(its taken me nearly 2 weeks just to ring that number!)Pos: I rang the number - finally! It kinda makes sense that she books all her own appointments, given the ages on her children.
Neg: Its the initial part of all this that Im so scared of. The part where she realises who I am. Im scared to even try and ring that new number!
Pos: Ill give it a few days, I can figure something out surely...
Hey @redhead
You're absolutely right, good times may come. It's such an important truth to hold onto. Everything changes. Everything. And as long as you keep holding on, you keep open the possibility that good times may come. Don't rob yourself of what you might experience. Hold on and see what happens. It may well be amazing. 
There's so much to be proud of here @redhead Even in these really dark days you find a positive way of seeing things. This is what will get you through.
Neg: Feeling really overwhelmed by this stupid bloody annoying piece of stupid papar assessment. It's driving me up the wall.
Pos: One more week and I can throw, I mean send/email it to my teacher and kinda forget about it.
Neg: I'm scared I won't pass it, and I'll have to redo it, producing more stress and anxiety which I have no energy for right now.
Pos: I'll do my best. If she says I have to redo it, I'll tell her to explain it to me properly!
Neg: Feeling like a real outcaste in my class. Feeling like if I just walked out, no one would notice. Today only one person called out goodbye. But I was too far gone in my head to really notice who I was. I just couldn't. Took too much energy.
Pos: ?
Neg: Felt really anxious before seeing the campus counsellor. Really wasn't sure I was going to get through it. I just wanted to run, it was so bad.
Pos: I got through it.
Neg: He doesn't know when he'll next be back. Something felt really wrong about the whole thing tho. Like it just felt really really wrong. And I couldn't even put my finger on it. Like what?
Pos: He said he'd ring 1-2 weeks before he next comes in. I can still say I don't want to go back. We might be appointed a new counsellor yet, some are going through their checks to be employed by TAFE NSW. So my campus might be allocated one.? I'm still to figure out what felt so wrong.
Neg: Didn't feel like anyswering half of his questions, so I didn't. Is that what felt so wrong? I didn't end up that closed off character in the corner of the room I keep applying to myself!
Pos: ?? Maybe I might be able to call the psychologist I want to see now, and book a time?
Neg: Felt so very detached from evreything as I talked about it all. I had my walls up, but still it all felt so surreal. Why do I feel so detached from what I was saying??? Part of me feels like this isn't right for me...
Pos: I got out somethings I've never said before. It was nice to have someone say that it didn't sound like a good envrionment to be in - at home. I know I need this. I so desperately need counselling to at least find an even ground for a while. This low mood recently is really testing me. Maybe he just wasn't the right person for me....
Neg: Was having a good day until I went to cover my portfolios, then stuffed them up and ended up ripping hte contact off destorying the actual cover of the book - brillient. I felt really angry both at life and at myself, I felt out of control. I then felt sad because I felt so angry. And then hoepless because I was feeling sad about feeling angry. I'm feeling outtah control!
Pos: I managed to calm down. I managed to fix the book! I managed to finish covering all 3!
Neg: It was a good day, but I'm feeling uncertain I can class it as a good day due to my irritability, and mood swings this evening
Pos: It was a good day in that not once I felt the urge to hurt myself or end my life! It was a good day in that I managed quite well considering I didn't spend the entire day alone, I spent a lot of time talking to others and being physically around others!
Neg: My hair didn't turn out as red as I wanted it. But I kinda knew that.
Pos: It is red. It's got that red glimer to it, especially in the sun! It's a burgandy colour to begin with, if I want a redder colour or more intense, I should try the 'red embers' in the same brand, that should come out brighter in my hair? It still looks awesome. left my hair feeling amazing too! WIN!
