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Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

I can hear my heartbeat in my ears like really really loud and I feel so weird.. I don’t feel normal at all. Idk what’s happening but it’s really loud and irritating. I’ve never had this happen before
Also I forgot to say that at school my voices were saying my name and I kept thinking other people were and it wouldn’t stop

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hi @Bananatime04!

I wish I did... I'm glad that you've got someone though.

I know what you mean... not insulting myself felt almost like lying honestly..

How it used to work for me was it'd insult me, then I'd immediately agree by being like "yup, sounds about right". 

The first thing I did against it was to put off agreeing. First for a few seconds, then as I got better at it few minuets, and then eventually I stopped agreeing with altogether. 

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

@Bananatime04 slow breathing exercises might help steady your heartbeat.

Also are you feeling chest pains at all?

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hi @Bananatime04! Hearing your heartbeat sounds annoying and scary! I think that it is probably nothing to worry about but if you keep hearing your heartbeat in your ears then I think it's a good idea to ask your GP about it to rule out possible causes or provide some reassurance.

Are you able to listen to any music or ambient sounds to distract yourself from hearing your heartbeat? It might also help with the voices.

I like websites and apps like this one: https://asoftmurmur.com/

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

@Bananatime04 I don't know how you'll feel about this, but have you ever considered medication?

Just.. with hearing voices, the sooner you start getting help the better, and medications can slow down the progress of hallucinations, or even make them quieter. 

I know how frightening it is to even ask, but it's better then them getting worse. And the sooner you can get treated for it the less chance it'll have to do that.

I know that medication's a pretty personal thing, and I'm not telling you that you have to get it, but I am asking you to maybe consider the possibility.. 

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

I am finding it so hard to keep up with things and it’s getting a lot worse.. I’m sorry

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

@Bananatime04 you don't need to apologise.

How're you going right now? 

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

I’m really struggling to keep up with things.. I get so much homework for every subject including electives, I have gymnastics from 4-8 so I don’t have the time which means I fail, it’s makig it harder for me to spend time on the forums and have sessions with my counsellor, I can’t hang out with my friends because I have homework to do in my spare time and it only gets worse 😩 our teachers tell us the homework increases and I just can’t keep up and it’s affecting other things too

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

I can imagine the stress you're going through having to keep up with things @Bananatime04 - that is one busy schedule! I was wondering if you've yet to bring this up with your counsellor to see what they can suggest you can do to go about this?
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around
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Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hey @Esperanza67 

That’s also another thing I have been struggling to do.. I miss so much for just leaving one period to see the school counsellor and with my kids helpline counsellor I haven’t been able to talk to much at all lately because I just don’t have time and she isn’t there every day. I do feel like it’s just becoming a bit to much for me to handle tho but every subject has assignments, assessments, tests and loads of homework because it’s coming close to a major report (being mid year) and they need stuff to grade off. I just can’t do it!