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Trying not to self harm

I have this overwhelming urge to self harm and I can't make it go away. I suffer from bulimia and I'm starting to relapse. I do have a psychologist who I see every couple of weeks. I used to self harm every day but in the past few years I've only self harmed once - last year.  The past 3 weeks I've been feeling terrible .I've been stressing over uni exams and what happens if I fail and now I'm anxious plus emotionally and physically exhausted. I don't know what to do Smiley Sad


Re: Trying not to self harm

Hey there, lots going on for you at the moment hurtcupcake... Sounds like you are experiencing a whole lot of distress and emotional pain at the moment. I'm really sorry to hear things are so rough right now but I am really glad that you reached out to us here.

There are lots of people here to have experienced self harm, you are not alone in that - and it is often a way of coping with difficult emotions.

You sound like someone who has survived a lot over the years and you can keep surviving with the right help. It;s great you have a psychologist but you need to be really honest with them about how you are feeling - and if you need to talk to someone inbetween appointments, make the most of our online services of lifeline and kidshelpline (the help anyone up to the age of 25)

Keep chatting to us here and think about reading the stories from these other young people who have made it through self harm

Online Community Manager


Re: Trying not to self harm

Hey hurtcupcake,

I found it hard to tell my psychologist at first. And I still do, but it's better to be honest with her and focus on what you can do to prevent it from happening. I encourage you to do so yourself.

Ummm...some things that help for me is talking to someone on a crisis chat service like:

Beyond Blue

The last three also have webchat services at certain times.

Or...calling and just talking to a friend.

Going outside for a walk, run, swim if I can. Otherwise I put on an exercise video at home.

Alternating between hot and cold showers.


Re: Trying not to self harm

Hey there Hurtcupcake,


I can understand how hard this is for you, and I know how hard it can be to talk to anyone, especially a professional about it. But it does help to talk to someone about it, and another perspective can change how you see your situation.

When I have urges to do something I know isnt good for me, or I feel horrible because uni and family are overwhelming, I try to disract myself. I listen to bubbly, boppy music or watch music videos, and do yoga. There's heaps of online tutorials for easy yoga that can make you feek better.

Try not to stress too much; when your worry of exams gets too much, take a break. Even if you just daydream for five minutes, your body and mind will thank you. And try to eat well and have a good sleep pattern too, as those can make your stress worse.


Eventually,  youll get through this period, but itll  be hard work. It will be worth it though. Try to keep yout head up and smile, and remember that youre a wonderful cupcake who is cared for and valued. Good luck 


Re: Trying not to self harm

Hi @hurtcupcake , i'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling so down as of late. I think you've been given some great advice on this post when it comes to seeking help and support from different sources, so don't hesitate to contact someone if you feel that your urge to self harm becomes too great.

You said in your post that one thing that has been causing you significan't stress is your university work. Rememeber that while studying for exams is important its also important to take breaks to do things that you enjoy in order to avoid burning yourself out, so maybe try putting on a movie that you love of dancing around to a favourite song. It might also be a good idea to try some relaxation techniques, such as mindfullness and meditation. Here are some links related to reducing stress and relaxing:


I hope things start getting a bit better for you soon Smiley Happy


Re: Trying not to self harm

Hey @hurtcupcake Smiley Happy

Everyone has already given you a lot of really good responses and offered some amazing advice!

I just wanted to come in and say that you're not alone in this, like @Sophie-RO said there are lots of people here who have experienced self harm, and a lot who know the fear and struggles of telling your psychologist. Honesty really is the best, albeit hard, it goes a long way in helping you! Smiley Happy

I wish you all the luck and hope you can fight your way through this. We believe that you can.

Good luck Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart


Re: Trying not to self harm

@hurtcupcake I hope you feel better after receiving advice from other users. It is definately important to talk to your psychologist about this. I know it can be hard to resist, once in the cycle it can be pretty hard to get, I've been there. Update us to let us know how you are going. I hope it works out Smiley Happy. You can make it through, you are strong enough to resist.  Smiley Happy


Take care of yourself 



Re: Trying not to self harm

Hey @hurtcupcake How are things going? Have you felt any better over the last couple of days?


Re: Trying not to self harm

ok hurt cup cake


im gonna make this short and sweet because im sure that other reach out peeps are way better with answering this



get organised with your exam prep . know what your studying and when your studying having a good plan of attack

is often and awesome way to get rid of the stress of exams . and take it one exam at a time and no cramming because it will just make you stressed


and keep proactive when i got off ciggrettes (dont worry im not saying there the same thing but bear with me). i kinda made every day that i didnt have a ciggy an achievement . i was really proud of my self when i marked each day down on a calander that i didnt smoke up . maybe doing something similar will give you some achievement when keeping off self harm


as i said just a few suggestions


Re: Trying not to self harm

Thank you all for the support, kind words and tips.


I ended up jumping onto the Beyond Blue site and chatting with a counsellor on there. I've also been back to see my psychologist and I told her all that was going on. I'm still not feeling great, struggling with exam anxiety and even though I'm preparing for my exam, I can't help but feel like it's not going to go well. I wish this feeling would just go away.