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Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

@Bananatime04 I'm back if you need to chat.

Also how was gymnastics?

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

@Bananatime04 Sorry I wasn't on last night, I've been going through a bit of a rough patch. How are you? 

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hey guys..
I just finished training and I’m home now..
Ok so this is part of what has happened today but there’s more that will be too triggering for me. So there’s this drama thing going on and one of the boys in my grade has been touching other girls in my grade and cropping their faces on inappropriate photos and spreading disgusting rumours and I’m so scared. Like I saw him walk past me and he got so close and I full on had to hold a panic attack in..
Then in media we have to make a film in groups and we have been planning it for ages and started filming today, my group wanted to use my phone because I have a really good camera and they took it and smashed the back! I’m so devastated 😩 I love my phone! Especially the back! I am so upset and have been all day and every small thing has been so triggering for me and everything irritates me!
Then I’ve just been thinking to myself today that who cares what would happen after I die.. I probably deserve it if it’s bad. I am safe right now it’s just what I’ve been thinking. About 20 minutes After my phone smashed i was asked by one person in my group what am I achieving this year and I was thinking about suicide at the time so I said dying.. I couldn’t help it so please don’t hate me. But their reaction was laughing so I’m positive no one would care.
Ok then there’s this other dude that likes me and he’s really nice and loving but I’m not interested in being in a relationship and he has a huge crush on me along with quite a few other people but everyone has been saying stuff about me and him but no.. just no! People come up to me and say “how’s fards” and stuff like that or to fards when I’m around “slip your slug in” and its just making school so miserable for me and I just don’t wanna go. If I die at least I won’t have school?? Just a thought I’m not actually going to.
Then on top of this I have been getting harassed at school but I’m not saying who by or any details because it’s pretty bad and then there’s naplan which is stressing me out so much!
There’s so much more but it’s just too much
@queenP @Tiny_leaf.. any advice? I really need it 😕

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Oh also my brother and his girlfriend broke up.. they were so perfect and I’m so sad! I’m really close to her and they even started building a house together! It’s over tho 😩😭

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

I actually legit don’t know how I am holding this all together.. I usually wouldn’t be safe with just one of those but I am! I am actually proud of myself for once

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

@Bananatime04 firstly, I don't hate you. Still think you're pretty great honestly.

 

I think that the person who laughed thought that you were joking. Unfortunately jokes about suicide are really common in high school; either as a cry for help or because the person making the joke just.. doesn't get it.

Besides, I'm pretty sure anyone in their right mind would care if you died.

I know that heaps of us on the forums would care.

 

About NAPLAN; eff it.

Do your best at it, but only put in as much energy as you can afford to.

Whatever score you get, it will be okay. If you have a choice between studying or self care, choose self care. And give yourself as much self care as you can. Seriously, you deserve it, especially with NAPLAN. NAPLAN sucks..

 

With the creepy gross dude, are you able to master the glare?

If he tries anything like that with you, give him a look that just says "I don't have time for this nonsense."

Their goal is to embarrass you, if they don't think it works they'll move on.

Try your best to be brave for a few seconds. Don't shy away from his words, if he touches you firmly (not painfully) grab his wrist and remove his hand, then drop it like it's a slimy piece of lettuce. 

For the best effect, channel Professor McGonnagle.

I know it sounds really stupid, but it works. Look at him like this:

Image result for professor mcgonagall gif

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Way to go @Bananatime04! You should be so proud of how you are coping, and I am so glad to hear that you are safe. 

 

That boy is being incredibly inappropriate and that is a really horrible thing that he is doing! Do you know him very well? If not, I wouldn't be too worried, I'd just stay away from him. 

 

I'm sorry that your phone got broken, that is so incredibly frustrating! Does the phone itself still work? 

 

As for the guy at school with a crush on you, I'm sorry to hear that people are making you feel uncomfortable. It can be a hard enough experience trying to let someone down easy, let alone when other people are butting in. Have you spoken to this boy about how he is feeling? Sometimes I think it is easier to just have one uncomfortable conversation and remain friends rather than letting other people mess you guys around. 

 

I'm sorry that you've been experiencing suicidal thoughts lately, they are pretty tough aren't they? I can assure you that people would definitely care if you weren't around. I know that I would miss you terribly. While I wasn't there, I think this person may have laughed because they weren't sure that you were serious or they didn't know how to process the information. Young people who don't have experience with mental health challenges often don't know how to cope with serious topics like dying and suicide, as they have no experience talking about these things. I hope you know that you are doing a fantastic job of coping at the moment, it sounds like there is a lot on your plate. Be proud of what you have been able to get through today! 

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

@Bananatime04 that's really hard...

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

I’m so grateful to have you guys.. seriously I love yous so much! You are so supportive and helpful! I really look up to you both
Thanks for your advice. It makes me so happy reading your posts because they’re always so helpful 😊
My phone still works btw.. it’s just smashed on the back and that’s my favourite part of it!
I’m so sorry but can we talk about these problems tomorrow? It’s still hard to talk about now cause it’s just happened.
Right now I need a distraction.. can you both help me with that?

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Sure can! 

 

What TV shows are you watching at the moment?