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Things getting so bad I physically feel sick

This may be hard to understand if you haven't read my previous forms but my anxiety is acting up again, really really badly. The guy I love, the one I struggle to be away from without suffering some form of seperation anxiety has been really friendly and understanding since I told him about my anxiety and intrusive thoughts, but lately he rarely talks to me and when he does its short answers and little to no effort at conversation, like he used to be years ago. For the first time in months I had a really bad intrusive thought last Wednesday and for the first time in a year, that came with a panic attack. It's been 4 days and I still feel anxious as well as depressed to the point where I feel like vomiting and I'm struggling to hide it, my dads starting to tell something isn't right. When I'm anxious I get clingy to, and I hate it but it is the only thing that cheers me up, one if the old stuff work anymore. Part of me wants to tell him I'm seriously not ok and need him right now but another part of me hates how needy that makes me look and the stress that must put on him. Help, please please help I'm really, really not coping.

Re: Things getting so bad I physically feel sick

Hey @KjStormy, sorry to hear your anxiety has been playing up lately. Panic attacks are never fun Smiley Sad

If your friend was supportive and understanding last time you opened up to him, it sounds likely that he will be there for you now too. If he doesn't see you very frequently, chances are he doesn't know you've been struggling recently. It actually takes a lot of strength and courage to speak up when you don't feel ok, it's definitely not a sign of weakness or neediness.

 

Remind me, are you seeing a counsellor or a psychologist about your anxiety, or have your spoken to anyone regarding your attachment to this friend? Anxiety is really crummy, but there are some really effective treatments and ways to manage it. Talking a mental health professional is a good first step towards a healthier relationship with your friend.

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Re: Things getting so bad I physically feel sick

Hi @ElleBelle, I have my mentor but she honestly doesn't know what to do. I struggle with counsellors because in the passed they have judged me and have said to just cut contact with him and move on, but cutting contact is when it got really bad in the first place. My parents we also very judgemental about my feelings towards him and they would want to know why I have to see a counsellor as they would have to pay for it

Re: Things getting so bad I physically feel sick

It is a complicated situation @KjStormy, and I understand that some people may not be equipped to help you. I'm sorry to hear you have felt judged by counsellors in the past, that's really not cool. I do want to say though, that if you are over 16 you can apply for your own Medicare card, if you don't have one already. Once you have a Medicare card you can make an appointment with a GP, and they can get you started with a mental health plan which entitles you to 10 free sessions with a psychologist or other mental health professional. That at least removes the obstacle of your parents having to pay for it, whether you choose to tell them you are seeing a psychologist is completely up to you.

Re: Things getting so bad I physically feel sick

Hey @KjStormy 

I know it might seem like your being needy to let this guy know how your feeling but I think finding out an answer to why he is being distant could really help with your anxiety, there could be so many reasons why someone is being distant, he could have some tough stuff he is going through himself and might appreciate you reaching out to him. I agree with @ElleBelle that based on past experiences he seems to be a thoughtful and helpful friend to you so i'd really encourage you to talk to him openly and honestly about how your feeling. 

 

 It sucks that you've had some bad experiences with counsellors, there are so many different types of people who work as counsellors each one has their own understanding and way of approaching things that may not be helpful for you. I would suggest getting into contact with a psychologist as they can help you learn some strategies to help when you are anxious/having a panic attack, but again the first one might not be the right fit for you.

 

Keep trying and I hope things get better for you soon, let us know how you are going Smiley Happy

If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes
- Andrew Solomon