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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

And I'm crying and shaking because I am so angry it seems like every oppurtunity people get to knock me down they do it straight away
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

@j95 It sounds like there are a few things going on for you right now, and things that are important to you. When the important things don't go the way we plan, it can make us feel a whole lot worse. 

 

You mentioned you were picked to do something and now someone else has been picked. That would've been really frustrating to find that out especially if it was something you were looking forward to or really wanted to do.

 

You also mentioned not being able to change an appointment back to the original date (I'm not sure if this is a separate issue?). Do you think maybe their hands are tied on that one? 

 

Finally, just want to check J cause I'm concerned about you. You mentioned you are better off dead, are you having thoughts of suicide? 

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

It is a separate issue yes but they just hate me because I'm a pathetic little fucking sook who sucks so clearly I'm not good enough for them @OceanMaster1207
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

@j95 it must be incredibly frustrating to get picked for something and then ending up not doing it later. Your feelings of being upset about it are completely valid. I'm hearing that you think (at the moment) that the reason this happened was because of you. That is a very painful thought. I don't know the entire situation but sometimes things happen and plans change and the reason for the change has nothing to do with us as a person. Can you challenge this thought or is a soothing strategy is what you need right now?

 

I'm really concerned at how distressed you're feeling at the moment. So I'll also ask, are you safe at the moment?

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

I can hear @j95 that you are very angry and upset with yourself right now. Is there something in particular you would like to change, something you would like to work on? I know you might feel like saying everything, but right now if you had to focus on one thing, what would you say?

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

I don't know what I would focus on, maybe not being so dumb and maybe being better at things and not failing all the time. @OceanMaster1207

I don't really know how to respond to your posts @Mona-RO I want to challenge the thoughts but I'm just so angry and upset, it feels like everyone is trying to knock me down, I can't even think straight I'm just so worked up, none of this is fair. and I fuckkmg hate myself for being such a messed up dickhead who can't do anything right
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

@j95 maybe it's okay to be angry just for now? It sounds like a pretty frustrating situation. Do you think you could focus your frustration on this situation rather than yourself for now, and think of ways/strategies to respond in a positive or helpful way to whats happening?

We could even help you brainstorm ideas when you feel ready.

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

I don't know what you mean by respond in a helpful way. @OceanMaster1207

Dealing with all of this tonight is too hard, I don't get why this all happening I know I'm a complete fuckwit but why all on the same day. I want to go to sleep and never wake up then I won't have to deal with any more of this stupid crap that continues to happen.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

@j95 I'm really sorry at how upset you are. I can sense the pain and anguish you are going through at the moment. It sounds like challenging your thoughts is something you can do once you are less distressed.

 

As @OceanMaster1207 said maybe you can allow yourself to feel the anger and frustration at the situation itself (i.e. the fact that something you had planned got changed, NOT the 'why' behind it because the inner bully is telling you it's because of you). Also, there are self-care and distraction strategies that you can try.

 

However, I am quite concerned. In your last post you said: "I want to go to sleep and never wake up then I won't have to deal with any more of this stupid crap that continues to happen." I am really concerned. Are you having thoughts of suicide?

 

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

I can't though, all I can think about is how it's my fault, I can't just be angry that it happened
If I was having thoughts of suicide it wouldn't matter anyway and we all know it's just me being a sook as usual cause that's what I'm best at
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//