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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Great that you are seeing your psychologist @Bee Heart This is such a difficult thing to have to deal with so this is a wonderful challenge of your own thoughts

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Thanks @Taylor-RO (that made me tear up) It just feels so hard at times...

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart
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Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

I should really use this more often.

 

Neg: The chest tightness, it's so bad. It's just... how are you so stressed and anxious? My mind is fine! I wish there was just something actually, medically wrong with my stupid chest, something fixable, because it's not fair. The meds were supposed to help but it's been nearly a month of taking them and still no change (I stopped but I should really just go see my GP first Smiley Sad)

Pos: At least I tried. And I'm still trying, even though I just want to crawl into a little ball and not move. 

 

Neg: I'm so weird. And I'm pretty sure that's part of why people aren't friends or really hang out with me. 

Pos: If any, it's probably only a few people. It's just my mind skewing things in the most negative light because I'm lonely. But I'm seeing my friend this weekend and we'll have fun so it'll be fine. 

 

Neg: Oh dear no no no I have an assignment that's not started due on Wednesday and that's actually really soon why does it still feel so far away???

Pos: can do this. All I have to do is writing a behaviour management plan. I can just use things I've learnt from my sensei at ju jitsu and things I already know, through in a few references and it'll be fine. I just have to write the stupid thing. (I CAN DO THIS!)

 

Neg: Oh I have another assignment due on Monday that I feel so underprepared for. We're supposed to visit some place and I've only just emailed the place today and it's due in a week and oh man there's not enough days in the week.

Pos: I have a day off uni on Wednesday (yeah, that day for my other assignment *cries*) plus there's Saturday (or possibly Sunday, maybe my friend will go with me) and I can write bits of the assignment without actually visiting the place because this place I've chosen actually has a bunch of teacher information available on their website so it's not like I'm missing anything. I can do this. 

 

Neg: Assignment three (well, technically two in order of due dates). Oh boy assignment three. And there's the presentation I have to give along with it on Monday... *crying*

Pos: Yes, writing about theoretical stuff and development things is going to be hard but I CAN do it, okay? And the presentation is only five minutes long anyway so I'll nail it. I'll have the whole weekend and it'll be fine. 

 

Pos: I CAN DO MY ASSIGNMENTS! I'm 5 semesters, 22ish units into university and my units have at least 2 assignments each. That's 50 assignments (I'm rounding up) and I've only asked for... 3 extensions. I can do this. I've done it before and, as I tell my students, "I've seen you do it before, I know you can do it." (Okay me? I've got this)

 

Neg: These past few days (weeks, maybe) my eyes have felt so heavy. I'm tired of being tired all the time. Is it too much to ask for to be well-rested? Or even just rested?

Pos: More opportunities for naps? But also at least it means that I actually sleep at night (although I keep waking up in the middle of the night... but I think that's the heat rather than sleep stuff) because yay for sleep schedules. It's something. 

 

Neg: I'm getting really... annoyed? More like mildly annoyed I think at my perceptions of time and what-not. It's... is it really that hard to know time? I mean, I know I showered this morning because I feel clean and I have memories of showering but... how do I explain this... it feels disconnected? If it wasn't for those couple of two-second memory "clips" and the fact that I'm clean I don't think I'd know I showered, but I did... *sigh* Like my assignment being due on Wednesday, it doesn't feel like it's due two days from now at all. That's two days!! That's not very long but you're still just ignoring your assignment... why??? 

Pos: This is kind of something I just have to live with, because I'm pretty sure it's just the way I am brain-wiring style but at least I've mentioned it (kind of) out loud. And the fact that I stick pretty strictly to routines helps in knowing what I've done and need to do. 

 

Neg: (a more mild negative) This morning was kinda shitty after I realised that my tute started an hour earlier than I thought and I had half an hour until it started. For some reason I thought my hour-and-a-half tute would already be 1 hour gone if I left then, even though it takes 40 minutes max to get to uni... Like what even brain??? If I hadn't spent so much time driving in circles then trying to calm myself down with my friends (and make them "yell" at me to go Smiley Tongue) I probably wouldn't of been late at all. Just... what even? How? *sighs* this kind of leads from the above one but anyway

Pos: My friends were great in affirming my reluctant decision to go to uni and it was an alright day. 

 

That's it for today... Ugh I'm so tired

 

Wait there's one more I want to add:

Neg: I've found a new stim and it's leg bouncing and I hate it so much. It makes me leg feel jiggly and when I stop there's this... phantom vibrating might be the best way to explain it. Kind of like it can feel like you're swaying on a regular chair after you've been sitting on a rocking chair all afternoon (or is that just me? Smiley Tongue)

Pos: New stim? New stim! Smiley Tongue Plus I have my stretchy friends and regular stretches to help and the feeling usually quickly goes away and gets forgotten (one of the perks of a bad memory I guess) so that's something.

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: I have spent an ENTIRE DAY, procrastinating this stupid assignment. It shouldn't be that hard to write, it really shouldn't but for some reason I just CAN'T write the stupid thing. Why??? 

It's only a simple behaviour management plan. Everything is lined out pretty basically for me to understand so WHY can't I write it? 

If I can't write some stupid behaviour management plan, how can I be a good teacher? How can I be good at the thing I've spent nearly three years of my life working towards. I'm so... argh mildly frustrated right now, why can't I have a normal brain that just does what it's supposed to do?

Pos: Who cares if it's late right? Ugh it's hard to change this into a positive but I know I can do it. I'll be fine. Probably. (maybe)

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: Thinking about role models made me sad and wish that I had a stable role model in life. Sure there's been people, but I kinda just want one person who has always kind of been a positive influence on my life. And it hurts because I've never really had that.

Pos: I know that there have been different people at different points of my life who acted as role models for me. I am okay. I can cope with this.

 

Neg: Thinking about the above makes me wish I had a good relationship with my sister, but I don't and we never speak. Smiley Sad And she added me on facebook recently, and because of the history with her I'm so confused about what to do with the request..

Pos: I don't really have a positive for this...

 

Neg: I felt like I didn't get much out of my session with my psychologist today. I was able to keep a conversation, but I felt like it was more superficial kind of stuff. Part of me feels like that is because my mum was in the waiting room because she drove me...

Pos: I was able to talk to her about how I'm kinda managing and she reassured me that the up and downs in my mood would be because of the surgery and the fact now I can't use my leg ect.

 

Neg: I am so exhausted today after being out away from home for over 3 hours! And we had 3 different places I got out of the car!

Pos: I got what I needed/wanted done

 

Neg: I have to go out tomorrow shopping again Smiley Sad I'm exhausted. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

Pos: I have another drs in the morning and than I don't really nee to be with, so if I'm that tired I may just stay in the car or sit inside while mum runs errands


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: Had a crappy day, things kept going wrong, between miscommunication from the RMS and the drs office and my brother constantly verbally bullying/attacking me I just haven't coped today, many tears and just feeling lost and alone. I feel like I've been picked on and now being blamed for the whole thing. :'( I'm starting to wonder if home is a safe space anymore

Pos: I've spoken to some friends, and while that helped a little, I feel broken inside. I feel like my whole positive faith in live and everything has just been torn apart again. I know I'm feeling everything at once right now and I'm in my room and I'm just letting myself cry. I don't really know what to do anymore. Smiley Sad


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: Was overwhelmed, upset and stuck in my worries last night about my foot and everything surrounding it

Pos: I was able to post in a support group specific to it and that helped. I eventually fell asleep

 

Neg: I've been on a bit of a roller-coaster today again, up and down and I'm feeling exhausted.

Pos: I'm going to Everyday life and then going to do some self-care of a bit of colouring and gilmore girls and then some photography stuff Smiley Happy


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Neg: Was feeling really anxious and struggling to study

Pos: Did some mindfulness and some work

 

Neg: My psyc isn't avaliable for an appointment for ages

Pos: I made an appointment

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Awesome reframes @Bee and @PuppyLover! Smiley Happy I hope you're both having a great weekend Smiley Very Happy

Re: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Negative: *incoherent internal screaming* there's an assignment due tonight you nimrod what the heck are you doing??? *ahhhhhhh* (I have an assignment due tonight Smiley Sad)

Positive: I CAN DO IT. It might not be up to standard, my references are going to be crap, the whole thing will probably be crap but I CAN DO IT and that's what matters. Okay? It's simple, I can do it. I CAN do it. Plus, it's due 11:55pm or 11:59pm, something like that so I'll have plenty of time. 

 

Negative: My head is feeling floaty again Smiley Sad And I feel like a confused mess (again). Also what's going on brain? I don't know (again). 

PositiveI'm going to probably end up wasting their time but at least I'm trying kidshelpline. (here's hoping I don't forget I'm chatting to them and go idle like last time(s)).

 

Negative: I have an early years for my prac again this semester Smiley Sad I really wanted a higher grade because I haven't experienced them yet but oh well. I guess I'll go with early years (again).  It's even a grade I've had already, surely they'd try to make sure students experience both an early years and a higher years grades if we're going to be Primary Teachers, who don't always get to choose which year level. 

Positive: At least I'm good with early years. And maybe I can ask my teacher (I probably won't but I possibly could) to go into one of the higher years classrooms for a day or maybe even just a little while to see at least a snippet of what it might be like. 

 

Negative: I tried to make a thread about my lack of time perception (hey maybe that's what it's called) four times and failed on all accounts. It just ended up so messy and confusing, yay me! (not)

Positive: It's okay. It doesn't really affect anything so I'll live, I guess. 

 

Negative: (leading from the previous one) Why is my memory so shitty! Just once I'd like to know if I did actually have breakfast this morning or know if that sandwich I had for lunch was today, yesterday or the day before. Is it too much to ask to know what month something I did was in? Or which year I did something important without having to count backwards or anything? It'd be nice to actually remember things of value. 

Positive: Useless facts abound! Well, not really because I can't remember those either BUT I do know a lot about different fictional things such as Avatar, Ninjago (of course) and DC and Marvel and bits of Transformers and so on. And only because I've watched them a couple of times (or even just once!) So ha! Take that terrible memory, I'm winning on the movie/tv show/book front! Smiley Very Happy