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Re: Trauma from psychosis?

Hey @Tiny_leaf  , processing memories and trauma is something that everyone does differently - and as @letitgo  said, laughing (even if you don't mind the memory amusing or funny) can be a coping strategy - even  if you don't mean to do it. 

 

I don't know if you've ever experienced the strange urge to smile or laugh when telling someone something terrible that has happened  - It has happened to me before, and I understood it as a diffusion strategy my brain was using to help me to get through what I needed to say. 
The brain is an odd machine - but is doing its best to help us cope and get through life's tough circumstances. 

 

I think similarly, laughing at memories you find upsetting, could very well be a coping strategy your brain is using. This would be a great thing to talk through with a counselor or psychologist though, - they could give you strategies to safely process these memories, and better understand what's happening for you. 

Heart

 

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Re: Trauma from psychosis?

@gina-RO thank you. I'm currently trying to find one....

 

 

Part of the problem is that the memories are way too graphic to share with anyone. No one actually knows what I've seen. I can't even talk about the memories. They just keep replaying inside my head with no way to get out.

I've tried writing them down somewhere safe but some of the memories are too bad to even put into words. No one seems to share this stupid problem which is good but at the same time incredibly lonely.

Re: Trauma from psychosis?

@Tiny_leaf *hugs* I know how hard it can be to find a psychologist that you 'click' with. I hope that you find someone that's right for you soon.

 

In my experience, putting things into words can be hard at the best of times. It sounds like you're feeling trapped with these memories, is that right? This sounds so hard, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Heart Just remember that you can talk with helplines about things like this as well if you need to.

Re: Trauma from psychosis?

@mrmusic thank you.

 

And yeah, I definitely feel trapped.

The problem with helplines is that most general mental health ones focus more on stuff like depression, anxiety and self harm and get a bit lost with anything more complicated.

The trauma focused ones only really help with trauma from an actual event, and they get a bit distant when I mention anything to do with psychosis/ hallucinations... 

Re: Trauma from psychosis?

Hi @Tiny_leaf 

There does seem to be a bit of gap in helplines and dealing with more serious mental illnesses, but it's good that you recognise this and are aware of it. I do think helplines are slowly improving with how they handle more challenging diagnosis but it's hard when you need the help and support now.

Have you thought about writing to the services explaining the issues you deal with and maybe offering some suggestions on how to they could help people like you? The only way they will get better is if more speak up about the gaps in the services and ask them to improve their services. 

I know this won't fix anything at the moment but it might help those who are going through similar situations in the future. 

 

Have you thought about writing or even drawing down what you experience with pyschosis? I know you mentioned above that you don't know how to explain to people what you see in your head but maybe just writing it down for yourself could help you process it better? It doesn't have to make any sense but I know that I find writing down my thoughts and feelings help me process them better.

 

You are doing an amazing job and it's great to see you being so proactive Smiley Happy 

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Whatever it takes I know I can make it through!

Re: Trauma from psychosis?

Hi @ErinsAntics 

I can write out most of my experiences, the thing is I can't actually show anyone what I've written because of how gory the hallucinations could get. It wouldn't be fair to put those pictures in someone's head, but it means that there's no one I can really talk to about the memories that bother me most.

 

And I think I've given feedback a couple of times, but I don't have the energy to figure out a formal letter..

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Re: Trauma from psychosis?

Hey @Tiny_leaf 

Feedback doesn't have to be a formal letter it can be a simple comment or something along those lines.

I wouldn't expect you to show the drawings or what you have written down to people until you were 110% certain it was what you wanted to do, but sometimes it helps just having it somewhere other than only in your head. You could write it all down and hide or destroy it, but it might allow you to process it and hopefully stop it from having such bad effects on yourself. 

 

I am so sorry that you have experienced gory hallucinations and no one deserves to experience them. 

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Whatever it takes I know I can make it through!