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dealing with bullying

i'm being badly bullied at school and i just wanna know if someone can give some ways to get through it. im sick of being depressed. Smiley Sad
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Re: dealing with bullying

Hi elmo 

It is terrible that you are being bullied but I think you are so brave for coming on the forums to find ways to get through this so be proud of yourself for that. Have you spoken to your family, friends, teachers, anyone about what you are going through? 

Talking about it might help you through what your experiences. Its also sad to hear that you feel depressed and bullying is a serious issue and can affect your wellbing a lot. 

 

There are a few factsheets I think might help you 

http://au.reachout.com/Bullying

http://au.reachout.com/Building-better-coping-skills

 

There is also a story about being bullied which I think might help you to see that you are not alone and you can get through this http://au.reachout.com/Besting-bullies and also have a look at some of the factsheets and stories on here http://au.reachout.com/Tough-Times/Somethings-not-right/Angry-sad-or-depressed

 

You deserve to be happy and you deserve to feel safe and there are many ways to build your self-confidence http://au.reachout.com/How-to-build-self-confidence

 

If you feel need further help or someone you can talk to have a look at this link for options http://au.reachout.com/Emergency-Help

 

Please take care of yourself and remember that we are hear to support you Smiley Happy 

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: dealing with bullying

Hey elmo
I was bullied at school, for years too. Until I ran home crying, my step dad deal with it. So if ur dad (or step dad) is protective, just tell him about it and he'll deal with it.
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Re: dealing with bullying

Smiley Sad  That's rough...Hope Ruenhonx listed somethin to help you out.

Try to see if there is someone at school or immediately close to home you can chat to about it.  Maybe even the school counsellor.  They may be able to suggest some coping strategies if it happens again.

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Re: dealing with bullying

Hey Elmo,

 

Being bullied at school sucks, it really does. And it makes you feel so isolated and alone. But the reality is that most people get bullied at school at some point, and if they don't, it probably just means they are better at making themself invisible. You are not alone - so try not to be too hard on yourself.

 

I think the best thing you can do is talk to your parents or an adult about it. See if they can help you confront the bullies in some way. Most bullies seem to suddenly become wimps when someone bigger and older steps in. It's a shame that it needs to come to that - but it does work, and it sounds like you could do with a break.

 

Hang in there Elmo and let us know how you are tracking. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Re: dealing with bullying

Well developed people do not NEED to bully, and would be too empathetic of others to do so anyway.
When a person 'bullies', they are displaying their deep weakness, a bully is a person who feels that they are 'less' than adequate!
They behave in a way that they have learned will make the person they bully, feel that weakness.

By seeing that weakness in the 'bullied' person, they then feel 'strong' for one pathetic moment.

Once they've seen that they've transferred that weakness, they will continue the behaviour, thus developing a lifelong trait. As a bully never really gets rid of what's truly bothering them, they endlessy repeat the process.

 

The need to see it reflected back at them is due to the fact that they cannot get rid of the 'ugly' (for want of a better term) feelings of inadequacy/jealousy/weakness within themselves, so for just one bullying moment they kid themselves that they have been able to get rid of their ugliness, and feel a glimmer of (perverse) strength, whereas they usually feel pathetic.

Bullying is one of the many defense mechanisms that a human may develop, and sadly many develop this one, and carry it throughout their life.

The very best way to defeat a bully is to develop yourself.

 

Realise that threatening behaviour and words cannot really hurt you, find how to be secure in yourself during a bullying 'event'.

Bullies often use the subconscious or direct threat to humiliate you amongst your peers, but remember that all those peers know that the person is a bully, and the threat the bully is purporting, usually has no weight with them.

Bullies are 99.9% BLUFF!

When a bully tries repeatedly to 'bully' you, show them 'emptiness', because if you do not 'reflect' back the 'pain' they're looking for, they will feel like they've hit a closed door, or are trying to break a brick wall with a feather, and as they cannot transfer their pain to you, they will stop their efforts.

 

They will change their way, but you must change yourself first.
Take the power into yourself, you have it, you only need to tap into it.

It's not easy, it won't happen overnight, but once you've 'defeated yourself' (when you are unmoved/not bothered by bullying threats), you have already defeated every bully, as none of them will be able to 'get to you', and that skill will be with you for the rest of your life, and the many situations you will face.

Intervention from elders, seniors, HR departments, political correctness and all the rest seem to have very little affect on this.

 

Too often society in fact supports the bully, for fear of opening a can of worms it's easier to pacify the bully, than confront and correct the situation.
Particularly due to the modern workplace laws, where an employer can be sued for permitting bullying behaviour.
Certain companies will not allow the issue to arise as it would 'make it official' that there's a bully there, which would make it easy for prosecution to take place, and if the bully has made themselves useful to the employer and ingratiated themselves as they usually do, the bullied becomes twice the victim, while the bully is protected.

Better to be ten times the victim, than to be a bully, or an unjust employer!

 

Train yourself to be oblivious to insult, and you will be fully protected.

I too have learned this the hard way.