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Weird life

Here we go again. I thought new year would bring happiness in me. But I’m the same guy I was yesterday and a year earlier. I’m finding it hard to breath and I don’t know why. I feel like I’m stuck in a maze. A never ending maze. I don’t feel good at work, I don’t feel good at home, I don’t feel good eating outside. I feel like drowning in a deep sea. I’ve talked with my family and friends. But there is always something missing. My life sucks.

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Re: Weird life

Hey @Taffu please know that you're not alone in feeling the pressure of "New Years". It can certainly bring up a whole lot of heavy stuff for us. Especially if we feel stuck.

 

Is there anything in particular you were hoping to change or do you have any clue of what may be missing in your life? 

 

 

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Re: Weird life

@Erin-RO hi Erin, even I don’t know what I’m missing. May be I’m missing my comfort zone. And my comfort zone has always been my mom. Since she passed away, I never had a day with peace. A big part of my heart has been missing since 2014. And I just can’t cope with it.

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Re: Weird life

Hi @Taffu I'm so sorry to hear the pain that you're in. Losing a loved one is so hard, especially a parent, this must've been incredibly difficult for you. It's great to hear that you can talk to your family and friends about what you're going through! Has that helped at all? 

 

I was wondering whether you've spoken to a doctor or counsellor about the way you are feeling about your life or about your mum? 

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Re: Weird life

@Libellule yeah I’ve talked with both doctors and Counselors. It helps me to stay calm for few days. But the stigma keeps coming back. 

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Re: Weird life

Hey @Taffu, a belated welcome to RO! I'm sorry about the pain you're in from losing your mum. It sounds like she was a very big part of your life. It's okay to allow yourself to keep grieving, even this far afterwards. Heart

 

I'm very glad that you have found doctors and counsellors helpful. Have you considered talking to Kids Helpline before? They are a great service that you might find helpful in between appointments with your supports. Their phone number is 1800 55 1800, or you can use webchat if you would prefer.

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Re: Weird life

Hey @Taffu I'm so sorry to hear your Mum passed away Heart

 

@mrmusic and @Libellule have given you some awesome advice and links to support services, so I'd highly recommend checking them out. Grief is such a personal process and it can be such a challenging thing to go through. I found a couple of RO links that you might find helpful as you mentioned something about stigma?

 

1. Grief and Loss

2. Working through Grief

 

Hopefully reading through these might help relieve some of the stigma for you?