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Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

Everything is affecting me more than I thought it would or was, everything atm is a bit overwhelming. Can't talk to counselor at khl for some reason probably doesn't want to talk to me,like most people. I'm feeling numb my body at least, I'm walking small laps around this small park thing idk fuck.i feel like I can't tell anyone anything, I can't trust everything. Everyone leaves me this is fucked, I'm so confused how I feel right mixture of anger and sadness I can't decide

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

Fuck these clouds

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

It's not that I feel unstoppable right now I just don't fear anything, I don't care if anything happens right now . I think I can do anything and I don't care about the consequences

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

@Pasta that sounds really difficult..

Are you safe at the moment?

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

@Tiny_leaf @I'm safe, I've been walking laps of my block for the past 45 mins trying to distract myself from everything I gues

 

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

@Pasta has it helped do you think?

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

@Tiny_leaf I think so idk I had my music all the way up I couldn't hear anything, I wouldn't say I'm feeling better but I'm feeling more stable I guess idk not angry. I haven't been angry, especially like that in ages, atleast a year. I'm home now don't know if they heard me leave or come back and I honestly don't care a

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Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

@Pasta I think I know the feeling..

 

Anger can be really draining if you haven't really felt it for a while...

Is there anything you can do to look after yourself?

 

Also would you like to talk about anything?

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

@Tiny_leaf I'm in bed now but going to sleep isn't going to be easy aha. Slept most of the afternoon earlier, but I feel exhausted from all that before.

I can hardly remember what I was thinking before, when I was walking I was just thinking what am I doing right now, what am I doing in general with life I guess, purpose. First I called asked if the person was there they said yes and then not long afterwards said they're not available atm, they asked if they could help and I just said I don't know but it mustn't have been very loud cause they said the can't hear anyone so I hung up. I don't know if they want to talk to me

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

@Pasta sorry about how long I took, my computer doesn't like working...

That sounds really difficult... do you think using a webchat type format might be easier for you or no?

I don't know exactly who "they" are sorry (would I be right in saying that it's your regular phone counselor?).. but I genuinely don't see why they wouldn't want to talk to you.

If it is your phone counselor, it can be good to remember that often services are underfunded and understaffed. Like, I've heard from a fair few people that they've struggled to connect with their normal counselor. I know that it doesn't change whether or not you were able to speak with them, but it does mean that they probably aren't avoiding you in any way.