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Re: TW suicide

@lokifish I kinda stayed up all night (unintended) sorting out my magic cards and I built a new deck. Then I spent the rest of the night cleaning my room. I rearranged my shelves and moved the furniture around.
Today I've been running around buying a few things for when I start with an exercise physiologist to learn how to work out with the injuries I've done to myself the last 10 years.
Kinda think I'm heading into mania now though -no sleep, impulsive,loud, shopping, excessive cleaning etc. I think part of it is I've not been allowed medication since Sunday.
I don't want to start the meds again. It's better having this mood than numb and agitated and the weird unknowns of the testosterone.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: TW suicide

Sounds like it was a productive night @redhead but a little concerning that you think you might be heading into mania... Is there someone you can talk to about that? And is there anything that helps you manage?

 

- Hayley R/O

Re: TW suicide

What’s mania?

Re: TW suicide

@Mrstweety5482 so the type of mental health issue @redhead has and please correct me if im wrong x so he can have a manic episode and depressive episode. currently he’s in manic. so this means in a manic he would do things he usually wouldn’t do. this is my best at explaining as simple as i can. but of course please correct me or elaborate more ❤️

Re: TW suicide

That's right @litgym, it can be a period of time where someone feels great excitement or euphoria, delusions, and overactivity, which can often mean people can be a little impulsive and do things they generally wouldn't. Hope this helps @Mrstweety5482

Re: TW suicide

@TOM-RO I spoke to my case man about it as I had an interesting day. Usually I just ride it out and try to enjoy the best of it while I can.

@Mrstweety5482 the others have explained mania pretty well. Imagine you've had 10 redbulls in 5 minutes.
I also get more paranoid and psychotic during manic phases. I feel separate from the world
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: TW suicide

Oh and today was fun. Did probably 25km of walking around town with an appointment and shopping I need to do from placed on opposite sides of the city. Got blisters on my little toes. lol. Thoigh not lol though it hurts.
I doubt I'll sleep tonight. It's going to be so boring.
My CM is aware of all this and I'm seeing her tomorrow.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: TW suicide

Hey @redhead, it sounds like things are difficult for you, but it's great that you're seeing your CM tomorrow. What are you up to now? Heart

Re: TW suicide

@mrmusic I've been doing lots of random shit. Also didn't sleep again (though tbh I didnt even try) I did more shopping today and soon will be catching an old friend for lunch then seeing my case manager. Oh and I have purple hair now something random I did at 2,30 am
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: TW suicide

Hey @redhead, I'm so sorry to hear you've been going through such a tough time, I can't imagine how you must be feeling but I just want to say that I can see you truly are so strong and brave for continuing to try so hard despite how hard it is and what you are going through. And as @Jay-RO mentioned, we are all so proud and happy you are here, it definitely takes a lot of courage to call an ambulance and I am so sure you have inspired many others (including me) in your persistence! <3
I hope you have an amazing day and do some fun things, do you have much planned?