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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Great to hear @Bee so glad you're having success with eheadspace too. Smiley Happy

 

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: phone broke $100, speeding fine $100, parking ticket for parking at our own house $100 ...!!! BLARGHHH

 

Pos: at least i have stable work i can make it back.. I suppose working full time doesnt always mean money left over every week to buy nice things.. things arent everything though and I have to remember that.. least I have a roof over my head and food in my belly..

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: Long day, super tired, work was shit by the end of it. Too many things pissed me off. Feeling fragile. 

Pos: I'm home now, trying to relax. forget about the shit

 

Neg: I feel like I'm the only one who gets the long shifts, I feel like the expectations set for me are too high for me to meet, I'm floundering, not even feeling able to show up to work tomorrow! Smiley Sad Part of me doesn't want to, I'm just too mentally and physically exhausted. But I feel like no one takes me seriously! Smiley Sad

Pos: I guess it means I'm reliable and stuff if I get the long ones. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

 

Neg: Get home, no one has done anything for tea (Typical) and no one cares to say hello as I walk home. Gee thanks guys. And I ask if my clothes can be brought in (like 6 items) and I get "oh do it yourself. You never help me" WHAT a load of F BS! I bust my guts and thats what I get. Wow. Great family I've got huh? Maybe I should just runaway and join the circus? 

Pos: ???

 

Neg: Have no compassion for myself right now. Feeling like going on a binge. Feeling like Self Harming. Right now it's taking every strength to land myself there. 

Pos: I'm trying to fight it.

 

Neg: Have felt extremely anxious all day today, and I haven't the slightest clue. Just pure anxiety, it pretty much brouht me to tears evrey hour! Smiley Surprised Smiley Sad Having to fight so hard to not let the tears fall, especially infront of customers. :'(

Pos: I did it. I managed to stay strong. But now when I want to just let it out, I can't. GRR


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart
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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: Feeling really crappy again tonight, wanting to just drink the sorrows away. The urge is quite strong tbh :/

Pos: I'm going to practice some self-care and take myself to bed, thus emilinating the second part of the above. Sources have all shut by now anyway, further emilinating that risk right now.

 

Neg: Read over some past stuff tonight, which probably wasn't the best thing to do considering I already felt like sh*t. Feeling like I've not made any progress in the last 4 years! Smiley Sad I'm still that shy scared little girl hiding herself away from the world. Nothing will ever change. I just keep going aroudn in ******* circles.!

Pos: I'm trying?

 

Neg: So many things today hurt me like yesterday. I honestly don't know where to turn anymore.

Pos: Today was at least a tiny bit better than yesterday

 

Neg: Feeling really at risk tonight. Not sure how, not sure why. Not sure of anything at this point. Absolutely dreading tomorrow. dreading having to face people tomorrow. If only....

Pos: I am going to bed. NOthing in reach to hurt myself. I will make every effort to stay safe. Tomorrow will take care of itself.


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Negative: Haven't had a decent nights sleep in 4 nights and I'm over it

Positive: I have time today to try and catch up on some sleep and until then caffine will be my best friend Smiley Tongue

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Hey @Bee - how did you go with that recommendation for a GP? And you have an appt with eHeadspace tomorrow, right?
I think it's great that you've been doing some work to find face to face support recently. It's got to be your priority at the moment, sounds like you're feeling a lot of pain and things are overwhelming - would it be right to sat that you are feeling out of control and turning to coping mechanisms that harm as much as they help?

There is that old quote, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. You need to be seeking new and different help and support. You are on your way, let me know if there is anything I can do to help you make that appointment with the GP.

We're behind you all the way

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Hey @Bee I can see that things suck right now, but just keep looking for the positives. I hope you are feeling better today. Here for you Smiley Happy
_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

 

 

@Sophie-RO I got the name of a female gp at the clinic. Yes I have an apt tomorrow with eheadspace.

I know it needs to be priority, I. It just feels so hard. I'm so scared, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm even doing, or what I'm meant to do. I mean yes I called them to ask, but the anxiety and the fear I felt starting work, was unbearable. My whole body just shaking, trembling with fear.

Yeah I guess that's fair to say. I kinda feel like it's just a downward spiral to nothingness. Smiley Sad

 

I've heard that quote before. I guess that's what I've been doing tho, for so many years, continuing to expect different results from the same old things. What do you mean by "You need to be seeking new and different help and support"?

I don't know how you can help. Or anyone for that matter. Really, I'm just so lost.

 

 

~~~

 

Neg: Some thoughts recently have kinda been scaring me. Even last nights post here that kinda scares me.

Pos: I've been trying to ignore those fears, although not the best. I'm trying to not let them take over. Easier said than done tho

 

Neg: Today I just felt so crap. I know I stuffed up epically with our "new routine" at TAFE with our 'playgroup' I just feel like it was too much. I couldn't even focus on anything. I was so distant. I don't think I can continue this career path. I am so confused.

Pos: I got through it. I acted as professionally and as engaged as I could. I even had children come ask for my help! 

 

Neg: A peer asked me if I was quiting TAFE. (A comment I made a while back to a past peer) I didn't know how to react, I felt walls going up and everything.

Pos: I was as open with her as I could given the space we were in (around young children). I don't know what I want anymore. Smiley Sad

 

Neg: Looking at everything right now, I kinda just feel like dropping TAFE would be easier on my health, but I don't want to disappoint those around me, and I don't want to burden my class with all the extra work they will have... I'm torn.

Pos: In saying that I really do need to look after myself, but I know I need a more level opinion before I decide on anything. I've left my details with TAFE reception for the campus counsellor to get in touch. Maybe he might be able to help?


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

@ruenhonx thanks, but I'm not really feeling much better. Sure maybe I feel ok for a couple hours - where I'm not feeling so crap, but it always comes back to the point where I question my strength...
Things really do suck, I'm over it.

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: Got called into work today and I said yes, kinda wondering whether part of me said yes to avoid my eheadspace apt this arvo. *sigh* I don't think it was worth it though, because I didn't have a very good day! :/  *sigh*

Pos: Eheadspace was understanding (as always) that I had to cancell again. I did have a couple good interactions with customers! 

 

Neg: I'm really starting to question why I always put this second to none, why is it that I will take any oppourtunity to get out of dealing with this that I can? Why can't I just get through it!?

Pos: I'm trying. 

 

Neg: In writing that, I just went to the clinic's website I've been looking at and made that apt!

Pos: I MADE THE APPOINTMENT!!! I am going to write down what I want to tell the gp on Monday. Including a screenshot of a section of a reply from eheadspace.

 

Neg: I'm feeling a little numb but anxious. Ergh.

Pos: I know I need to do this. Going to try and not freak out about this!


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart