What to do next?
I have been writing posts about my anxiety for the past few months and not long after my last one, things began getting really good. I was learning to cope with my axiety and deal with it so that my panic attacks weren't as severe and I could control them on my own. Then about a month ago, one of my family members attempted to take their own life.
This was so hard for me because I was so close to them and to see them so vulnerable broke my heart. This family member had been going through a lot and was even self harming as a way to cope. When my mother saw that she began to get concerned about me self harming and began to check me regularly.
Self harm for me has been on and off for about a year and insted of being lots, its more like one deep cut to look like I have been scratched by something.
My family member was out of hospital within two weeks of the attempt and although she has made an amazing and unbelieveable physical recovery, they aren't recieveing the adequete mental health care that they need and desereve.
The suicide attempt was in no way a cry for attention but a genuiene want to end their life. To this day I still wake up in the middle of the night wandering why and how they are still alive.
To see someone you love in such a vulnerable state, with no one to help is heart wrenching and I just feel that in this great country we live in, there is still such a taboo surrounding mental health amoung youths.
Now that I have this to deal with on top of my anxiety, I have started self harming again and my axiety is getting bad again.
I am sick of having this to worry about. Having friends cause grief when they have no idea what I am going through. I hate it.
I don't tell anyone whats going on because I don't feel the need to burden people with my problems. But I come to ReachOut because I feel safe here and I feel like I am being listened too.
Thank you for all your support over the past months ReachOut members. I am also here for you all <3
Re: What to do next?
I am really sorry to hear about your family member. That is really tough, both on them and also on you and your family trying to support them.
It is not surprising that you are experiencing stress and anxiety as a result. I know that you have struggled with self-harm in the past and I am sorry that you're experiencing it again. I am pretty sure you will have already read this information, but just in case this link has some really good information on distraction techniques and finding other ways to deal with stress: http://au.reachout.com/Tough-Times/Somethings-not-right/Self-harm
While a lot of the focus is going to be on your family member at this time, make sure you are getting the support you need as well. I assume you parents are going to be under a lot of strain at the moment as well, so it might be good to try to find some support outside of your nuclear family. Maybe another relative? A friend or a friend's parent? Or a school counselor?
Hang in there Youngster, and come on here and share how you are feeling any time you feel you need to.
Re: What to do next?
It's really hard when the people you care about are unwell and are dealing with mental health issues. It's understandable that it can be really stressful for you and others that care about your family member.
Are you getting support at the moment? An increase in your anxiety and increase in self harm shows that things are tough at the moment and even though you're worried about your family member getting help, you need support too. You wouldn't be burdening people with your problems, your problems are just as valid as anyone elses.
I'm really glad you feel supported and listened to here.
Re: What to do next?
This is a really hard and rough situation to have to deal with, no wonder you have been feeling more anxious and turning to self harm. Like Cassie said, it's really important that you get the support you need as well. I know it's not easy...but at the end of the day you will be better off for it. Sometimes all we need is for someone to listen.
All the best to you.
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