Hi,
I'm sorry about everything you've been going through, both then and now. I'm thankful that you still made it through difficult times and have the courage to open up somewhere I hope you feel comfortable in!
I guess I'm replying mostly because I feel like you're just like me, and I feel like I've never found someone just like me. Like literally, every sentence in your last two paragraphs is exactly me. I'm constantly nervous, socially inept, overthink, people complain that I apologize too much, and I play video games late at night too much to distract myself from dark thoughts, every word. I even made a post on this website because I felt like I had nowhere else to go. Perhaps not the same, I guess the only difference is that, though I have a supportive family, I guess I isolated myself from having friends simply because I thought I was an outcast diagnosed with autism until I entered high school (which was a false diagnosis that I didn't learn about until after I graduated). I feel like my anxiety has followed me into my mannerisms and my self-image. Honestly, I feel incredibly relieved about finding your post, knowing I'm not the only one like this.
I know this isn't about me but, if you're like me who felt like they're the only one, you're not alone.
Seriously, thank you for sharing your experience...
I think it's really comforting to know there are people just like us and it was powerful for you to share that. I can sense by reading your comment that you identified some heavy emotions that I'm sure many people would also relate to. 
