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Re: TW: Permanent scars, not taking care of my health, losing emotions, and I just can't be okay rn.

Thank you @Maryhadalittlelamb.
I just need someone to hold-on to rn.
The one person I know will be there for me, can't be there for me. She has to do stuff for my church. I can't see her and actually be with her until Friday. I'm already in pain. I just need my one special person. That person probably doesn't exist...
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Re: TW: Permanent scars, not taking care of my health, losing emotions, and I just can't be okay rn.

I'm here now @xXLexi_Lou122Xx  talk to me, I'm here to listen and I will try and give you some advice. Xx

Re: TW: Permanent scars, not taking care of my health, losing emotions, and I just can't be okay rn.

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx 

 

I'm here now and I would love a chat I will try and give you advice but let's chat xx

Re: TW: Permanent scars, not taking care of my health, losing emotions, and I just can't be okay rn.

Thank you @Maryhadalittlelamb.
I think I'll be fine for now.
What do you want to know?

Re: TW: Permanent scars, not taking care of my health, losing emotions, and I just can't be okay rn.

I would just like to chat sometime. I hope you are ok 😊💚x

Re: TW: Permanent scars, not taking care of my health, losing emotions, and I just can't be okay rn.

Maybe tomorrow? My laptop is going flat, and I need to get some rest. My health is being annoying again.

I'm okay.

Re: TW: Permanent scars, not taking care of my health, losing emotions, and I just can't be okay rn.

Sounds good, sleep well and it's good you are ok x

Re: TW: Permanent scars, not taking care of my health, losing emotions, and I just can't be okay rn.

Hi Lexi_Lou,

I'm sorry you've been feeling this way, I can see how isolated and overwhelmed you feel. I'm really glad you feel that you can be vulnerable with us on the forum, everyone is here to support you. It can be such a struggle to feel ok, sometimes it's exhausting. I'm wondering whether the youth group makes you feel good even if you can't be as vulnerable as you would like to be?

 

I'm sorry if you've mentioned this earlier Lexi, but are you seeing a counsellor at the moment to work through these feelings? if you find the right person it can be a great space to allow yourself to be vulnerable.

 

I hope you are ok tonight....you mentioned it all wanting to stop, are you safe Lex?

 

Tom

Re: TW: Permanent scars, not taking care of my health, losing emotions, and I just can't be okay rn.

Hi @TOM-RO.
Yes, I am safe. I meant that I want all the bad things to stop. I just want the old times back. Where the only drug known was cough Medicine, the only racism was beating my siblings in a race, the only harm I caused myself was from a scrape on my knee after falling over. I miss the times when I wasn't depressed. When I had friends. When my friends never left me. When I could actually learn something without being bored to death or interrupted. Without the hate, bullying, sadness, and harm.

Yes, I finally have my counsellor back from her honeymoon. But I can't be vulnerable with her in the way that I need. I can cry in front of her, but due to DET policies, I can't Hold-on to her like I can with other people. I need to be able to physically hold-on to that person to be vulnerable. But she doesn't know that I have these feelings. I can't explain it to her. It's about stuff to do with my Christian life, and my past. I just can't do it.

It's so hard.

The youth group I have decided to go to is better for my mental and emotional health, but by doing that, I have to ignore the problems I'm having. I get forced into putting a smile on my face and join in the activities they do there.

I have to perform a song from my musical tomorrow... I don't want to do it. I just feel so alone when I do that thing. Last week of school though, so that should be good...

I just hope I can make it through this last week without becoming so vulnerable to anything that I do.

Re: TW: Permanent scars, not taking care of my health, losing emotions, and I just can't be okay rn.

Yes it can be really hard when you had a time when you were happier and you want desperately to get back to that place. It sounds cheesy, but life truly has it's ups and downs, and you can get back to a better mental space, it just takes time. Everyone needs a hug sometimes, it's a human needSmiley Happy I wonder whether it can be good sometimes to have something that takes the focus off thinking about problems? It's a balance between working through them and distracting yourself, it can be a hard balance to strike though.