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Re: The "adventure" continues

Hey @MemphisBelle, just wanted to check in. How's your weekend going?

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: The "adventure" continues


Its been very hot. Shopping trolleys are hard yacka but I have one of those machines which pushes 20 at a time. Some rude customers and old bullies


I found out about something called TMS..which is a brain stimulation for autism..I have some hope but people are telling me they wouldn't let me do it...I dont know why...its being researched and has had sucesses....I daydream if it worked for me....all the weird eccentric stuff gone. I would be a much calmer person. 


The NDIS is sadly a waiting game at the moment. 



Re: The "adventure" continues

hmm...that's interesting. I hadn't really heard of TMS being used as a treatment for autism before. From what I'm aware, it's more typically used to treat depression - although you've probably done more research than I have in the area. Science, and particularly medicine do tend to be pretty conservative though, so even a hundred studies might not be enough for the doctors to approve a new treatment. It can be frustrating, but well...for every form of helpful therapy it keeps us away from, it saves from ten other treatments that wouldn't work, and would actually make us worse instead. And without an extra couple hundred to a thousand rounds of testing, there's unfortunately just no way for us to be sure which is which.


All that being said - I know that the Black Dog Institute has a TMS clinic that you might want to look into. It's not subsidised despite requiring a GP or psychiatrist referral, so it's expensive as faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrkkk, but I don't think there'd be much harm in at least sending them an email to ask if TMS might be right for you. BDI's pretty on the up-and-up, and their TMS clinic is actually the top research clinic in the country in that area, so I'm sure there's a tonne of stuff they could tell you, even if you don't end up getting treatment from them. They also run research studies, so who knows - if things line up right, maybe they could put you on a research trial for TMS's effectiveness in treating autism.


(Although I would caution against getting your hopes up too high. The research is still "out" on whether TMS is effective, and this stuff is complicated - just because it might've worked for someone else, doesn't necessarily mean it'll work the same way for you. And even then, it probably won't be a massive switch that changes everything instantly. As always, recovery is a process. It takes time.)


You can find a link to their TMS clinic here: BDI neurostimulation clinic. Or email them directly at:


Re: The "adventure" continues

I’m so glad you had an amazing time @MemphisBelle!
That’s part of why I love going to those kind of things or nerdy conventions because I feel like I’m not being judged and I can let my nerd knowledge shine!
I also thought Last Jedi was an awesome movie! I love the Porgs (I think that’s what they’re called haha)

I’m also really glad to hear that work got fixed up and that your new manager is nicer than your old one Smiley Happy

Re: The "adventure" continues


I thought Last Jedi rocked as well, I think I still like Rogue One better for a lot of reasons.


I work around Christmas and I'm not looking forward to it, I know it won't be pretty.


I can't stop thinking about UNI



Re: The "adventure" continues

I have to agree with you too, there were some parts in Last Jedi that I thought 'Whaaaaat?' I wish I could get into it here but I don't want to give spoilers away! But I'll just say one Leia scene and one Snoke scene.
I really really liked Rogue One, I loved the ninja/samurai-esque characters they were so cool!

Good luck Smiley Sad Work during Christmas can be quite stressful, please take care of yourself in the meantime.

What's on your mind about it?

Re: The "adventure" continues



I'm having one of those days where I think back about me. The people who know me now....what were the impressions the very first time they saw me? What would their lives be like if they never met me? Would they be happier?


January 2017 was a massive month for me....I saw Rogue One and my favourite movie Chalet Girl..which kinda put me back on the track to wanting to be a filmmaker again for weird reasons, I went on a holiday to this beautiful forest resort not far from Mt Kosciuszko and Mt makes me was one of the happiest times ever and if I only I knew that a few months later I would get a metaphorical sledgehammer to the gut.


I feel embarrassed and ashamed about who I am, the things I've done and what I do....I'm sorry to write such long stuff and go over the same thing...but these thoughts are with me constantly everyday. I feel insane for wanting to and going back to UNI...should I even be doing so? Do I belong?....all the time these thoughts won't leave.




Re: The "adventure" continues

Sounds like you have a lot on your mind @MemphisBelle
It's really tricky because it's easy for our minds to go back and think of the past and the 'what ifs'. It's one of my habits too. The most important thing though is to think of the present and what makes you happy because essentially 'the past is the past'. We all have our own journeys, you're going through yours. We all became self-aware from what we go through in life. You seem to be a very kind and thoughtful person @MemphisBelle! It's really important to remind yourself how awesome you are!

That was a big month for you! (I really want to watch Chalet Girl now). I'm so glad you had an amazing time, but also sorry that you went through something tough afterwards. Would you ever go back to that forest resort again?

We all have our own battles and things that we fight with constantly, please don't apologise for bringing it up! This is a recovery process and it will take time and thought to work through things. Let's talk about some positives that might happen from uni! What are you going to study? What things do you have on your mind about it?

Re: The "adventure" continues


If I ever got my own car, I would totally drive back there. It was a place called Talbingo and I get positive vibes thinking about it. After how crappy 2016 was, it felt like a reward at the time.


I was going to go into Acting at UNI this year, but acting is very hard to make a career out of and I don't think I would be able to do it. So I took a gap year and will be returning to TV Production.

I feel rather embarrassed as I put myself through a lot of stress and confusion over it, I had dreams and goals but I was all like "Nah I need to master pushing shopping carts" first as I came close to quitting my Job in December..but as mentioned the manager I was having trouble with left and the new manager started and was much nicer.


Last time at UNI, I didn't' cope was one of those situations where he lecturers encouraged us to talk about ourselves....I couldn't do that and they saying I should take up being the editor on the programs (basically...within this UNI course students are tasked with being a crew for the UNI course's TV studio and will livestream ANZAC Day marches and football games)


I'm hoping if I get NDIS approval, then the NDIS can talk to them and basically have a setup that satisfies everyone involved 





Re: The "adventure" continues

Sounds like it's a really special place for you @MemphisBelle! It's lucky you've found somewhere like that.
Does TV Production interest you? It sounds like it would be a fascinating career!
Please don't feel embarrassed! A lot of us go through times where we have to contemplate what we want! I go through these moments a lot. I'm really glad that your new manager is nice. Atleast now you have an idea of what you'd like to do which is really really good! It's better than spending a lot of time doing something you didn't want to do. You've taken the time to think about it!
Ah yes I don't cope well either when we have to talk about ourselves Smiley Sad
How do you feel about being the editor on the programs?

I'm so sorry I have to admit that I don't personally know how NDIS works but hopefully they will have advice on the uni situation!