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TW: im just in a bad place right now.

hi sorry i don’t really know how this works or how to write this out, but i haven’t been sleeping well the past two weeks, and want to get something off my chest anonymously.

i don’t really know how to get my life together. after acting on some suicidal thoughts, which i am safe from and have been actively working on, life has just been kinda bad. anyone else experience this? i’ve got bipolar disorder (which includes depression in a way) and anxiety disorders, it seems to have just gotten worse. i still get written off all the time, but it feels like now everyone’s not just ignoring me when i’m like this but also avoiding me. i’ve basically stopped going to school all together and no one seems to care at all. i stopped taking care of myself, as in eating, going to my psychologist often, sleeping properly etc. i stopped doing things i used to enjoy and feel isolated and completely alone, different from everyone else. when i tried to talk to someone they just said how i’m being sensitive and that they go through so much worse.

i feel miserable and can’t really express that anywhere, but if anyone replies just know i am so extremely grateful. really need some advice, words of support or even just a way to distract myself  and if i can help anyone i would love to.

sorry again i have no idea what i’m doing, it’s my first post.

Re: TW: im just in a bad place right now.

Hey @bunko_y, and welcome to ReachOut!
That sounds like there's a lot on your plate at the moment.
Now, I don't have any anxiety or depression disorders, but I have suffered through a horrible anxiety for 3 years. I also have a mild sense of depression, but it has gotten worse depending on how I feel each day.

I was wondering if you have any friends at school? Can you talk to them?

I have big issues with friends, because they turn their backs on me for no reason, but turn back when they regret what they did.

You're not alone on this, as I have a big isolation thing going on with me. I'm sure there are many other users here who go through the same thing too.

I always try to be here everyday, but I may not always be here when you're on.
Just know this:
We are all here for you, and you're not alone!

I'll just tag some other users who might be going through this.
@Bananatime04@scared01@mspaceK@Jess1-RO@Andrea-RO@TOM-RO@DruidChild.

As I have also stated, I understand how you're feeling. I'm also here to listen if you need someone to talk to.

Here for you!
Hugs*

//You are strong, You are beautiful , You are enough//

Re: TW: im just in a bad place right now.

Hey @bunko_y

First I'd also like to welcome you to the community. It can often be really difficult to ask for help, so you've been incredibly brave and strong to make that first step. 

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly tough time at the moment, which I am so sorry to hear. I am really glad to hear that even though you acted on suicidal thoughts in the past that you are safe now. If you are ever, ever, feeling suicidal or struggling with thoughts of self harm, I really recommend that you call a mental health support line like Kids HelpLine (1800 55 1800), Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), or LifeLine (13 11 14). 

Unfortunately, a big part of mental health and mental ill health is how it can fluctuate. A lot of the time the best thing we can do to is to prepare for a "wave" of anxiety, depression, or mania, and then just ride it out until it gets better. While getting through it can often sound like the most difficult thing in the world, we can take steps to help make getting though it slightly easier.

 

Doing little things to take care of yourself can also help you feel better. Things like going to bed early and setting your alarm for the morning can help make you feel a bit more in control of your day, as well as refreshing your brain properly. You can also do some activities like cooking or cleaning, which not only help your mind to focus on something other than your thoughts, but also help make your environment nicer too Smiley Happy Of course you don't have to feel pressured to do everything at once. Even checking one thing off your list is an excellent place to start!

 

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx also gave some really good advice, in that it's important in times like these you have a support network you can rely on. Talking to friends, your family, or even posting here on ReachOut can always help you feel like you are being listened to and understood. 

All the best Heart

 

Re: TW: im just in a bad place right now.

Hey @bunko_y welcome to the forums! 

 

I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through right now. Especially because you're feeling like no one cares, or no one is listening to what you have to say. I'm glad you've come here to share, and know that everyone here is willing to listen and try help Heart

 

Although I can't say I've experienced exactly the same things as you have, I have felt helpless about the state of my life before, feeling like it's falling through my fingers no matter how hard I try to hold it together. And it's tough, it's so so tough. I just wanted to let you know that sometimes things take time to change, and for me, being patient with myself and my progress yields a healthier mindset for me to exist within until this change comes through. I'm proud of you for getting through some hard times already, and I'm rooting for more of your progress! 

 

I noticed that you also mentioned that you've stopped taking care of yourself, which is totally understandable given the way you've been feeling. But like @Andrea-RO said, any little things you could do to nurture and take care of yourself can sometimes help. For me, getting my body clean and having a lovely warm meal helps comfort me. If you're stuck for ideas, there are so many self-care forums here like this that so many people have posted on with many creative and helpful things. Smiley Happy

 

(Awesome job on making your first post btw!)

Re: TW: im just in a bad place right now.

Hi @bunko_y and welcome to the RO forums.

 

I think you are being really brave having the courage to tell your story here. I wanted to post because I feel like I resonate so much with some of your feelings you have described as well as situation to do with recovering after acting on suicidal feelings. I was in the same place a few weeks ago and ended up in hospital because i was at risk to myself. I wasn't taking care of myself at all and everything has been a mess. I will be honest that these past few weeks have been incredibly hard as I am still struggling with intrusive thoughts and negative thoughts and feelings in general. Something that has helped me through this time has been talking on the RO forums (if not just for a simple distraction) as well as checking in with my GP and kidshelpline regularly. 

 

I wanted you to know that you are not alone and i am always here to listen. I have an anxiety disorder and possibly depression, but the depression hasn't been 100% confirmed. Another thing I am struggling with is fluctuating emotions.  I don't know if I have bi-polar or bad pms or what - what I know what it is like to feel periods of extreme lows and then extreme highs. It's something I am supposed to be following up with my GP, nurse and psych next week. 

 

All the people who have posted have some really great ideas @skyedre @Andrea-RO @xXLexi_Lou122Xx . I think it is important to take things really slow and take baby steps and try to make things as easy for yourself as possible. For me that means reducing expectations and being okay with that. For example - if i don't eat food or cook for myself - even just having toast is a huge achievement. 

 

I'm here for you <3