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Re: having a hard night

I sure am @scared01 Smiley Happy 

 

Is everything ok?

Re: having a hard night

no it really isnt @Erin-RO 

 

@mrmusic@Erin-ROi had a therapy session today. i never break down in front of people and i become hysterical and crying and struggling to breathe at all. i had a trauma therapy and basically told my story in as much detail as possible as a baseline including sights, sounds and smells. everything. it mustve been that bad becasue even my pscyh got teary and didnt have the words to help me until i calmed down and she told me to make sure i have a plan for each day with at least one activity and to keep safe 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: having a hard night

the trauma session i had today was so so hard and embarrassing and i didnt want to talk about it but she said the only way to move forward is to dig out the wound essentially and start working through it. 

the trauama im focussing on right now in therapy- the aniversary is tomorrow until tuesday. so its going to be so friggin hard 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: having a hard night

That must have been really difficult @scared01 and I think you should feel proud of yourself for getting through it... it's  totally understandable that you'd be feeling all sorts of emotions after that Heart 

 

Just remember it served a purpose, it's to work through things and it will get better.

 

Re: having a hard night

it was and still is very very difficult @Erin-RO i still ahve to get through this weekend which is full of triggers. becasue i have BPD my emotions dont really come in waves they come in extremes. so today was like an explosion. my biggest trigger was hit and it was all over. 

she said no wonder your scared. she doesnt know my entire story only the parts that i could say at the time. she really pushed me today. it took me over an hr to be able to drive. i sat in my car shaking like a leaf and not being able to breathe. 

i couldnt be at home. i didnt feel safe mentally or phsyically and becasue my sister was a big part of this too i needed to see for myself they were ok so spent a few hrs shoppng and having dinner with them. but im back home now and alone again with my thoughts so trying to keep distracted 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: having a hard night

@Nightruner23on this thread

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: having a hard night

@scared01  It sounds like an extremely difficult session, but I am really really proud of you for opening up to her. If you don't mind me asking, what did the psychologist do to 'debrief' after you finished telling the story? (Mindfulness activity, relaxation exercise, etc?)

 

If I might also give a small suggestion - is there anyone you can be with over the next few days? I'm just thinking that could be an extra level of safety around you during this difficult time. I do agree with her suggestion of making sure you are keeping yourself occupied during the day time. Do you have some sort of safety plan you can follow over the next few days? Sorry for bombarding you with questions.

 

Stay strong my friend - and please remember that you always have us to open up to if you need. Heart

Re: having a hard night

@scared01 we are here for you we want to help you as much as we can ❤


Re: having a hard night

I think @mrmusic has made a great point about is there anybody you can be with over the next few days to help? Or do you have the weekend planned out?

 

But in all seriousness I give you major major props - this was a massive therapeutic step for you and I'm glad you came on here for a debrief, we're all hear to support you Heart 

Re: having a hard night

thank you @mrmusic@Nightruner23

 

no debrief, she thinks i know how to cope so wants to focus more on this rather than coping. she asked me about my supports and i said i have the helplines and my safety plan to use. if i become suicidal then go to hospital. thats my debrief basically. 

this is only just the beginning Smiley Sad i will have tp keep talking about it to keep moving forward. every session more and more will be talked about so its going to be some very hard sessions coming up

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**