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Who Am I?

Hello. I have an issue where I don't know who I am because of my family. My family is very religious whereas I'm not. I'm religious, I call myself Christian but I don't go to church or attend any religious groups. The past couple of years, I've been questioning myself about who I really? When America legalised gay marriages in every State, I changed my profile picture to the rainbow thingyo to celebrate and my family blew up at me saying that gay is wrong, they made me read all the verses from the bible. I've been trying to tell them that I'm bisexual but they make me feel shit about myself. I attended a gay protest a couple of years ago with friends and my father saw my picture in colourful clothes and it was loads of fun and when I came home, he got really mad at me, basically told me if I was gay or lesbian or bisexual, he'd kick me out of the house. My family always tells me that if I have gay friends it's okay. But if I'm gay, it's not okay. How can I be me if they refuse to accept me for who I am?

Re: Who Am I?

Hey @Spectacles and welcome to Reach Out Smiley Happy


I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel you'll be supported by your family when it comes to your sexuality. Coming out to family members and friends can be quite stressful, but also very rewarding! Reach Out has a really great article on coming out that might help you with the process of telling people close to you and dealing with negative reactions that may come.


There are also some very helpful LGBTQI support services that you might like to contact so you don't feel like you're alone in coming out. 


I really hope that when you do choose to come out to your family that they accept and support you, and ultimately understand that this is who you are and that your happiness should be all that matters. Smiley Happy


Re: Who Am I?

Hi @Spectacles, it sounds like you feel as though your family isn't accepting you for who you are.  I'm really sorry to hear that, but it is so encouraging that you persist in being true to yourself, well done! That takes some awesome courage.


Sexuality can be a really sensitive and uncomfortable topic for some .  When people feel uncomfortable, sometimes they can act irrationally and in an extreme manner, and it sounds like that is what your family is doing? Have you tried having a sit down conversation with them? Perhaps writing them a letter could help?  I don't suppose they would be open to researching a little bit about what being 'gay' actually is? 


There are also some awesome info sheets about sexuality on ReachOut, you could investigate them here.


That you continue to take pride in your sexuality shows really great independence and confidence.  Perhaps your family will come around over time?  Sometimes one party needs more time and more patience than the other, so stay strong.


If you are looking for some support, have you had a look at Qlife?  They should offer some really great support in this area.


Good luck and keep us informed!




Re: Who Am I?

@Spectacles that sounds very frustrating. I also come from a religious family, but everyone is atleast respectful of eachothers beliefs. I find it hard to deal with people who are intolerant in 2015.


I dont know exact advice to give you  but can definetly see where you are coming from. 


Is there anything you can think of doing or talking about with your parents, or a way of explaining things that would help increase their tolerance?


Re: Who Am I?

Hey @Spectacles how are you going? Did you check out any of the links?
Are there any members of your family that are accepting? That you could talk to?