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feel like I'm going crazy

Hi this is my first time here im kinda embarrassed too. I thought I could handle these problems on my own now it's all getting out of hand.

Im a 22 year old girl. I've had a difficult childhood. Spend most of my childhood in child safety. I don't have any contact with any of my family at all. I have only friends that are drug addicts.

Anyway my main problems have been self harm and life threatening overdosing. On the last 6 months I've got heavily into amphetamines. I've been hearing and seeing things that aren't really there. It's making me feel as I'm crazy.

Since reducing the amount of drugs I've been having very intense thoughts of hurting other people. I don't want to have these thoughts at all. Im usually a very caring type of person. Caring about everyone else before myself. Im also still having alot of suicidal thoughts as well and have been self-harming. Things are getting alot worse each and everyday. I hate feeling like like this. I've also been crying myself to sleep every night as well.

I have no family, no real friends, I have community mental health support but they aren't helping me at all. Please someone anyone talk to me or help anything.

Thank you for taking your time reading and listening

Joanne

Re: feel like I'm going crazy

Hey Joanne, welcome to ReachOut, it's great that you've come on here for help and there's no need to be embarrassed. 

 

Have you talked to a professional such as a doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist about these problems? I think you could really benefit from getting some professional help. You can also call Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800) or Lifeline (13 11 14) if that's easier for you. 

 

I think it's great that you can identify that you're usually a very caring person. That means these thoughts you're having are really just thoughts, and though I'm sure they're unpleasant, they can stay just thoughts. It doesn't mean you're crazy, but like I said before, I think you'd really benefit from having someone help you through this. 

 

Take care. 

Re: feel like I'm going crazy

I have a psychiatrist and psychologist but they aren't listening or even paying attention to what I'm saying. I've flat out asked for help but they just say you will be ok at home just have a sleep. But I can't sleep forever, can I?

These thoughts aren't just thoughts. I've started to plan things but I want to stop I really do. I'm scared all the time

Joanne

Re: feel like I'm going crazy

Have you thought about going to a different psychologist and/or psychiatrist? Most people have to try a few before they find someone they can "click" with. If you feel they're not listening to you, perhaps you should go to someone else. 

 

If you seriously feel like you're going to hurt someone else or yourself, please call 000 or any other of these emergency contacts: http://au.reachout.com/Emergency-Help

You say you have plans, could you try to delay these plans? Do something else to distract yourself maybe, call KHL and talk to someone. 

Re: feel like I'm going crazy

Hi Joanne

 

Thanks for taking the time to share your story and experience here. I had to edit your post slightly as some of the descriptions of self-harm could be triggering to others.

 

Graphiqual's advice is spot-on. If you're unhappy with the people currently helping you, such as your psychologist/psychiatrist, see if you can change them. Different styles of practice work differently for different people.

 

You may be having suicidal thoughts but they're only thoughts; you don't have to act on them. Although you're feeling this way, some part of you told you to come here to this forum and share your story with us. That part of you is the part that wants to get through this; it's the part of you that wants to live. It's the part that doesn't want to end your life but does want to escape the pain you're feeling.

 

Take a look at graphiqual's advice again and give someone a call. It's obvious you're a strong person to have made it this far and picking up the phone and/or seeking a way to change your psychologist/psychiatrist is only one step further.

 

If you are at serious risk of harm, please call 000 immediately. 

 

We believe in you. Let us know how you go.