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Re: TW?: Permanent scars that only I can see...

Thanks @Tiny_leaf...
But I can't avoid those girls. Well. I can, but I still mentally see them. This sort of stuff haunts me.

Haha... yeah. Except that I actually made myself sick. I didn't tell anyone. Not even my teacher. I just told her that I felt sick, because I was nervous, and needed to go to the bathroom.

I came back, and listened to the last two speeches before we ran out of time to do me.
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Re: TW?: Permanent scars that only I can see...

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx that sucks...

If you can avoid them physically, at least it's less likely for any other conflict to happen..

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Re: TW?: Permanent scars that only I can see...

True, but I still feel the pain of that particular scene in my head all the time.

At least I might be able to move schools... To somewhere that's probably better for my education.
But I still don't want to. I refuse to make a change.
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Re: TW?: Permanent scars that only I can see...

Change can be really challenging @xXLexi_Lou122Xx Smiley Sad

What is it that bothers you most about it?

Hope you're having a lovely weekend! Smiley Happy

// Spiral outward, keep going. //
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Re: TW?: Permanent scars that only I can see...

I don't want to leave my teachers!
I love them and they have a special way of helping me and I'm going to have to decide whats better for me before next year! Idk what to do...

Oh well. I'll just have to try harder at school. If I ignore all the bad things at school and just do homework and stuff during breaktimes, I won't have to change! I'm a genius!
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Re: TW?: Permanent scars that only I can see...

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx please take care that you don't cross the line between trying harder and getting burnt out...

Do you think you could talk to any of your teachers about this? They sound nice, maybe one of them could help?

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Re: TW?: Permanent scars that only I can see...

Ihdk @Tiny_leaf.
The school my parents want me to go to, is better for me, but I don't want to leave. I feel like I could just put on a complete mask, and work on my education more than my emotional state and friends. They clearly broke the 'Dynasty*' we had. My teachers wouldn't understand anyway. Even if I try to talk to them.
But I will try not to cross that line. If I do, then clearly I made the wrong choice of staying at my school.
I will try for you guys here. You're really the only support I can get that helps rn.
At least, just posting how I feel, and other strategies suggested has helped more than anything.

*Dynnasty is a song, feel free to listen to it to get what I mean...
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Re: TW?: Permanent scars that only I can see...

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx I'm sorry that I took a while..

My brain wouldn't let me put enough words together properly...

 

Firstly, I've tried the putting on a complete mask. Believe me, it goes badly. I "wore" mine for years and it messed up a lot of stuff... I really, really don't recommend doing that. It's not emotionally safe or healthy.

 

 

Secondly, your emotions are more important than school for now.

There are almost always other pathways to education than doing well at high school.

But now's a really important time in your life emotionally.

Our brains are really "plastic" as teenagers, basically meaning we can learn a lot of things more quickly and easily than we could learn them as adults.

 

And I think in life, knowing how to look after your emotional wellbeing is going to be more important than knowing how to use trigonometry. 

And being emotionally well is going to help you learn trigonometry (or pretty much anything else) more than knowing trigonometry is going to help you be emotionally well. 

I'm not suggesting you give up on schoolwork. But I think if you have to choose between it and your health, choose your health. 

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Re: TW?: Permanent scars that only I can see...

Sorry @Tiny_leaf. I went to bed...
If you've already tried doing that, then I won't either. But I meant ignoring my friends, not my emotions. If I just work on my areas of weakness at lunch times, I can improve, and then I won't have to change schools. If I don't hang out with my friends, I'll get a better grade, and hopefully won't blame myself for everything.

Do you understand what I mean now? I won't ignore my emtional well-being, I just won't deal with it at school so much as I do now. I've always relied on my teachers to help me emotionally. So now I'm gonna change that.

Today, I'm going to try and stay home. I'm gonna do some baking for lunches this week, do some math homework, and practice my speech for tomorrow.
Hopefully I don't make myself sick before my speech...
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Re: TW?: Permanent scars that only I can see...

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx 

 

I'm sorry to hear that you've had a few bad experiences at school recently. I'm really glad you spoke up about that boy though - good on you! It's also great that he came and apologized to you. 

 

It sounds like you have a bit of plan going forward regarding school which I am glad to hear! 

 

Mmmm you did some cooking today did you? How did you go? What did you bake? Heart