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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: Feeling unmotivated again. Really not wanting to do any more work on my assessment.

Pos: I got a fair bit done today. I also NOW know HOW to do the rest of it. I can do it tomorrow morning or Friday after work! Smiley Happy Tonight I am going to rest with some RO and then Glee! I deserve it. Smiley Tongue

 

Neg: Still haven't rang the psych to book an apt. *sigh*

Pos: I know what to expect on the phone from my previous attempt. This time I WILL LEAVE my number as is (and not put it to silent!) and ring. Hopefully if I freak out and can't talk they'll pick up my number?

Pos: I CAN do this. I just need to believe in myself.

 

Neg: Feeling so detached from everything around me. Like I've been in such a depressed state recently, and I'm only just rising to the surface to see it all! **** I'm also realised how my mood is affecting day to day life. I began to see today and agree with one fo the things the GP wrote on my mental health care plan. Yikes I did some research and this is what I found "someone in Labile mood exhibits an exaggerated, inappropriate emotional reaction in response to normal stimuli, such as sobbing over a dropped plate. ... Exaggerated emotional responses that do not match the situation are called mood-incongruent"

Pos: That actually makes sense to me. So many things make sense now when I look back over so many years. It's like digging for treasure and finally finding the gold. Well I've kinda found my answer. I've found part of the reason I've always felt so awkward in social and intimate social situations. It's not me, but it's me. (that may not make sense, but it kinda does!)

 

Neg: My cases for my phone haven't arrived yet. I'm beginning to get impatient

Pos: they said 2-6 working days. 6 workin days included tomorrow! I'll contact them Monday if I don't have them by then!


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: Not really feeling like going to work today. Part of me just feels a little unsure inside. I don't really know if it's anxiety, fear or something else? :/

Pos: I know it's good for me to get out. Maybe it's because I've had 4 days off now, and I'm feeling a little lost? I can do this. If it gets too much I know I can always go home sick.

 

Neg: I think I've reached a point where I just kinda don't care anymore.

Pos: I'm tired. My tiredness is causing a lack of care, because care takes energy, and energy is something I don't really have right now. (the spoon theory is a great analogy of how I'm feeling right now, and how I'm getting through recently)

 

Neg: It's 11am and I start work in an hour. *sigh* S'pose, I better start getting ready...

Pos: Hair: Done. Make-up: Done. Now to make lunch, have some food, put shoes and shirt on and leave. You can do this Bee! 


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Negative: I have a migraine
Positive: I took painkiller and it's a little better

Negative: had a really overwhelming and stressful week
Positive: I can take today easy, and try to de-stress myself
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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: I left a message yesterday with a psychologist, didn't hear anything today. Not sure if that's good or bad. There's so much crap going around my head I don't even know whats real anymore. Smiley Sad

Pos: I need to give it time, she could be really busy or dealing with her children.

 

Neg: I looked online for other psychologists in town, we really don't have many, and we have very little information on them also. Why does it have to be so hard? 

Pos: I wrote down the numbers for all of them. I can always send a text and see what response I get?

 

Neg: I have no idea where to start with any of it. NO freaking idea! Smiley Sad I just want it all to go away. And there's no one close enough to me to talk it over with. I feel so alone. I just want to cry. Scream. and run from it all.

Pos: I'm trying. I'm really trying. I'm managing the best I can. Even if I spend hours just sitting and staring into random places...

 

Neg: started work in a bit of a panic today. I got a call from the campus counsellor as I walked into work. It kinda threw me off. But something inside me made me answer the call and make another appointment. But I don't know what it was...

Pos: I'm getting some help at the moment at least. It's not that entirely scary? IDK

 

Neg: Had a couple good days, now I feel like I'm back at drowning point. Feeling like it's all just too much. Like I just exploded this afternoon because there was stuff in my way, and I was cursing and swearing, and getting angry cause my room was a mess, but then I saw a big spider and freaked out, nearly started crying, and found it hard to even walk into my room for ages. The spider is still alive in here somewhere! Smiley Surprised 

Pos: ??

 

Neg: was feeling really overwhelmed by the negative thoughts in my head and wanted to act upon them. I wanted to act upon the self-harm thoughts. I had no empathy for myself, nothing was telling me not to act. I was kinda scared.

Pos: I fought through them. I picked up some permanent markers instead of ('thing') and drew on myself instead. 

Neg: It didn't demish the thoughts or feelings or want by any means.

Pos: It got me through it safely! that's the important thing I guess?

 

Neg: Having trouble getting someone to cover this shift for me next week. I really need the time off for the optomitrist, and I need to vote too...

Pos: I can always leave work 'sick' and let the supervisors deal with it? 

Pos: I can TALK to my supervisors and ask what I can do. I can't just leave it with no one to cover it, but I can't not go to my appointment. ;ebneou''ofd Smiley Sad

 


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

@Bee wrote:

Pos: It got me through it safely! that's the important thing I guess?

 

Yes! Well done on getting yourself through that moment. Go Bee! And good on  you for keeping on trying to connecting with a Psych and your campus counsellor. Perservering when you need help is hard, but so worth it. Well done!

 

blithe

 

 

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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

@blithe *shrugs* Its not entirely passed. I'm trying, but I just feel like recoiling into my shell.. :'( I know it'll be worth it. I'm just really struggling tonight... (again)


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

It is a huge positive that you were able to use self-help techniques and stay physically safe @Bee don't under-estimate how big a challenge that is! How are you feeling now?

 

PS. This thread is about to get to 100 pages. That 100 pages of kicking negative thinking's ass!

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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: Feeling like a complete worthless mess 

Pos: Maybe its a sign I need to give myself a break from everything I have been so busy. 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

negative: missed out on one of the best oppurtunities for me to do spmething good with my life because i was too disorganised

pos: there will be other things,or i can try again in a year. 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

@ElleBelle I don't realise how hard it is until I'm there, trying so hard to fight it. And I just feel so bad that I can't figure out how to win against the urges and thoughts and feelings. It really does hurt.
*shrugs* I've been on that much of a rollercoaster today that I don't even know. Overall though I think I'm at my worst. I have been since seeing the gp about all this. Could that have been a trigger? I just know that usually I don't feel like hurting myself consecutive days in a row, and usually I can struggle my way out after a couple days, where as this, it's been 3 weeks nearly where is nearly constant in my head. I was feeling bad before hand, but nothing like this I don't think. And I want so bad to share with someone the actual thoughts going through my head, but here it'd break community guidelines, which I really don't want to do - they're there for a reason! And elsewhere it'd only make people worry about my safety, and I just don't think I can handle the whole 'duty of care' situation properly...
I had a couple good days though, I posted in the art challenges, I did #4 but never got to posting it. And then my mood dropped again.
I've been trying to open up to 'friends' (class mates) but I get either nothing or "not good" and I just feel like it's a waste of time and effort trying to communicate with anyone, because it always come across as though I'm being annoying or stupid or whatever. It feels like no one wants me around... And maybe that's all in my head. But it's so hard to deal with. It's so hard to watch myself fake a smile, and fake laugh with my customers, while inside I'm holding back the tears that now run down my face. It's so hard to walk in to work portraying I'm ok, when most times I just want to burst into tears, but I have to hold it in until I am alone where I can let it all out. And I HATE the stupid reactions when I say I'm having a bad day to some customers "oh you're not supposed to say that" "oh don't say that" as if we're not allowed to be anything but good or superb or brilliant or excellent. What if I am not that? What if I don't want to be that What if I just want to feel ok? Is that not enough?


Neg: Researched other psychologists in town, found 2 others which I'm happy with the location and the feel of the place/ website for them. But I don't know costs or anything. There is also other factors for both which make me weary to attend. I just don't know how to decide. Do I wait to see if my first choice ever rings back? Or do I try again Monday? Also office hours are only 9-1pm
Pos: I left a message, I can wait a couple more business days to see if she returns my call, or I can try again and see if I reach her. I can call (or text if I'm not up to it) the other 2 and find out some more info before I fully decide...

Neg: Feeling so alone in all of this. Not even feeling like I can talk to eheadspace about it. Our last chat was for me to her her know details to contact the psych and talk to her about my history so I didn't have to start from scratch, then to have a web chat after the first session. I kinda feel bad to email her and say I'm really struggling. Smiley Sad
Pos: I know it's ok to not always make the progress so quick. She knows how hard it's been for me to do this.

Neg: I kinda feel guilty about so many things where that's concerned. Smiley Sad
Pos: at the end of the day they are in place to help young people like myself on this journey (although sometimes it doesn't make it any easier)

Neg: Feeling so very unsure of everything right now...
Pos: I need some distraction of some sort I think...


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart