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Re: Time to end it or keep going

I cant do it. Today we were formally awarded house captains, which i knew would set him off because hes jealous. He looked so sour and grim during the ceremony so i avoided his face in the crowd. When we did a house activity he didnt participate and just sat on the sidelines looking grumpy.so i avoided him the rest of the day. I just cant be thinking about and supportinf him right now. Over text hes sent me all these complaining messages saying its not fair, that Nina didnt deserve it and it was a mistake not to give it to him. I have just gotten sick of him winging at me a week before my exam..so ive told him to f*** off tonight. I dont want to start a fight but hes driving me crazy. I cant stand him. I just wish he would snap out of this and realise its not the time to bring this up, and that loafing around blaming everyone for not getting house captain isnt going to get him anywhere.
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Re: Time to end it or keep going

I can tell this has been tough for you! But, like you have been, keep your own thoughts and feelings in mind. Especially on the lead up to your exam, you need to make you are as stress-free as possible and if what you need is some space and time, you should feel comfortable enough to request this. I think you have done the right thing by not getting too caught up in others feelings but remember to keep looking after yourself. It's not your job to make sure everyone else feels content (especially not before you do first!)
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Re: Time to end it or keep going

Hey @tashmcl firstly all the best for your exams have you checked out our fact sheets on how to beat exam stress, you may find some helpful tips.

In terms of your relationship it sounds like you have made the right decision with ending it after school ends, he doesn't sound worth your time. Any guy that acts that immature needs to grow up and just face the facts he wasn't made house captain and while he can't change that but he can change his behaviour.

You are probably sick of hearing this but you are so young and high school relationships rarely last, once you get to uni you are bound to find someone better suited to you.

Well done on holding a job for 2 years combined with doing your ATAR you must be really busy and focused on your future. Have you worked out what you want to study at uni?

Hope things improve soon, and remember to just keep swimming studying!

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Whatever it takes I know I can make it through!
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Re: Time to end it or keep going

Haha yes I have just done year 12 health and absolutely loved it..also my parents are both nurses so ive been inspired in health since day dot. But health class really has made me confident in pursuing a career in nutrition. Iwant to do my masters of dietetics, so i can either be a dietician, nutritionalist, in hospitals of work with companies, manufacturers or aid programs..but definitely nutrition.
I am feeling quite certain now that its best to end it, its just about keeping him off my back for this next week. He keeps messaging me after school wanting to talk about us and so ive had to block his fb messenger and his phone. Hes hasnt understood that i dont want any drama for 1 WEEK..and its made me so frustrated because he keeps undermining the importance of this exam to me.. how hard ive worked and this exam matches my whole years worth of marks so i need to work hard. Its really dissappointed me that he hasnt respected my wish to concentrate and him to not bring anything up until afterwards. He keeps putting his little feelings first and so i have given up. Im just not talking to him at all
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Re: Time to end it or keep going

@tashmcl nutrition sounds like a great career and there are so many different jobs you can do! My home ec teacher in high school actually first studied nutrition and she worked with coma patients making sure they got the correct nutirents they needed before becoming a teacher and it sounded interesting Smiley Very Happy

Just keep staying focused on your exams and don't let him get in the way of your marks, at the end of the day its your future not his.

Maybe you get a mutral friend to sit down to him how you feel and at the moment you don't need/want any distractions? It sounds like he doesn't want to see the truth.

All the best for your exam let us know how you go Cat Happy

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Whatever it takes I know I can make it through!
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Re: Time to end it or keep going

Hey guys, just a follow up. So I left my ex almost 4 weeks ago after exams and could not be happier. I thought this was going to be tough, after dating almost 14 months. but really, I realize how much I needed this. I've started a new routine at the gym and actually lost some weight, and eating clean. I've made new friends at work, and a gym buddy I want to talk about in a minute. I've told my ex I do want to be friends when he gets over me, which he needs to take time away from me to do. it's school holidays now so he had 8 weeks before he needs to see me again. so far, I did have about a week of feeling lost and lonely, but have made some amazing new friendships to fill that void. he actually immediately looked very happy in the first week, surprised, it still confirmed I made the right choice. He has messaged me out of the blue a few times, despite me telling him he needs to take some time away from me to be happy without me, but I've been polite and tried to re-emphasize the point. I do want to be his friend and support him, but he needs to learn to walk on his own two feet without leaning on me too much the way he did in our relationship. But for me, I actually don't miss him, and it never crossed my mind of going back. I am very very happy now, and feel like I can finally achieve the things I want, and not feel weighed down by someone else who didn't have he same ambitions for personal growth

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Re: Time to end it or keep going

Now, adding onto the gym buddy I've made. I haven't met him recently, I actually met him a few months ago In the gym and we had talked on Facebook. I remember when I was still dating my ex, I had met this guy who had a job, took an interest in taking care of himself by keeping fit and healthy, and who had been in a long-term relationship himself. at the time, he wasn't over his ex girlfriend, and I was starting to have issues with my ex boyfriend. there was a click, a small attraction, so I had stopped talking to him out of loyalty to my ex, as i didn't like the thoughts he was bringing out inside me from a place I didn't understand.
Now, I ran into him again about a week and a half ago, he said he has been going really well and is over his ex, and I had said I've finally come out of my relationship after quite a miserable few months, and have started working really hard at the gym again. So we decided to meet one afternoon, just to say hello again. I'd explained to him that id stopped talking to him a few months ago because I had felt a small attraction, that I didn't want to feel as I was loyal to my boyfriend. He understood completely, and apologised for anything he did to bring on that feeling. we got talking about our work, school, our ex's and all kinds of subjects and it turned into an hour long conversation for what was meant to be ten minutes. I remember he was very tall, and quite attractive, despite his sweaty appearance as he had just come from the gym. I felt really happy talking to him, and he said I looked really beautiful and actually kissed me after asking if it was ok to.
a few days later I got a text asking if I wanted to meet up for lunch and hang out. I went along, and noticed we talked for hours on end, about hobbies, our new gym routines, he explained in more detail about his job, his parents, I felt really comnected to him on a level I felt like we were both contributing to as perfectly capable, independent individuals getting to know each other. He told me about his friends, and really seemed to open up to me..which got me thinking this might not be a fling, he might actually be someone I could potentially date in the future. He kissed me again, I could tell he was out of practice but it was sweet, and he even wanted to introduce himself to my parents which seemed to go well..only as a casual basis as we aren't dating. after my birthday, about two days later he wanted to take me out to a cafe for lunch, so yesterday we went to this little cafe and sat at a table downstairs and enjoyed lunch together. I could tell he had put cologne on, and we had talked a little over 45 minutes before he said he liked me, but would wait until I'm ready before asking for anything serious as he respected I've just come out of a relationship. we finished lunch, which through argument I let him pay for, then we went shopping and I bought myself a new sports bra before he drove us to the gym and I hit the cardio which was part of my new routine to lose some weight over the holidays. after that we cooled down in a park, under a tree with some water and he drove me home. Today I have a meeting with my trainer to officially adjust my routine (as I've got a spinal injury I need specific exercises for, that the physio and chiropractor have asked me to do), then he wants to pick me up and take me out for sushi and a swim as it's very hot weather. I really think I like this guy, a lot. I've got these small defence mechanisms worried he's just wanted sex and he will leave, but I don't think he is from how he's been acting. I am still cautious as I'm just starting year 12, a year I can't afford to have emotional fluctuations in that could affect my grades, and I know if we started dating anytime soon I'd get a lot of criticism for 'moving on too fast'. it's weird, cos I never ever thought I'd like someone this quickly, but to be honest, I feel completely over my ex and happy to see this new opportunity. I have been miserable with my ex for months, and we had been dragging it out until after exams..so I have felt alone for much longer than the official breakup date. But I still want to give myself time to settle in and pick my life up again, continue these new goals before depending on someone else again. What do you guys think? is this a rebound or potentially someone I might be able to work with when I'm ready to commit?
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Re: Time to end it or keep going

Hey @tashmcl

 

Thanks for updating us on what ended up happening. I've just had to edit your post to comply with the community guidelines  as the mentioning of specific weight may bring on negative emotions for some people.

 

I think it is great that things are going well for you at the moment and you are happier without your ex.

 

I'm no relationship expert, but I do want to say that only you know if it is too soon or not to move on. As for starting a new relationship, why not have a look at our factsheet on choosing to have one.

 

I completely understand your concern about being in yr 12 next year, so perhaps if you do decide, it would be worthwhile having a discussion on expectations.

 

Let us know how things go,

 

stonepixie


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ