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Tw suicide - anniversary

So in a few days it will be 5 years since I made my first real suicide attempt and ended up in hospital. 

I'm really messed up because of it because I should have died then. I should be dead. I want to be dead. I know some good things have happened in the last five years but was it worth it. I wish it had worked and then the pain would have stopped. 

 

 

I'm determined not to survive another year on that date, I should be getting discharged tomorrow then Ill finally be free. 

 

 

I love you guys but I just can't stick around. I'm sorry. 

===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Tw suicide - anniversary

Hi @redhead, just wanting to make sure that you're on the RO forum and getting the right support with some of the sadness or regret you are feeling.

As you know, we need to keep this a safe space, and I need to check if you are planning to do something to end your life tomorrow after discharge? Can you let the medical team know ASAP?

Thanks for being strong enough to be so open with us.

- Sally

Re: Tw suicide - anniversary

@TOM-RO yes. And I'm not telling the stupid Dr about my plans. They've already kept me in too long.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Tw suicide - anniversary

Yay getting discharged today
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Tw suicide - anniversary

Hey @redhead I am really worried about you. I need you to talk to your team about what's happening for you if you're still thinking about ending your life. We all care about you here a lot and while things are so tough we need you to get all the help you can to stay safe, and hopefully also find some peace in the process. Although i can hear again and again how hard that is right now. 

 

Could you please talk to your case manager about this? 

 

 

Re: Tw suicide - anniversary

I told the drs and my case manager about my plans. I'm still getting discharged @Ben-RO
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Tw suicide - anniversary

@redhead hospital isn't the only place you can go to get help to stay safe. I think it's really awesome that you have talked to your treating team about everything. I know that's hard and there's a bit of fear around having to go back to hospital. 

 

What can you do to keep safe? How can we help? 

 

And finally, i keep having this thought about how to help you find some peace... i don't know if that's the right term. But just a state where you're neither happy or sad, but just okay with where you are at... Does that kinda make sense? 

Re: Tw suicide - anniversary

@Ben-RO just forget about me
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Tw suicide - anniversary

Don't want to do that @redhead are you in a space where you can work with us on this right now? Or do you need extra help? 

Re: Tw suicide - anniversary

How's it going @redhead are you safe? Do you have a plan to end your life?