to experience. I hope that you have been able to get some rest and that you are feeling better today. Do you have anything planned for this weekend?

[WheresMySquishy]

@Tiny_leaf  I'm so sorry that you've been in pain and are feeling sick.
Is there anything that you can do to care for yourself?

[Tiny_leaf]

I'm at my brothers birthday party today.

It's nice but I'm not really feeling like being anywhere..

I kinda wanna go back to bed.

[Andrea-RO]

Hey @Tiny_leaf How was the party? did you manage to enjoy things despite feeling a bit exhausted?

[Tiny_leaf]

@Andrea-RO yeah I guess.

[Tiny_leaf]

Mum refused to get me food because it was inconvenient. When I got extremely dizzy, rather than admitting I needed food she started analyzing the glycemic index of what she had allowed me to eat earlier.

Like she fucking understands how that works beyond a wellness article she read half a year ago.

Anyway I kinda want to die now and looks like I'll be feeling too shit to eat anything for dinner so looks like she's doing a fucking great job at restricting my food intake after I spent years teaching myself not to.

I want to stop seeing my dietician because even though she came up with some really good suggestions my mum's gone all diet mode and is forcing me to eat less as if that's going to somehow increase my nutrient intake.