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Re: TW Trans/Non-Binary and Plural Stuff

[R] @Tiny_leaf Yes please, I think those could be useful.

Re: TW Trans/Non-Binary and Plural Stuff

@SomeoneNADJS 

 

Here's the self harm alternatives thread:

https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Getting-Help/Self-harm-coping-strategies-and-alternatives/m-p/3536...

I'd also recommend learning first aid, especially if you have any injuries from the way you were self harming. It's probably also worth checking in with a gp who can double check everything's alright and give you some steps to take if you do it again so that you're all safe.

 

And here's the stimming thread: 

https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Everyday-life-stuff/Stimming/m-p/358690#M31467

Stimming is basically a sensory regulation thing. (And also heaps of fun)

Stim toys are also a really good thing to have in a self care box if you're interested in making one of them.

Re: TW Trans/Non-Binary and Plural Stuff

[R] @Tiny_leaf Thanks for those! I’ve had a read through.

 

I was able to go to school yesterday and today. Yesterday was alright, except for the first time I forgot a KHL appointment, but I’ve since reorganised that. We haven’t been following the switching schedule we drafted, but today we had our first switch at school. We were in design & technology, and I was bored, so D read some of the textbook as revision. He was a lot more interested than I was, so that’s good.

 

Haven’t been great this evening. I had a whole bunch of homework to do but I just couldn’t because I had an appointment (unrelated to the trans stuff), but when I got home I was working slowly and didn’t finish the majority of it because I was feeling dysphoric and suicidal again.

 

Tbh, I’m not really looking forward to tomorrow (again). And another thing that sucks is that I feel like a horrible person for self-harming and wanting to die when my body is shared property with five other people. No one’s been angry with me for what I’ve done to self-harm in the past, but their reactions have ranged from sympathetic to worried to just trying to ignore it. I don’t want to kill any of them, just me, and they don’t want to die. I’m worried that one day I will just kill us all. I feel like I’m a pathetic excuse for a systemmate because of that.

 

I’m safe right now, but still not feeling great.

Re: TW Trans/Non-Binary and Plural Stuff

Hi @SomeoneNADJS 

 

I'll respond properly/ fully in a bit, just want to let you know that the thing with the laptop bag might be against the guidelines..

 

Also, might it be good to leave the room that it's in?

Re: TW Trans/Non-Binary and Plural Stuff

[R] @Tiny_leaf In case it was, I edited it out of my post. It’s in another room, so I can’t get it.

Re: TW Trans/Non-Binary and Plural Stuff

@SomeoneNADJS 

 

That's cool, and I'm glad D found it interesting! Do you know if D would like to do that in future lessons?

 

R, can I suggest that you talk to your systemmates about how they could help support you?

Even if it's just switching control with someone before you self harm so that you've got some space to be upset without putting yourself or your systemmates at risk.

Re: TW Trans/Non-Binary and Plural Stuff

[R] @Tiny_leaf That might be a good idea. There’s only this term left for us to do it since we’re dropping the subject.

 

We’ll have to have some discussions about that. Might start discussing now before I go to sleep just in case.

Re: TW Trans/Non-Binary and Plural Stuff

@SomeoneNADJS hopefully you can get something worked out between you.

Re: TW Trans/Non-Binary and Plural Stuff

Hey @SomeoneNADJS 

 

I can sense the pain in your post. It must be so hard for you to feel like you're not doing well as a systemmate. From where I stand I can see that you are all trying really hard to balance a lot and doing a damn good job of it. Even though you're feeling some heavy emotions, you are doing all you can to navigate your way through this. That strength is not to be taken lightly Heart 

 

You seemed to be in high distress last night. How are you feeling today? Heart 

 

We are thinking of you all during this really difficult time. 

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Re: TW Trans/Non-Binary and Plural Stuff

[R] @Tiny_leaf We’ve come to an agreement that someone else should try to switch in if I don’t feel I can keep myself safe. Everyone except S is okay with this. Still kind of worried about hir, but I think ze and I need a bit more one-on-one time. Or maybe if I can get hir chatting online with someone else tonight, maybe ze might like that. Anyway, the important bit is we have a plan, now we just need to make sure we stick to it.

 

@Bre-RO Thank you. I’m feeling a bit better today, but this morning and lunchtime were low points for me.

 

This morning I just managed to get through it on my own, and at lunchtime I just sat down and dissociated for a bit (intentionally), and kind of just sat there. A friend even poured water on my head and I barely reacted. I’d said I was tired earlier, so no one was really suspicious. I don’t remember much of it. Maybe I switched out and just no one was there? I don’t know to be honest.

 

Last night wasn’t great. I won’t elaborate, because I don’t want to keep the triggering stuff to a limit, and because I don’t want to violate the guidelines unintentionally again.

 

Thank you for thinking of us. We’re moving forward to where we all want to be, and the other day we also got an appointment in about a month with a counsellor who specialises in gender identity. We haven’t talked about it as a system, but I’m assuming that it’s going to work as per usual and I’ll handle the appointment side of things.