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Re: TW: drowning

sorry the vent below, everyone’s at school so this is the only place i guess i can vent :/

 

erghh im so sick of spending time with my family. my mum is being horrible and my sister is throwing tantrums 24/7. it’s so sad and embarrassing to have to call them my family. i know im not perfect but my “mother” is constantly is putting me down and giving me the shits and i hate it. she makes me feel more suicidal. 

 

its also annoying because it’s just us 3 not 4 so whenever we sit down the waiters always say “is there 4 of you this morning/tonight ?” it’s actually really sad. i wish i had a dad and nice mum but unfortunately i don’t and im stuck with them for a while.

 

i went swimming this morning and my scars showed, i genuinely thought my swimmers would cover them up on my hips but i guess not Smiley Sad luckily i was able to cover it up asap but they kept like rolling up. and the scars are so obvious ! 

 

im also feeling so suicidal right now. im safe but all this thoughts and urges are so strong and constant. how do people get rid of these thoughts ? i feel like it’s my only answer.

 

sorry everything just like poured outSmiley Tongue

Re: TW: drowning

@litgym I'm so sorry to hear that the holiday isn't going to well :/ It must be super draining to have your 'mother' putting you down all the time - you don't deserve that Heart

I can totally understand that it would be awkward/sad to have to say "No, Just us" but I think nowadays it's definitely becoming a lot more common. Wishing you had better parents sound really tough, kids/teens should be able to grow up in a safe, loving environment and for some reason, this doesn't always go as planned.

 

I'm sorry to hear that the scars showed while you were swimming Smiley Sad Though, I am super glad you are safe! Is there anything you can do at the moment that would help you? Go for a walk or something? Maybe you could give KHL a call or web chat if your preferred counselor is on atm? 

 

Here for you xo & sending you BIG hugs! HeartHeart

Re: TW: drowning

@annabethxchase yeah it’s pretty upsettingSmiley Sad i wish everyone could grow up in a happy and safe environment but unfortunately not everyone - just like us Smiley SadHeart

 

we’re going out for lunch soon so i dunno how that’s gonna go ! and it’s so awkward because my sister, “mother” and i have nothing to talk about and we just sit in silence. 

 

i feel too desperate to contact my counsellor :/ maybe later tonight but she’s on phone calls so ill have to ask her to swap :/ Heart

Re: TW: drowning

hey @litgym, sounds  really rough. 

I can only reiterate and agree with what @annabethxchase has said above  Heart


I know you find the KHL counsellor really helpful, which makes me think you'd really benefit from seeing a regular counsellor or pscyhologist IRL so that you can really work through some of these difficult thoughts and feelings. 

I know you don't want to talk to your mum about what's going on for you, and this is a really tough thing to do - we have some great resources over here about how to broach the subject. We also some have resources on how to cope with tough family situations here too. 
Just a thought Heart

Let me know if anything ressonates with you. 

 

Otherwise, keep coming back to your self-care and safe activities.
Always here to listen! 

 

 

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Re: TW: drowning

@gina-RO i can’t talk to her.

my sister was fucking wracking me with an umbrella and then my mum sprayed water in my face WHAT THE FUCK !!!! erghh im really done with this shit ! thanks for the articles i look at them later x and i might talk to my counsellor later idk. i can never seem to connect with anyone in person though but i am seeing my new psych next Monday.

Re: TW: drowning

@litgym ugh that's really frustrating Smiley Sad 

That's good to hear you're seeing a new psych on Monday - is that a psychologist or psychiatrist?

Good on you for giving that a go, even though you don't always feel you connect as well in person. 

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Re: TW: drowning

@gina-RO well im pretty sure it’s a psychologist - im trying my local headspace centre but i think my first session im with a social worker or someone ? i don’t remember.

Re: TW: drowning

@litgym , oh I hope it goes well! Yeah headspace has a few different professionals that they might link you in with - let us know how it goes Heart 

 

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Re: TW: drowning

@gina-RO yeah, ill keep you guys updated on how headspace goes Smiley Happy

Re: TW: drowning

Hey @litgym!

How have the last couple of days been? Here for you Heart