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Re: TW Struggling with cycles of self esteem, self hate and self improvement

@Tiny_leaf just to be clear, was it voices that you could understand what they were saying? Or noises that weren't acute voices?
If it was voices, a strategy that sometimes helps is vocalisation- so talking, humming, whistling, listening to music or murmuring can often curb voices.
If it was noises, it can help to remember that they aren't actually there- there isn't anything necessarily "wrong" with you, lots of people experience noises that don't exist.

Re: TW Struggling with cycles of self esteem, self hate and self improvement

@Tiny_leaf  That sounds really scary and distressing. Smiley Sad I used to hear voices too, but as my PTSD symptoms lessened, so did the voices. They don't mean that you're crazy or that something bad will happen. I think hearing voices is a normal phenomenon. Lots of successful people have heard them.

Have you heard of the Hearing Voices Network? They have a lot of helpful strategies for coping with hearing voices here. They ran support groups in Perth up until recently, but you might be able to find some similar groups. I think this article from SANE is also helpful. There is also a similar thread here.

Re: TW Struggling with cycles of self esteem, self hate and self improvement

@WheresMySquishy @not-an-otter it's not so much the hallucinations themselves that bothered me, I used to have them almost constantly so feeling broken or crazy or not knowing how to cope isn't really my problem here.

The noises themselves are more annoying than anything.

 

But... last time I had hallucinations that.. clear, I guess, they kinda escalated into much, much worse hallucinations that I can't really describe here because of guidelines.

And that's what I'm scared of.

I can't even describe how horrific they were....

I'm scared because they might go back to that, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. 

Re: TW Struggling with cycles of self esteem, self hate and self improvement

@Tiny_leaf  I think that's a really tricky situation. It's bad enough trying to deal with the voices, but then you also have to deal with the anxiety and sense that something bad will happen. Smiley Sad

Do you think any strategies about dealing with flashbacks would help you? I think a lot of these techniques could also apply to hallucinations.
Here are some resources:
SANE - Coping with Flashbacks
https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/CopingwithFlashbacks.pdf
https://www.secasa.com.au/assets/Documents/coping-with-flashbacks.pdf

Maybe you could also make a plan about what to do if you experience hallucinations. Are you able to do any relaxation activities too?

Re: TW Struggling with cycles of self esteem, self hate and self improvement

@WheresMySquishy I don't know...

I'll look at those resources when I have the energy though. I've had a pretty terrible day..

Um.. I don't think so.... they aren't the kind of thing I can just ignore or distract myself from really...

My choices if they come back are to ride it out for the 40 minutes-3 hours or go to the emergency department for like 12 hours before being discharged without any treatment... 

Re: TW Struggling with cycles of self esteem, self hate and self improvement

hey @Tiny_leaf

I just wanted to check in with how you're feeling right now? You mentioned in your previous post that you have a plan for what to do if your symptoms persist. It's really good that you have such a clear idea of what you want to do if your symptoms persist. I just wanted to check if you're family or someone else close to you in real life knows that you are currently hearing voices, so that they can look out for you if have any issues with either riding out your symptoms or getting yourself to the emergency department Heart 


Re: TW Struggling with cycles of self esteem, self hate and self improvement

@Tiny_leaf  I'm sorry you've had such a bad day. Smiley Sad

Have you ever gone to a Headspace centre? Some centres have support services for people who hallucinate. I think there are three of these in Perth. They also have a program where you can work with a caseworker and they take a whole family, holistic approach to treatment. They also give you access to e-headspace which provides online and telephone after-hours support. I totally get it if you don't want to go through this kind of treatment given the bad experiences that you've had though.

Re: TW Struggling with cycles of self esteem, self hate and self improvement

@Andrea-RO not brilliant.. too much has been going on and I had an appointment with a not so helpful psych.... 

 

Um.. I don't know if I explained it properly...

Basically going to the ED for my hallucinations means that I have the awful experience of said hallucinations in the back seat of the car, wait for hours to be admitted, peeing into a cup to prove that I'm not high and/ or pregnant, having my panic attack being extended by a heap of strangers asking questions I often can't answer, and then being discharged at 3am after receiving absolutely no treatment.

It is an option, but not a good one because our health system can be slightly fucked when you have anything more complex than a broken leg...

I actually don't have a better plan if they come back other than crying under a blanket, and my parents normally just increase my distress...

Re: TW Struggling with cycles of self esteem, self hate and self improvement

@WheresMySquishy yeah, the place I used to go to referred me (aka tried to drop me with) to the Early Psychosis Program.

 

But I technically have a depressive disorder, not a psychotic one (double depression with psychotic features, because apparently my brain chose one that was hard to diagnose Smiley Frustrated).

So I'm not eligible for that program...

 

Idk if they can help me outside that specific program though...

Plus I'm always cautious about the possibility of compulsory treatments or hospitalizations. 

There's nothing I should be hospitalized for rn, but that doesn't stop some people...

I do genuinely want to try it but thanks to the previous place I went to I've learnt some therapists.. should not be therapists....

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Re: TW Struggling with cycles of self esteem, self hate and self improvement

@Tiny_leaf  I see. Smiley Sad If you want to attend the program and they tell you you're not eligible, could you argue that you're at risk of developing signs of psychosis? They say that people who are at risk of psychosis can be enrolled in the program on the website here. There is also a brochure about it that recognises that some people with depression can also have psychotic features. It could be that maybe they don't have the resources to treat everyone and are only treating people with psychotic disorders like schizophrenia right now. Another option could be to find one that treats both depression and psychosis, but not all do. You might have to enquire about it if you're keen on attending the program.

There is also another program called OnTrack Get Real that is designed to help people cope with hallucinations. It's free and online. It could be an option if you want to do a program, but don't want anyone to know or don't want to see anyone in person. I get what you mean about wanting to avoid compulsory treatments or hospitalisations, not to mention dodgy therapists.