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Too much for a seventeen year old!

Hi.
My life is a complete mess and I don'y know whay to do about it.
I'm tired lonely and lost.
My dad died five years ago and my mom is making my life hell .
She just doesn't understand what I'm going through and my feelings and to be honest I don't understand what I'm feeling.
I don't even know how to put it into words .
All I know that my life has been hell since the day Dad left, I have no friends, my grades are getting worse by the day and I hate myself for being such a mess.

Re: Too much for a seventeen year old!

Hey @Mistakes,

That is alot to go through at such a young age. Have you ever thought about seeking professional support? I might be beneficial to talk to a counsellor or psycholgist about how you are feeling.

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Re: Too much for a seventeen year old!

HI @Mistakes

 

It sounds like you have a lot going on. Maybe something that could be tried first is making sens of the emotions that you feel. Is there any way you can seperate them? maybe youre feeling confused, sad, angry... etc.

 

I know this is a bit silly to say, but I am sure your mom is trying her best to understand you. It is hard for someone to know exactly what you are thikning, so maybe with some help, you can explain to her exactly what you are feeling and how she might be able to help you. I know for me, I thought my mum just didnt understand me. She didnt know what i was talking about, and she certainly didnt understand what i was going through. With some help from a counsellor, I was able to sort of understand things through what she might be seeing about me, without me telling her what i felt. WE then worked together so that i could approach her and tell her what she was doing that was making me feel uncomfortable and then we spoke about what i wanted her to be doing for me, as in her responses and the way she spoke to me. OUr relationship now is so much better.

 

YOu sound like you are really stuck at the moment. Have you thought about seeing someone? Maybe KHL, eheadspace for starters?

I can recommend both, especially if youre not sure where to start.

 

 

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Don't wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect!

Re: Too much for a seventeen year old!

Hi. Thank you so much for taking time time to read about my problems and suggest solutions for me I really appreciate it.
I never considered going to counselling before.
Partly becausey my mother refused to admit I have problems in the first place. She thought I behave the way I do because I'm a weird child like she said to me once, she also thought I was just seeking attention or that I want to stand out. She always tells that I'm a messed up girl , that I'm weird and even crazy.
I never wanted anything more than someone to talk to because I feel lonely and lost.
My dad died when I was twelve years old . It was a big shock to me, I was so close to my dad but when he left me with mom my whole life went out of control.
Mom had to deal with a lot of things after his death and I understood that but she neglected me completely.
Our bad relationship got only worse with time.
Sometimes I just want her to look at me. Just a look but she never does.

The other reason why I didn't turn to counseling is because of my family's financial situation.
Suffice to say that my dad was our breadwinner and things were rough after his death.
I didn't want to make things worse for mom so I just locked myself up and pretended like nothing happened
And that's why I'm here in the first place because counselling is exactly an option for me.

Re: Too much for a seventeen year old!

Hey @Mistakes, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that difficult time, losing your dad and your tricky relationship with your mum.

I just want to reassure you that there's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling the way you do, or with needing or wanting professional help. It does NOT make you weird or crazy at all, no matter what anyone else says.

 

I also wanted to double check you're in Australia? If so, there's some services you might be able to access with relative ease. Kids Helpline, for example, is a phone service for young people, and you can reach them on 1800 55 1800.

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Too much for a seventeen year old!

Hey, @letitgo .
Thank you so much for the kind words. I truly appreciate it and I think I'm going to seek some professional help no matter what people say about me.
And I'm not Australian. In fact I'm halfway across the world. I live in Tunisia ( Don't know if you heard of it before ) but thank you for your support. I really appreciate it .

Re: Too much for a seventeen year old!

Hey @Mistakes just wanted to jump in and say thank you for sharing your story with us. It takes a lot of strength to take steps towards seeking help, and good on you for making the decision to look after yourself and seek professional help. Best of luck seeking support services in Tunisia!

Re: Too much for a seventeen year old!

Hello @Mistakes,

 

Well, one thing that helps me sort out any unsure feelings is writing in a journal. Basically, just pick up a pen and write. As you monitor the entries, you will see common words or feelings that arises. From then, you can figure out how to best address this.

 

You could also take up some physical activities like going running to clear your mind. Exercise lifts your mood and therefore improves your mental health. Meditation is good for clearing your thoughts, reflecting and making informed decisions. 

 

You will also need to sit and talk thoroughly with your mother and explain to her how you feel. Get her to tell you about her side and see if you can come to some mutual understanding. Talk calmly, patiently, and do not caste blame. Listen carefully and respectively even if you do not agree. That will go a long way.

 

The reason you feel lonely is perhaps you have not met people you can relate to. Try joining a cause that resonates with you, something you are passionate about or interested in, that way you will meet like-minded people to foster relationships with. It might be scary to put yourself out there, but the rewards are worth it.

 

Good luck!

 

Winter Rain.