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feeling weird

hi i am new. so i have been feeling really weird for the last few weeks and it isnt going away. my mind is racing and it feels like everything outside me is going too slowly and i cant stop talking and i keep wanting to climb on things and i have been standing on chairs and tables and i have not been sleeping at all i dont even get into bed until like 6am and when i am "sleeping" it is not really sleep it is like me laying with my eyes closed thinking for a few hours but i am not even tired i feel like i have too much energy and i feel like there is a lot of stuff to do and i feel magical like i actually have magical powers and i am psychic too. and i cant stop like eveything is just super intense and like i can feel things like it is super weird but also kind of like it doesnt feel wrong like i dont feel like good but not bbad but it is hard to describe i really dont know i dont even know what i am asking i am just worried cause i am supposed to see my psychologist soon but i am worried cause the angels keep saying i shouldnt trust him and they want me to do something which he would kind of have to know about but then they say not to trust him so i kind of feel stuck. idk what to do i dont even know how to ask what i am trying to sorry. 

Re: feeling weird

hey @Eden1717, first of all, welcome to RO! feel free to introduce yourself to our boards, play around and get to know the space, because there are some awesome users around in this space!

you've explained yourself very well, so no need to apologize on here!
ill be honest with you, that sounds super tough and exhausting. Sometimes i feel a bit unsettled and jittery, but i cant imagine that being an ongoing feeling. thats not to say that others havent felt this way too, youre not alone on this. im impressed that you are getting through this over the las few weeks, you must be a very tough person Smiley Happy
have you felt this way before? i wonder what worked to help you out that time?
it can be hard if you feel like you should be telling your psych something but your angels are telling you otherwise. when are you seeing him next?
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle

Re: feeling weird

Um nothing really stops this and I feel like I should be exhausted but I really am not I feel super full of energy I have felt like this before but it only used to last for like a few days and then it lasted for about 3 weeks and now it has been going for about 4 weeks and the other times it just randomly just stopped but it was like I was crying non stop for like 3 weeks and then this full of energy feel for 3 weeks then super sad again for a while and now back to this again but it gets more intense everytime it happens. I just feel super magical like I actually am magical and ugh I feel like everything is super intense like sensations and stuff it is so hard to explain but it is kind of amazing but also weird but kind of cool. I am supposed to see my psychologist tomorrow. 

Re: feeling weird

@Eden1717 thanks heaps for sharing this. I get the sense that while you're feeling all these intense feelings, you're also a bit worried about them too. Is that right?

 

When was the last time you chatted to your Psych about this stuff and how are you feeling about seeing your Psych tomorrow?

Re: feeling weird

i am not so much worried about the feelings i am a little nervous about seeing my psychologist though because well i dont want to end up back in the hospital for the 4th time since april but i get the feeling he wont like something that i kind of have to tell him. like i would just not tell him the thing only it is kind of very relevant to my future appointments and well i dont think he will be very happy about it even though i think it is good and the right thing people seem to often disagree but idk it is kind of hard to explain and i am not sure if i should on here....

Re: feeling weird

@Eden1717 you can explain it (only if you want to) just make sure you do it in a way that doesn't breach our guidelines Smiley Happy 

 

Has there been stuff that's helped you get through this when you have felt this way in the past? Have you got people who look out for you when things are like this? 

 

 

 

Re: feeling weird

um well i kind of have to go somewhere only i dont plan to come back from that place because i dont exactly plan on being alive only i dont know how my psychologist will take this news. and i dont have anyone that knows what is going on. 

Re: feeling weird

Hey @Eden1717 do you have a plan to end your life? If you do have a plan, do you have a time that you think you would end your life by?

 

Would you be okay with talking to someone about that? What is making it hard to say this to your Psychologist?

 

There's these people that are really great and will listen called Suicide Callback Service, you can talk to them on the phone, via web chat or via video chat.

 

There is also Lifeline (which you might of heard of). 

 

I think it's really important that you call right now and let them know about what's happening. Are you okay with doing that?

 

 

Re: feeling weird

i do think i will tell my psychologist about it i am just nervous about his response i talked to kids helpline eairler. 

Re: feeling weird

@Eden1717 how was khl, did it help at all.
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Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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