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Zen

Hi there, I am in my 30's but I am feeling a bit up & down @ the moment.


I moved to this city 4 years ago and have had difficulty sustaining friendships. Usually, I am a happy-go-lucky female that has fun, smiles a fair bit & is proud of the rewards I have achieved (house, full -time job, Husband, good family relationship). Unfortunately, since moving down here I have met jealous people that have taken advantage of me while at the same time have created some confidence issues for me.


However, since being here,  I have made some good friends that have supported me and I have done the same for them.

I work Full Time in a job that requires patience and understanding so my weekends are spent with my hubby and not a lot with them. The drive to work irritates me but I go early to relax and sometimes sit in my car. If she wants to, I meet a co worker before we start the day at 9am. I go early, with my hubby and drop him off at the train station and head to the nearest shopping centre.

 

I recently came back from an overseas trip which was very relaxing and entertaining. I seriously did not want to come home. The whole time I was away with my hubby, we spent good time with my Dad's side of the family whom we met for the first side.

I felt so happy in another country and forgot my troubles at home which seem to be

-the stress in my full - time job

-the reflection of people in my past life

-the pressures of trying to have a healthy balance with work and life.

 

I feel as though I don't appreciate my husband much and the efforts and hard work he does.

 

I am seeing a Psychologist for assistance.

 

Hope you all have a good day x

Jazz xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re: Zen

Hey Jazz!

 

It must be really hard going through such a tough time, especially in a new city where you don't know that many people. With this in mind, it is absolutely fantastic that you are seeing a psychologist to help you get through what you are going through, because you are truly deserving of the great support a professional can offer!

 

ReachOut.com is mostly aimed towards people between the ages of 14 and 25, but it also has some great stuff about isolation and relationships that apply to all ages, so I hope the website helps! 

 

Human relationships are always so tricky to understand, and because of this they can often leave people feeling let down with others or even let down by themselves. You said you have met some people whose actions have left you with confidence and I'm guessing trust issues. You might like to take a look at this factsheet about building up your self-confidence, because this might help you establish some really rewarding relationships. 

 

It seems that another issue you are facing is having the time to work, catch up with friends, as well as spend time with your husband. I have experienced a similar situation in that when I started university and moved into college I had to try and find time to see my old friends from school, try and make new friends in my new living environment, all the while trying to complete my studies and go to work. That being said, I worked out a great, simple way to keep in touch with my old friends by just giving them a call every so often! This worked so well for me because I could study and then in my study break call a friend for a quick catch up in my study break. Killing two birds with one stone! I suggest maybe you could do the same, like when you get home on the weekend and you don't feel like leaving your husband, perhaps you could have a phone chat with a friend for half an hour or something, so that you can still maintain that friendship while not even having to leave your husband at home alone! 

I'd also just like to say that it sounds to me that you are a fantastic wife who always has your husband in mind in everything you do. He is lucky to have you! If you still feel as if you might not be showing him enough appreciation, I think the best option would be to talk to him about it, ask him if he feels like you show your apprecation to him. You will probably find out that he does! And if not, that could be a perfect time to ask him what ways he would like you to show your affection. Communication really is the key! 

Thanks for posting, hope everything goes well! 

 

Gabi