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TW- Some bullying is bringing back trauma

Hi all. I’m having a really hard time at the moment with everything. This is really hard for me to talk about and probably doesn’t make sense. My thoughts are really uncohesive with everything that’s been happening.

 

Heres some background about my situation:

A few years ago i was sexually assaulted and my reputation at school among many other things were heavily damaged because the perpetrator had spread lies saying “i wanted it” and people called me some nasty names like “slut”. 

 

Back to the present, I wouldn’t call it bullying because it hasn’t been going on long enough but there are some girls being plain nasty. These girls i don’t even know are publicly posting pictures online of me without consent, calling me things online and in reality like “slut” and “skuxx” like a couple years ago. This is all bringing it back and I can’t handle it.

 

Telling my year level coordinator is far as I’ve gotten but i don’t think i have anything left in me to take this any further. I pushed myself to far the other night and refused to fall asleep in fear of nightmares and i’ve been having so many flashbacks. I went 38 hours with no sleep and i’m fearful of falling asleep again tonight.

 

I’m in therapy but it’s just not often enough because wait times are so long. speaking to KHL has helped a bit and I’ve recently started anti-depressants but i feel i’m really struggling still. These thoughts and flashbacks are too hard for me to deal with at the moment but i know i have to work on them. I just really need something temporary to pull me out of this hole for now. What can i do?

Re: TW- Some bullying is bringing back trauma

Hi @IsabellasRecovery! Wow, I don't really know what to say. That sounds like a really hard, awful situation. Thank you for sharing it with us. You've been so brave! The entire ReachOut community has your back.

Sexual assault survivors are never to blame. You didn't deserve what happened to you and you don't deserve to be bullied. Both of them are very difficult, traumatic things to go through as a young person, or for anyone. I'm proud of you for working up the courage to tell your year coordinator about what's been happening.

This article may help you with some ideas and give you insight into some of the perfectly normal emotions you might be feeling: https://au.reachout.com/articles/what-is-sexual-assault

This thread may help you find some suggestions about dealing with nightmares: https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Something-s-not-right/TW-Some-I-knew-died-and-someone-else-I-know-...

Have you tried contacting 1800 Respect? They have experienced counsellors regarding sexual assault. Maybe they can help you when it's hard to access other support services.

Sending you lots of hugs to get you through this tough time Smiley Happy

Re: TW- Some bullying is bringing back trauma

@IsabellasRecovery. That is really tough. Do you have any friends you can hang out with? Are they calling you these horrid names? I'm here to listen.❤
I would try those threads and articles. They are pretty helpful. Otherwise, try practicing some self care. Maybe that will take your mind off what's happening... but then again, I'm not the best at giving help. I am also in a bad situation right now. So, please understand that I'm also trying to help.
Sending love, Heart:

Re: TW- Some bullying is bringing back trauma

@WheresMySquishy thank you for replying. I haven’t spoken to 1800 RESPECT, not really something i’m interested in for the time being, i think the bullying is my main issue of concern because that is the immediate trigger. I’ve had a look at those links, thank you Smiley Happy

Re: TW- Some bullying is bringing back trauma

Hey @IsabellasRecovery , 

I'm so sorry that you've had to experience something so horrible. It is incredibly brave of you to share such an experience, as well as ask for help Heart 

I think that the resources that @WheresMySquishy have shared above are really great. I'd also strongly recommend talking to 1800Respect, as they have experience with a lot of the associated difficulties of assault, not just the immediate after effects. 

If you're looking for additional counselling to add to the sessions you get at therapy and with KHL, I can suggest contacting Beyond Blue, as well as eHeadspace, as they also have phone and internet based counselling.