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Taken advantage by people i never thought they would when we got drunk


  • so im on my early 20s and not really the type of person to drink with just anyone. I was in a medical mission for a week. one night ago before my perpetual duty ends my senior invited me to have a drink and since i was bored and thought it would be okay so i agreed.
    i was with my senior (early 30s) and his co worker ( late 20s) they were both married and have kids so ithought they wouldnt do something to me that id feel safe with them. My senior and I are both doctors tho im just yet about to finished internship.I respect him and so i thought he would too.
    So we were drinking and it was like fun at first until i blacked out. I woke up in my senior's bed hugging him and he was touching me and trying to make me touch him. I knew what he was doing was so wrong but i was to drunk to protest. i eventually passed out and he left.
    Then after a while his co worker went to me and i could tell that he started kissing and touching me. the next thing i know is i woke up and he was spooning me and but i still have my clothes on except for my bra being undone and my zipper undone as well.
    I believed i wasnt raped but still violated. ( though i dont know exactly what happened on my "blacked out state").
    It was awkward the next day that i had to pretend i didnt remember anything.
    At work we were casual but my senior started texing me and flirting with me.
    i was so disappointed about myself and with them. I am in a relationship and my senipr knows that too. Also that was my first time to actually drink someone i just knew (met them 6 days before the drinking incident?) and i was confident that they wouldnt do anything bad cuz they are married.
    I am so bothered. I felt dirty and i felt like i cheated on my bf. I blame myself for actually thinking that id be safe with them. I felt stupid. it was just a good thing that i wont see them anymore hopefully i wont but my mind is still hunting me of what happened. I couldnt sleep well because of that bad memory Smiley Sad

Re: Taken advantage by people i never thought they would when we got drunk

Hi there @Ariamenes - I am so happy you found us here at ReachOut and thank you so much for sharing your story.  It must have taken real courage to do that,


I really hope that you can get some support and comfort from our amazing community members here - some of whom may be able to share some learnings from their own experiences if they feel comfortable with that.


I just wanted to say that we have sent you an email following up on some of the things you talked about in your post and it would be great if you could take a look at that as we have some included some information that might be helpful.


Thanks again 

Re: Taken advantage by people i never thought they would when we got drunk

Hey @Ariamenes,


Thank you for posting here and sharing your story with us. As @Nick-RO said, that must have taken a lot of courage. Heart


I'm sorry to hear that your senior colleague violated your trust and hurt you like that; it is not your fault at all and you did nothing wrong. It absolutely doesn't mean that you cheated on your boyfriend, and it doesn't make you dirty or mean you've done anything wrong. Your colleague did the wrong thing by taking advantage of the fact that you were drunk. 


When something like this happens, unfortunately it's pretty common for memories to crop up and make it hard to do daily things, like sleep. This phone line, 1800respect, might be helpful? They can chat to you and help you process what happened and help you find healthy ways of dealing with it. 


Sending empathy and solidarity your way Heart

Re: Taken advantage by people i never thought they would when we got drunk

Thank you for reaching out here, It sounds like you are feeling a little ashamed so it must have taken a lot of courage to tell your story. It can hurt so much when people violate our trust. It might be important for you to not place the blame on yourself because the other people involved are also responsible for what has happened. It is definitely not your fault and usually we like to give people the benefit of the doubt, it is only human nature to some of us Smiley Happy

I am wondering how you have been going since then? Have you had a chat to anyone else about this @Ariamenes?

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.
– Henry Ford

Re: Taken advantage by people i never thought they would when we got drunk

How are you doing @Ariamenes? We're here for you Heart