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TW ish vent ig

For the last couple of days I've been wanting to Kms but I haven't yet and the feelings Are not getting any better and I've been thinking bout messaging a crises line thing but I feel as if tho what I'm feeling isn't good enough for that becuse I want to kill myself bit I know I'm not going to unless my friend give my stuff back but I hate myself as well becuse yesterday I physically harmed and threatend  both of my best friends to stay away from me (this was at school) I told them to leave me alone and I wanted to be alone and stuff but my friends didn't want me going Off bc in the last class I harmed myself without them knowing, bit anyways, they kept trying to keep me with them and when I would walk away THWY would follow me so when one of my friends J put her arm out to stop me from walking I bit her really hard and now there's a bruze on her arm and so did my other friend h when she tried to hug me, I understand they didn't want me to go off on my own but I was going to hurt them, I'm not trying to sound mean becuse I hate that I did I was just so angry with every one that I, Idk, yeah and I'm school I've been harming myself, I'm on medication but I feel like there not working bc I feel like I'm on the verge of ending my life,  I don't know who to talk to, becuse I don't want it make anyone upset and stuff, but I don't know, I don't know how to express myself in this I've deleted alot of it and Idk it's just really hard, and I'm sorry for it being so long if you even read it Smiley Tongue

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Re: TW ish vent ig

Hey @wolvesrunfree, It sounds like you're really struggling at the moment, and I am so sorry to hear that you are are struggling with thoughts of killing yourself recently. 

First of all, I really want to encourage you to call a crisis line if you are feeling at all down or distressed. They are always willing to listen, no matter how small the issue is.  I do really want to underline that you should also definitely call a crisis support like LifeLine or KidsHelpline if you are having thoughts of harming yourself in any way

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Re: TW ish vent ig

Hello @wolvesrunfree , I’m so sorry to hear you are hurting. Thank you for reaching out

I definitely agree with @Andrea-RO that a crisis or help line could be very helpful right now, especially as those who answer have experience and are able to try and help you in a specific way. 
I’m also curious whether you do/whether you would be open to seeing a psychologist or mental health professional? 

Thinking of you 💙

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Re: TW ish vent ig

@Andrea-RO I would call a crisis line but IDK I'm scared becuse I have to physically talk to them other then texting, and I don't want my mum to find out what's going on, and if I am at school during lunch time and stuff, do you know of there is one where I can text them at all?
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Re: TW ish vent ig

Hey @liv1611 , I do see a psychologist, my next appointment is next week, and yeah I might call one but as I said in my reply to Andrea-RO I'd rather text then phyisicly talk.
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Re: TW ish vent ig

Hey @wolvesrunfree, Lifeline has a text line. If you text 0477131114 between 6pm and 12am AEST a crisis supporter will have a text message conversation with you. Kids Helpline has a webchat option (typing back and forth with a counselor online- and you can keep asking for the same person if you want), or an email option. I believe Headspace, Beyond Blue and Suicide Callback Service (that last one you need to be over 15) all have an online chat option too. Good luck, and I'm sorry things are so hard for you Heart

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Re: TW ish vent ig

Hi @wolvesrunfree Kids Helpline has a 24 hour text-based webchat, all you need is internet (and a computer/ phone..) Here's the link: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

You just answer a few questions, wait a while and then a councilor comes online.

You also have the option of emailing them.

 

One other thing, I find physical contact really hard to deal with sometimes, so I ask most people who deal with me regularly to ask permission before touching me. Do you think that might work with you and your friends?

Sometimes setting clear boundaries can be helpful, and it could prevent you getting upset and your friends getting injured. 

 

Also, just wondering what supports do you have  helping you through this at the moment?

 

EDIT: Oops, I see @hellofriend beat me to it..

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Re: TW ish vent ig

Hi @hellofriend yeah I've just tried to get the suicide call back service, and thanks you💜

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Re: TW ish vent ig

Hey @Tiny_leaf, I think I might try eating boundarys but I don't know how to like start the conversation and stuff, becuse lately my anxiety has been really bad and I haven't been able to even talk to them properly.
And with my support stuff I have a phyciatris, but that's about it, and I also take meds for this
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Re: TW ish vent ig

Hi @wolvesrunfree , 

 

I just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling this morning? Your safety is really important to us, you mentioned that you have been having thoughts of harming yourself, and I wanted to check if you are safe at the moment? 

 

We are so glad that you came to the forums last night, there are a lot of people who've been through really tough times themselves here, and I'm so glad that you found @hellofriend 's suggestions of using the lifeline text support service, Kids Helpline online chat, or the suicide callback service helpful. I hear that you were feeling really distressed last night, and it sounds like those were really terrible feelings to be experiencing. I'm sorry that you had to go through that, and hope that you find the extra support options helpful. 

 

I think @Tiny_leaf 's suggestion of how to set clear boundaries with your friends around physical contact is also excellent. 

 

You mentioned that you see a psychiatrist, do you think you might be able to organise to see them again soon? You mention that you don't feel like your medications are working at the moment, so it may be helpful to speak to a doctor about that. 

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