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am i being attention seeking? being sad, emotions + more

i posted this on beyond blue but someone on there suggested that i post on here and i might get a more helpful response. 

 

his is my first post hi,
im 14 and i think im really messed up in the head. I always feel that im either being too annoying for people, being sad or angry continuously. Like those are the only three moods i go through. Im going to start with being too annoying. My mum has told me that im being annoying, my friends have told me my voice is annoying. Well I've been told that i have to be positive because im too negative. me being positive and me thinking that im being happy comes across as very annoying to everyone around me. I think ive been spending my whole life making other people happy that i get no happiness for myself. Now i feel that whenever im happy it just annoys other people and then that makes me feel like crap. Thats the first reason why people think im attention seeking, because to a lot of people being attention seeking is annoying. Im not saying i have ADHD or any attention disorder but i was never checked for any learning disorder or anything when i was little because i have a feeling that my parents were a bit afraid that they werent going to have the perfect kid. i can barely concentrate in class and draw on my self when a teacher is talking becuase i always need to have something to do. if i start fidgeting it annoys people and its really hard for me to make eye contact with someone or sit still. i dont know what that is? or is it just me as a person that i like moving a lot i dont know. This might just be mood swings i dont know again, but i could be feeling just neutral for about 3 seconds and then i might talk to someone and the way they look at me might look disgusted or a bit angry then my brain will instantly go sad and ill just want to be sad or and have the thought that i should just run out of the room.the smallest things like that could make me feel so sad and if I think about too many things that make me sad in the same amount of time i feel that i want to end my life, just forget about everything and start my life again. it makes me think to myself. what the hell have you (myself) done to lead up to this moment. how much of an idiot are you (myself).then ill get angry at myself and maybe start harming myself. if i was at home i would throw something. but nothing hard or heavy becuase someone would hear and i would get in trouble. but oh to bad im just expressing my anger. im seeing a kinseologist rn but nothing has really helped. I hope by putting this up on here it will help me.
thanks

 

 

 

Re: am i being attention seeking? being sad, emotions + more

hi @alibrandayy17 

beyond is still a good forum and you deserve alot of support, so please do keep posting on both sites. 

welcome to RO though Smiley Happy

 

ill come back to here soon, ive just got to do something atm

 

 

@redhead@Brendos94@N1ghtW1ng@May_@roseisnotaplant @j95 can you guys help?

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: am i being attention seeking? being sad, emotions + more

@alibrandayy17

First of all i hope your ok. Also with the losing concentration in class are eating regular meals thought the day. Like having breakfast before going to school

Re: am i being attention seeking? being sad, emotions + more

Hey @alibrandayy17, welcome to ReachOut! It takes a lot of courage to share what you're going through- and you've done it twice!! I'm really worried that you are sometimes hurting yourself and thinking that you would like to end your life. Have you talked to anyone else about this?

 

Re: am i being attention seeking? being sad, emotions + more

Hey, what people say about you being "annoying" is they're opinion. I think you need to maybe explore your options in friends because there will be somone/ some people out there that like you for you, when you happy and positive. I went through sort of the same thing you are going through, and I realised that i had to find some real friends before things got worse. Its very brave of you to share what you are going through on here, so if you need to talk about it I'm always here Smiley Happy

Re: am i being attention seeking? being sad, emotions + more

ive actually talked to my psychologist about me hurting myself and how to calm down and control my breathing and seems to be helping so far but idk how much longer it will help. thanks for reaching out to me though Smiley Happy

Re: am i being attention seeking? being sad, emotions + more

yeah i think ill look at making some new friends and hopefully something good will come out of it. 

thanks so much for your help 

Smiley Happy

Re: am i being attention seeking? being sad, emotions + more

im not very hungry a lot of the time and i usally dont want to eat. but i do eat bc my parents keep an eye on me. and if they see me not eating they will just get upset. i guess that gets me to eat though. 

Re: am i being attention seeking? being sad, emotions + more

@alibrandayy17 I'm really relieved to hear that you are feeling supported and that you are talking to your psychologist about this stuff Smiley Happy 

I also agree that you deserve to have more positive people in your life who appreciate you as the strong and caring person that you are Heart Do you have any ideas about how you might go about making some new friends? 

not doing amything

i havent been on for a long time. nothing is helping how i feel. i just need to get away from the people that dont want to be around me. but how do i get away from my family and people who i think r my friends? thats the question,