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Why am I never enough?

Every time I have an idea, everyone jumps on board - to shoot it down. 

I wish someone would say "yeah, that could work" or even "there are a few problems, keep trying at it". I wish someone would build on my idea, not scramble around to find reasons it won't work. 

I'm thoroughly sick of the eye-rolls I get whenever I try to tell my parents I've thought of something, or people saying my ideas are stupid before I even get a chance to explain them.

 

I hate spending days researching, developing and designing something, trying to eliminate every problem I can think of, only for my parents to say no.

Every idea I have is met with my parents challenging me to prove that it could cope with increasingly unlikely problems, then saying no anyway. 

Why can't they just say "tell me about the idea"? Why can't they help me find solutions instead of throwing more and more problems at me?

I don't understand what about me means that my ideas get dismissed before people know what they are. I don't understand why, no matter how good, how careful, or how well thought out an idea is, it's never good enough. 

Re: Why am I never enough?

Someone else had already come up with an idea practically identical to my own.

I showed mum the picture they took of it.

All of a sudden the idea that wouldn't work, that was impractical and too "out there" when I came up with it became "really impressive" when it was someone else who designed it. 

Re: Why am I never enough?

So I mean, I'll get to make it probably.

But only because it wasn't just my idea.

Re: Why am I never enough?

Hey @Tiny_leaf I'm really sad to hear that you're feeling unappreciated at the moment. Don't let people's dismissal of your ideas make you value you yourself any less. You're being brave enough to think up ideas and share them! Not everyone will always appreciate them but you will sometimes. 

 

Something I have learnt about in my studies is that to come up with the best ideas you do need to be challenged on it , in a constructive way obviously. Perhaps next time someone dismisses your idea ask them why they have that reaction. If it is a valid point, consider it and see if perhaps it is a loop hole in your idea and if it just 'i don't like it' then I guess that person just isn't on your level! 

 

Unfortunately when it comes to people taking your ideas and branding them as their own it's a little harder to deal with. Is there any way you can be more 'selective' about who you share them with? 

 

Keep brainstorming and sharing your ideas! I'm sure everyone on RO would love to hear them so feel free to post some here!! 

Re: Why am I never enough?

Hi @lennycat2017 , thank you for responding, and for the encouragement. 

 

With the other person's idea, I probably should've explained better sorry, no one actually stole my idea, a random internet stranger and I came up with it independently of each other. I think they actually came up with it before me.

That itself isn't the problem, it was actually good to see that the idea could work.

It's more just mum only thought about it as an actual option when someone who wasn't me  came up with it.

She valued the idea more as a photo taken by a random stranger than when I explained all the detail of an almost identical idea to theirs. 

 

The idea itself isn't too exciting, Smiley Tongue it's just a dog toilet for when I hopefully get a service dog.

Internet Stranger made one for their cat:

Image result for cat litter box home decorI'd just need to alter a few things and it would work for a dog instead.

Re: Why am I never enough?

@Tiny_leaf  thanks for clarifying! What you could take away from this was maybe to have a go at drawing up your ideas next time and sharing with your mum! If she's a visual person it might help her to appreciate your ideas more. 

 

xx

Re: Why am I never enough?

Hi @Tiny_leaf, going through this thread, I can relate to your experience. I've also had so many people around me tell me that what I do is never good enough. My ideas, particularly with what I want to do with my life, were dismissed quite early on. I know this isn't exactly what you're going through, but I just want you to know that you're not alone. Heart

 

It's really difficult when it's your parents who are being negative. Do you have anyone around you that is telling you that your ideas are good, and that you are good enough? I've had a look at your idea btw, and it looks quite novel, and a good project to get stuck into! Smiley Happy

 

I also think it's really cool that you're looking into getting a service dog! Have you had any thoughts about what breed of dog you might get?

 

Thinking of you. Heart

Re: Why am I never enough?

Hey @Tiny_leaf . I know I cannot take away the frustration and the feelings of disappointment your family is causing you because they're not open to your ideas - that is tough and something I too have personally experienced, both at school and home and even in my work place. 

 

But I would like to highlight that over the past few weeks you have been so supportive to me in the way that you have helped research ideas for meal plans, goals I can set, how to manage how I am feeling while being really down and anxious, as well as giving me ideas on strategies to deal with problems at home with my housemate. And they were all purposeful, thoughtful, compassionate and valid. They have helped me alot and inspired me to come up with my own ideas too. 

 

So I think it is important to recognise that even though one person or a particular group of people are not giving you credit or acceptance for your ideas right now, you do have valid opinions that deserve to be heard. I agree in part with @mrmusic and @lennycat2017 . I would like to add that sometimes persistance, various approaches and time can help people to realise that your ideas are worthwhile to consider. 

 

This may be different to you but I personally find that people are sometimes resistant to my ideas merely because I look quite young for my age and they don't see me as knowledgeable or an adult. Sometimes my ideas don't get taken seriously and i have to step back while others make decisions. But when I put myself out there and challenge why they don't like my idea this makes them think and then perhaps reconsider it. 

 

I'm here for you! 

Re: Why am I never enough?

@mspaceK @mrmusic @lennycat2017 thank you all so much

Re: Why am I never enough?

Hey @Tiny_leaf just wanted to jump in here to say that your ideas and contributions are very much valued in the forums, and I'm sorry that there are people (such as your parents) who might make you feel otherwise.

Also, I LOVE the idea of a dog toilet! Smiley Very Happy 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //