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Unsure how to feel anymore

I lay here in bed not wanting to do anything I feel lazy and useless. A small tear runs down my face as I slowly break down mentally and physically. I listen to these lyrics and try to understand there meaning and the artist's story, can't help relating to every story I listen to, they're short but carry a powerful message with every one. Not worrying about notifications even with my data on, no one truly cares, no one asks how I'm doing, what I'm doing, do I have any real friends? I guess they can't see my pain through my smile I put on every day.

Re: Unsure how to feel anymore

All these emotions and thoughts I have are like a blurr, affecting the way I look at people and every task I do, like a constant sort of white noise inside my head. Unsure how long this will all last makes me feel unwell, wish everything would just disappear. I seek clarity and find nothing, no answers, no solutions, I am beginning to feel numb with emotions towards everyone and everything.

Re: Unsure how to feel anymore

The weekends used to excite me, I would look forward to them but now I feel almost nothing. Soon school will be over FOREVER and I am truly unsure how I feel about it, I guess I'm scared to "grow up" be an adult, I feel I'm not ready, everything is just happening so fast.

Re: Unsure how to feel anymore

You express yourself so well @Pasta. I think being so self-aware is a great thing! Heart

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time though. Smiley Sad It can be so hard not being able to look forward to anything. Uncertainty can also be such a difficult thing to deal with.

Like you, I have also struggled with feeling as though I have to grow up, but I have been trying to remind myself that everyone grows up at their own pace and that I don't have to do the same as other people.

Re: Unsure how to feel anymore

@WheresMySquishy  I organised to go to a friends earlier today but I really don't think I'm up to it, I feel so drained.

Re: Unsure how to feel anymore

That's no good that you're feeling so drained @Pasta. It's such an awful feeling. Smiley Sad

Are you able to do some self-care or get some rest tonight? Heart

Re: Unsure how to feel anymore

@WheresMySquishy  unsure what I could do regarding self-care, I'm probably just going to listen to music and try to allow my thoughts to come and go, eventually falling asleep to wake up early unintentionally as I've been quite restless awaking a couple times every night. If I wake up early tomorrow and the weather isn't too bad I will go for a ride and take some photos.

Re: Unsure how to feel anymore

I think listening to music is a great strategy @Pasta. I also like listening to ambient sounds, slow TV and meditations close to bedtime, but these things don't help everyone.

Does anything help you when you wake up in the middle of the night?

It's great that you have something to look forward to tomorrow! I hope you enjoy it!

Re: Unsure how to feel anymore

@WheresMySquishy I find it quite difficult to fall asleep with silence. Nothing really helps me when I wake up in the middle of the night, I either fall back to sleep pretty quickly or stay up for a few hours.

Re: Unsure how to feel anymore

@Pasta  Since you have trouble falling asleep with silence, do you think that listening to white noise would help you? I have a small device that makes a vibrating heartbeat sound that is supposed to help you go to sleep but I haven't used it in ages. A lot of people have sworn that it helps them nod off though.