Hey @lillypond

I can totally relate to you describing the feeling of being an outsider looking in, and I'm sure nearly every other autistic person would too - it's a really upsetting feeling to deal with ❤️ I'm not sure that ever goes away completely in certain situations, but I know that finding friends that were autistic too has meant I have more times feeling connected, understood and on the inside 😊 This article I think describes just how you're feeling, you might like to have a read. Would you be open to trying to find some neurodivergent friends? If it feels too daunting in person, making friends online can be a less intimidating option too. You might like to check out I CAN Network, they have online group sessions for autistic people to meet with peers 😊

When it comes to feeling disconnected with family, have you let them know how you feel? It can be really difficult for neurotypical people to comprehend how our brains work, but being able to educate them and share how you see things might let them make some more effort to make you feel included. And if you can't find the words yourself, maybe you could share some content from autistic social media creators instead. What do you think?

The depression that comes with being autistic and feeling alone is really tough, but talking to a therapist is actually one thing that's really helped me. I recommend finding a therapist who is either neurodivergent themselves, or specialises in autism, as that's played a big part in how my sessions are molded to what works for my brain. You can look for a psychologist here, and search by 'area of practice' to find one that has experience with autism 😊

Starting to be more independent can feel like a big step, but you can turn it into little ones. Is there anything you'd like to do independently that might be a little less daunting than medical appointments? You could try doing smaller things on your own and slowly build up to bigger things like doctors appointments.

I'm sorry to hear you're having low mood swings at the moment, it's definitely understandable with everything you are processing at the moment. And you're doing really well even if it may not feel like it! So I hope you feel proud for being so proactive and reaching out for some support with all of this 👏 I'm wondering if you enjoy stimming at all, or if you have a favourite stim perhaps? Letting yourself stim can be really grounding when you're feeling overwhelmed 🧡

being autistic and accepting it but still running from it at the same time

Related spaces