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Re: The End

@DruidChild@Taylor-RO@mrmusic@jess1600 Thank you all for caring I have been home from hospital for a few days now and I feel worse than ever I tried to end my life 3 times in one week on the ward and then I just lied to them and said I was fine and they were dumb enough to believe me but hospital was making things so much worse anyway and I am not going back to that disgusting place. The only reason I haven't tried to hurt myself again is I literally don't know how seeing as nothing seems to be working even though I have been trying I am running out of ideas as to what to try next but I am not telling anyone this time I am not even giving them a hint I will just be there one day and gone the next I have never been this suicidal in my life there is nothing left to help me I just need to try harder and eventually something will kill me. 

Re: The End

I'm so sorry to read that you're feeling like this @Eden1717. I've just sent you an email, if you could please take a look Heart

Re: The End

I'm hearing how painful life is for you right now @Eden1717. Thank you for being so open and honest with us here - I hope the email from the mods was helpful to you. 

I'm thinking of you and hope things improve for you soon, because I believe that they can. Heart

Re: The End

Hi @Eden1717.
It sucks hearing that you're still in this pain, and I wish I could reach out to you and just give you a hug and remove this pain you're going through right now. I strongly believe that you have the capability and willpower to overturn this situation.
Please update us soon on how your doing, stay safe. 💖

Re: The End

@Erin-RO@DruidChild@jess1600 thanks all of you for caring it means a lot....... I feel so awful i cant bare this anymore i am trying so so hard to make it to my next appointment but i know deep down it wont even help. nothing will this is hopeless 

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Re: The End

Hi @Eden1717,

Thank you for letting us know how you are going, I can hear how challenging things are right now Heart We care a lot for your wellbeing and want to support you to get to your next appointment. When is your next appointment?

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Check out our community activities calendar for October 2019 here

Re: The End

hey there @Eden1717 just checking in with how you are doing - seems like last night was a bit of a tough one for you!

Re: The End

@Jess1-RO @Sally-RO my next appointment is tomorrow but i am worried about what will happen after i am really not ok everything is so intense and i dont feel like i am part of this world i feel so on edge like i am about to fall even further and i just dont know what to do there is no where to go no where is safe nothing is safe except doing what the one in my head says i just have to not eat anymore it is hard to explain i just honestly feel so lost and out of control i know i need to be dead and that that is the only way left but i just dont know how nothing is working and i just need i cant do this i am trying i am but i dont think this world is for me. and i love them my family and pets and friends i do but everything hurts so much i just i cant do it and i am so scared of that hospital i cant go there again the flashbacks and nightmares wont stop i cant i really cant it is not ok there they hurt people there you arent even treated like a human there you are just this thing to them some crazy thing that needs to be kept quiet and sedated. i really cant do this. 

Re: The End

Hi @Eden1717. I've left a longer reply over on your new thread but I just wanted to add here a big thank you for your thanks below, it's very much appreciated Heart