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What's the point?

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years. It's shattered me. We had been having problems through our relationship that cantered mainly on myself. Most of the time I felt like I was at a low point and let that affect our relationship. My partner had been trying to help me, encourage me to get help, but I could never follow through with it. Finally when I took a short break(2-3wks) from our relationship to work on myself, I started making progress. I never cheated on her, never wanted to take a break from her, but I needed to do something different and make it count, which I did. However when I came back to her, she had decided it she had had enough of the problems, the ups and downs in our relationship. In one moment I felt like my world shattered. I didn't get the chance I needed to succeed, because of all the other previous chances I was given. She had given up on us, and I didn't know what to do. Despite this I kept doing what felt good for me, getting up early for exercise, eating healthier, reaching out to friends, staying in contact. However it all felt empty.. pointless. What's the point of being happy and getting better, if the person you envision sharing your life with has gone, and doesn't want the same future with you anymore. So I want to know what is the point? Someone please tell me.. because I feel like nothing is worth it, and the only cure is having my now ex back in my life.. so what is the point? 

Re: What's the point?

Hey @Futile, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear, I imagine it would have felt like you never really got the chance to prove yourself and that is so shattering. It sounds like you have really put a lot of effort into this relationship and it is important to you. I am also really glad to hear that you ate healthy, exercised and saw your friends. These are things that are probably going to be really helpful for you to continue to do while you are going through this (even if it doesn't always feel like it). There is a point in doing all of these things for yourself. You are worth it and deserve all of these things like happiness and getting better to occur even if you are single and not with your ex Heart

 

I acknowledge how hard this is for you right now and I am wondering if you have been speaking to a health professional about this? You don't have to do it alone. If you aren't sure where to start, https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/ and https://kidshelpline.com.au/ are available with web based and telephone chat Smiley Happy

 

I am going to tag some other members for support @Bee @lokifish @mrmusic @LeoTheLion

Re: What's the point?

Well the point is @Futile, so in the future you can find someone like your ex. 

 

Heartbreak sucks, I have experienced it and I'm sure many other members of ReachOut has also experienced it. It hurts, it's painful, nothing excites you, everything feel wrong etc. It might feel like the only cure is having your ex back but it's not. Sure you can try and get her back but remember love is a two way street. If she doesn't love you anymore, then there is really no point chasing after her. Why not find someone that will love you back? 

 

What I'm trying to say is that the point of doing all these things is not to get back the past because nothing ever will bring back the past. Doing all these little things like exercising, eating healthier etc. is for the future. And hey, who knows maybe your ex. will come back because you persisted with your good habits. 

Re: What's the point?

Hey @Futile, how was your weekend?

I'm sorry to hear that you broke up, it sounds like your relationship was important to you. Did you try any of the helplines @Taylor-RO suggested?

I don't have much experience in relationships, but you are definitely not alone. Do you have any other friends you could share how you're feeling with?

Re: What's the point?

Hi @Futile,
It sounds like you went through a really tough time and I think a lot of people can relate to this.
In your post I can see that you are quite good at taking care of yourself and trying to put yourself first, you mentioned starting to make some progress. I know it can be really hard but through my own experience I think especially at this time it's important to focus on you. It sounds like you are a very caring person and I have no doubt that you will find someone in the future. Do you think through time that you will be able to open up again to the idea of romance?
How have you been feeling recently?
Here for you Heart