cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

What the hell is wrong with me?

Ok, so my mind is currently a mess (therefore this will probably turn into a rant). Plus I can feel extremely tired/sad/crappy that drags on for days for NO REASON.

School's a battlefield. It's not because I get bullied, but I keep feeling as if everyone's eyes are on me or they're talking about me behind my back. I know they're probably not but I cannot get rid of the feeling and it's frustrating!
My friends usually ask if I'm okay when I look sad but I feel that's all they can do: ask. I try talking to them and it's nice that they listen but afterwards they just kinda dismiss what I've just told them about how I'm feeling. So then I feel worthless and don't want to talk to anyone else because it's a waste of their time.

Then there's this other thing which has been on my mind. Now I don't think I'm suicidal but lately, I've been thinking a lot about drowning myself in the bathtub and I want to smack myself because it's a serious issue that I shouldn't think of trying. That's where I think there's something wrong with me, sick even. I don't know, I just think people would forget me anyways. And I've also thought about running away from home because my parents barely care about me anymore and are more focused on my younger brother. I also argue with my mum. She always comments on my appearance and it hurts that she never calls me beautiful.

I want to become my own unique person, an individual who loves herself and doesn't care what others think. It's my ultimate goal. But it's just so hard since I think I'm going through this stupid teen angst phase and I absolutely hate it. It makes me want to leave everything and let go sometimes. It makes me want to cry but I can't. I really, really want to find that one person who truly cares but who would? I'm just your everyday teenager who is going through what every other teen goes through.

Thank you for reading this far. I really appreciate it and hope it didn't take up too much of your time.

Re: What the hell is wrong with me?

Hey @chick, I'm glad you've found us and it didn't take up any time that I didn't already want to give Smiley Happy We're here to listen after all.

 

I'm really sorry that you've been struggling with some frustrating social situations and some pretty tough thoughts. Your words demonstrate some great self-awareness here but I can see that this still troubles you. Have you ever spoken to Kids Helpline? You can chat to them online or call 1800 551 800 any time. You might find this helpful, especially when you're feeling frustrated about your situation at home. On that, have you ever spoken to your parents about how you're feeling? Or told your mum that you find her comments hurtful?

 

As well as these fab forums, ReachOut also has a bunch of great articles and fact sheets. You might enjoy reading how to build self-confidence. Stick around and let us know how you're getting on. Hope to see you around the forums some more!

Re: What the hell is wrong with me?

Hi @chick, first of all I just want to say that we're always here to listen to what you have to say so you're definitely not taking up too much of our time Smiley Happy

 

From what you've said about your friends and your family, it sounds like you're not really getting all the support that you need in dealing with some of the feelings you've been having. @Kit mentioned the possibility of having a chat with your mum about some of the comments she's been making and I think that would be a good idea, but I also think that it would be helpful for you to express to your friends that you need them to be a bit more supportive than they're being right now. 

 

Kids Helpline is also a great idea and along the same vein I'd encourage you to find a source of support that you can trust like a psychologist or counsellor. Is there one at your school that you would feel comfortable with seeing? If not, you could try getting a referal through your GP or getting in contact with a Headspace centre near you (Eheadspace could also be a good thing to have a look into if you're not quite up to seeing someone face-to-face just yet). 

 

Also, I want to stress that if the suicidal thoughts you've been having start to make you feel unsafe please try and get in touch with the Suicide Callback Service at 1300 65 94 67, or 000 if it gets urgent.

 

I hope some of this helps and that things start to improve for you.

Re: What the hell is wrong with me?

I do not even know you but i can in complete confidence say that you are a wonderful person, dont let anyone tell you different, others may dismiss what you say because they have their own issues or are complete arses who don't give trwo hoots about anyone other than themselves, it happens. But rtemember someone will listen, be it us here or one of ytour trysted people, someone will listen you msy not have found them yet.life is worth living, so live, stick around becauise you are worth it. Younger siblings can be a pain and are time and attention consume , I have three of them. Parents still love their children sometimes they dont show it but they do. so stay with them, and try to makre peace anfd frankly just explain what youre going through they will care. think on this when all is bad.

Re: What the hell is wrong with me?

Hi @chick, thanks for being so brave and sharing your story with us.

 

It can be really hard when you're needing support off those close to you but aren't getting what you're looking for. I think what @Chessca_H said about speaking to your friends and asking for a bit more support right now could really help. They might not know how they can do that, so you might need to mention some ways that they could help you out a bit more.

 

Did you had a chance to contact the Kids Helpline or eHeadspace today? 

AJL

Re: What the hell is wrong with me?

Hi dear, 

I honestly know where you're coming from hey, lately I've been going through the same thing and I know how you feel when you say that you don't want to bother anyone, trying to talk to people and then having them dismiss you afterward is a total confidence killer, and I also get the whole "schools a battlefield" thing. It's really hard being a teenage girl in a high school these days because everyone is judgy, but I would really like you to know that you will never be a waste of time for anyone, I don't know you obviously but you are an amazing person even if you don't think you are, you are capable of so much and I, personally, totally believe in you. I don't wanna get all preachy here but there is probably a 95% chance that your parents would literally cave in on themselves if you ever tried to end your life or even if you tried to run away, they would completely lose it. My mum and I have had the hardest time in our life time together but we will always love eachother unconditionally and it's the same with your mum (I think). 

I hope you're okay, I know how hard it is. You'll get through this rough stuff, trust me, I believe in you Smiley Happy

Highlighted

Re: What the hell is wrong with me?

Hey @chick

 

Sorry to hear how you're feeling. It must be frustrating to be opening up to your friends but not getting the support you're after. Have you thought about contacting any support services? A few of the great ones mentioned here included headspace, Suicide Callback Service and Kids Helpline. All of them will have people that you can speak to about what you're going through. Alternatively you could see your GP and ask to be referred to a psychologist. They can really help you work through what you're feeling, and the the fact that you already have such an awesome goal gives you a great head start in the process. 

 

In the meantime, we are all here for you. Feel free to let us know how you go. 

 

Re: What the hell is wrong with me?

 

today i jus feel i dont know what i fell but what the hell is wrong with me its always like this since i was born i just dont know how to handel it so will you pease help me figure it out ReachOut.com i dont know what to do so please help me

 

 

Re: What the hell is wrong with me?

Hey @GodofElements

 

Welcome to ReachOut.com. Sorry to hear that you're feeling like something's gone wrong. Here on the forums, we're more than happy to help you out to figure things out!  Would you like to start your thread or ask your question here

What's been happening? 

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent

Re: What the hell is wrong with me?

Hi @GodofElements, thanks for opening up about how you've been feeling. That can be a hard thing to do and takes a lot of courage.

 

You mentioned you've felt this way for a long time, have you ever spoken to a counselor or psychologist about these feelings? Sometimes getting professional help is the best way to deal with tough situations. If you're not sure how to go about speaking to a porfessional, there's plenty of info here, or you can speak to your local GP who can refer you to someone.

 

The Reach Out community are always here to listen and offer our support too, if you don't feel like you're ready to speak to someone quite yet.