cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

Hey @Pasta 

 

I just wanted to introduce myself because we haven't crossed paths on the forums yet! I've read over your thread and just wanted to say how glad I am that you found ReachOut Heart It can be so hard when a friendship breaks down unexpectedly - especially if you have romantic feelings for them as well. 

 

It's very normal to want some closure, even if it's just them telling you they don't want to talk. I hope that they get back to you - either way know that we are all here for you to chat to Heart 

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

@Bre-RO hey, I guess I came here to vent, somewhere to put my thoughts into words and out of my head and instead got support from amazing community Smiley Happy

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

I feel emptyness within me, who am I truly? What am I going to do when I leave school? What do I want to do or become? I have no idea. I feel scared, once I leave everyone will leave too, leave me, forgot who I am. Nobody asks me to go out with them now so the future is some what predictable already. What about purpose? What am I meant to do? Why am I here? I feel like I want to get away from this place including everyone and everything but then I will be lonely as I am now. I feel disconnected from my self and others, is this my fault?

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

I know from personal experience that what you are feeling is entirely normal @Pasta . I was so scared to finish high school. I would find any excuse to go back to the school. And I did - I ended up volunteering so that I could have that familiarity. Transitioning out of high school is a huge milestone and you don't need to have all the answers. I'm 5/6 years out and my boyfriend still doesn't know what he's doing and we're 24. 

 

I'm different in the sense that I knew what i wanted to do...but similar in the sense of feeling so alone. I went through a major relationship break up at the end of year 12 and lost all my friends as a result. I wasn't a kind person and flew off the rails. Got into alcohol...even drugs at one point.  It wasn't a good time for me. 

 

But what turned it around i guess was going to new things - sport and uni helped me to find new friends and you will meet lots of people in similar situations. If you don't know what you want to do then choose something that interests you, even if it is just a hobby and try that. Even if it is tafe or uni or a job somewhere - you will meet people and form new social groups. 

 

I'm so sorry you feel so alone and empty. Leaving high school is scary. I cried so much. It's understandable though. <3 

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

I was looking into the adf as they have trades within the defence force but I think it's a minimum service of six years and I don't know sounds like a very long time to me. I would also need to have a psychological test or something to be accepted which is also another reason I don't want to go to a doctor as it will completely shut down the option of doing that. I have some ideas of what I want to do but nothing really is promising as I would love to do some sort of career within media like videography but there is little work in the industry, especially in wa. @mspaceK 

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

Those sound like really great avenues to head towards @Pasta and some really good goals in mind. I suppose you'll never know until you try. 

 

I personally really like performing / dancing and acting but to make a career out of those is tricky so I have a job that I fall back on and do the others as a hobby. 

 

I think it is important to strive towards what you enjoy and love because it will keep you motivated. 

 

Sorry if I disappear for a bit - I'm just napping in bed. 

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

@mspaceK that's okay if you disappear for a bit aha. I also really enjoy photography but there isn't really anything to my knowledge that I can get a steady income from so not really something I can do I guess.

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

Thanks @Pasta . It's good just to nap for a bit. 

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

Can't even begin to explain myself but I'm feeling pretty sad and lonely, I'm pretending to be someone I'm not and putting on this fake smile's exhausting. How much longer must this all go on, I don't know if I can take it, all this pain and suffering, how could someone fake it? I feel a loss of identity and wonder who I am truly. (Dw I'm safe)

Re: Think I might be suffering from borderline personality disorder

I often wonder if I can do this alone, I always seem to rely on others and tend to always get let down. I feel I need to be more independent but being alone is breaking me mentally and physically. Back to school tomorrow, three more weeks in total and it will all be over. I feel some what lost, not knowing who I am, wish someone would just care for me as much as I do for them, entrust them with everything but I can't. I feel I really just need a hug but no one would know that as I appear to be fine, I know I'm not.