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Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

Hey @Tiny_leaf 


It's good to see that you can see the humour in being given an informal pooping license (also love that you put it in italics). In saying that I can also sense the frustration and humiliation - no need to elaborate if you don't want to. Know that you have our support regardless Heart 


And thank goodness for fur babies! It makes me smile to know that your cat is there to give you company. 


Hope you've been able to rest Heart 

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@Bre-RO yes I take great pride in my use of italics Smiley Tongue


Basically just my brother complains whenever I use "our" toilet. 

My brother keeps criticizing my toilet use (from the amount of toilet paper I use to the fact I don't poop blocks of dried lavender - not that he does either) and last night heavily used an air freshener that sets off my asthma. And then screamed at me for closing a door so that I could continue breathing, because having to open the door was more "inconvenient" for him than not breathing could be for me.

The other available toilet is attached to my parents bedroom and mum would yell at me for using her and dad's toilet, so I've basically been having to sneak into mum's toilet when I need to go for the last like year.

My parents recently noticed that this is not acceptable for someone who already has anxiety and low self esteem after my brother screamed abuse at me for five minutes and I had a complete breakdown because I just wanted to go to the fucking toilet without being afraid.


So I have now been granted 'special permission' to use my parents' bathroom without being told off.

Also now just thinking of going to the other toilet even when no one's home is filling me with uncontrollable anxiety so i don't have much choice.


And instead of rest my brain has been intensely hyperfixated on aquariums for the last 12-ish hours so I stayed up till 4am Google-ING various fish.

Did you know that one of the most popular and adaptable aquarium fish is critically endangered in the wild? Also they're very cute.

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@Tiny_leaf  Smiley LOL I'm glad that you've got a pooping licence! That kind of reminds me of my family.
My family members sometimes get annoyed at me because I spend too long in the toilet.
My grandma also leaves the toilets in a bad state, so we are always cleaning them, much to my frustration. I think this could be a sign of dementia, but my dad doesn't think she's that bad. *eyeroll.*

I love watching videos of fish, especially before I go to sleep.
WHAT? Really?

I hope your appointments get better. Heart I saw my ophthalmologist yesterday and it was kind of meh.

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@WheresMySquishy Smiley LOL that just reminds me of the whole "pen licence" thing.

I still don't have mine and am confined to pencils forever Smiley Tongue


And yep! Fish are weird.. some are nearly extinct because of aquariums, but for others they're the only reason the species is alive.


I don't think that the psychologist appointment went badly - I at least didn't have to teach her anything and she mentioned diagnostic overshadowing without being prompted. I'd probably give her a B+ or A- Smiley Tongue


Did anything bad happen or was it more just unhelpful?

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@Tiny_leaf  I don't think I ever got my pen licence either. Smiley LOL At my high school, we also had to have a licence to use a bunsen burner. I completely failed the test, but I never told anyone and I just used it anyway.

I'm glad the psychologist appointment didn't go badly. I agree that there can be a lot of overlap between conditions, so it's a good thing that she recognised this.

Well... It's kind of a long story.
The ophthalmologist was kind of disappointed that the eye drops he put me on (which cost $300-400 out of pocket because they had to be compounded) didn't do much, which I was expecting because I didn't feel any better.
He kind of went on about how there are levels to treating the disease I have and they start off with small things and then progress to more aggressive things. He thought multiple things could be contributing to my problem.
Either I have an in-office procedure combined with some other new eye drops, which might not get rid of the whole problem, or I go on a higher dose of the one I was on before. He didn't give me much of a choice because he was reluctant to put me on the higher dose because I am a 'young female', it is a very strong immunosuppressant and they have a small risk of side effects, although he didn't tell me what they were or what my age and sex have to do with it. He said it wasn't worth the risk.
It turned out, I am only the second person in the practice to have this procedure because it's a new machine. It costs $300 a session and isn't available on Medicare but he is going to give me a 'pensioner's discount'. Then I have to see him again after six weeks. If it works, I can have it repeated after a certain amount of time.
Anyway, I have mixed feelings about it, because while I want to give the procedure a try, I am also getting a bit frustrated with trying all these different treatments. They are time-consuming and expensive, and none of them have really fixed the problem. I also get the feeling that I don't have a lot of options left. I'm not really sure how I should feel about it. Smiley Indifferent

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

Hey @WheresMySquishy 


Oh that sounds like a lot for you to process, not wonder you're not sure how to feel about this all. I am hearing your frustration and those feelings can be hard to sit with. I hope you can give yourself the time you need to decide what is best for you going forward. Have you got anything fun/relaxing planned for the weekend? Heart 

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@WheresMySquishy that sucks...


I'm personally a little reluctant with immunosupressants but that's because my immune system's already a bit... incompetent...

Idk what age or sex has to do with it either though...


Isn't medical stuff fun? Smiley Indifferent


Also Smiley Surprised!!! What if you burnt down the classroom??? Smiley Tongue

I mean some of my classmates did nearly burn down a desk in a brave demonstration to the class of why flammable liquids should have the lids on their bottles put back after use. No one was injured somehow and the desk survived though.

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@Tiny_leaf  @Bre-RO  Thanks for the support. Heart

@Bre-RO  I've just finished filling out and sending a bunch of forms and paperwork, so hopefully I can use this weekend to relax. One of my extended family members has the week off, so we might go and watch a movie or go somewhere together.

@Tiny_leaf  I am a bit reluctant about these immunosuppressants as well. I don't think it is really something that you would want to be taking for long periods of time, which is what the doctor said also. The problem is, I think my condition is chronic.

Hahaha, that's so true. I almost burnt down the kitchen once while cooking in school. I don't know how I managed to get an A for that class. Smiley Tongue
I'm glad no one was hurt and the desk survived. Similar things happened at my school, only with people being silly with gas taps. I remember we had to have first aid kits and an emergency shower installed in the science labs.
We also got burnt all the time while cooking.

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@WheresMySquishy damn...

Do you know if the procedure would take away the need for them?


Well that sounds terrifying...

My school has first aid kits and fire equipment, but no one ever uses them concerningly.... 

I once managed to injury myself before I even started cooking. I have to tell all of my support workers that if (...when) I get hurt it's because I'm clumsy, not because they've made a mistake.

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@Tiny_leaf   If the procedure works, I might not have to have the higher dose of eye drops. I read that it seems to have a better rate of helping than the immosuppressant drops, so I'm kind of hopeful. It looks like a pretty safe procedure. It is similar to a treatment that I've been doing manually, only it's done by a machine, so it's supposed to be more effective. But it might not get rid of the entire problem I have because it seems to have a lot of potential causes, and the procedure will only address one of them. So that's why I also have to have another type of eye drop at the same time. Unfortunately, they burn and sting, which the doctor warned me about. Smiley Sad

Ouch! Hope it wasn't too serious.
I'm pretty clumsy myself! Sometimes, I serve food and drink to people when I volunteer, and I have to be extra careful not to spill or drop anything, but I usually do to some degree anyway. Smiley Tongue