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Re: having a hard night

hi @letitgo 

another crappy night but thats normal now. i had the drs today. think it couldve went better. i feel really unheard and brushed aside. had my breaks checked and gp said she wants another 3 weeks in the cast. its taking a long time to heal but she said i cant include the 3 weeks without treatment so its only been 3 weeks now. all up though its been 6 weeks. long long road ahead as the joints are stiff now so will take a while with physio after the cast is off. 

i had blood tests done and ended up having to lay down beacuse i was really light headed and they said i went white like a ghost. they had to use the bigger needles as they said my veins are deep and the smaller ones wouldnt reach properly and it took 3 goes for them to be able to get enough out (5 tubes) for all the tests i needed done. so after the first one was done well they said go lay down lol. 

so at least thats all done. have hand specilist on thursday and an appt next week with my nurse then gp appt the week after for results. 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: having a hard night

@scared01 I'm sorry to hear you feelunheard and brushed asside! Smiley Sad thats not a nice feeling at all

Sorry hear you're still in the cast with your finger. Unfortunately thats the legal side of things. Like when they found out my left ankle was broken I had to wear a boot for 6 weeks despite the injury being 4 weeks old when they realised. Wishing your fingers a speedy recovery x

It sounds painful having to have 3 attempts to get blood! And then feeling unwell!
Did you recover okay from the bloods being taken?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: having a hard night

thanks @Bee it is really frustrating with my finger. if tey hadnt caught it early th cast would be pretty much ready to come off now. 

yeh and they were the big ones too not the smaller ones. they said ive got deep veins but was also dehydrated and veins were collapsed too making it alot harden then it needs to be. 

yeh took about 10 minutes all up of laying down and sitting and breathing but was ok after that still really nauseated though. ive got abit of brusing and my arms are still sore but am ok

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: having a hard night

@scared01 I hear you, it's frustrating, but keeping it on will give it the best chance to heal correctly Smiley Happy

Oh no! That does make it hard. I try not to do bloods when I'm dehydrated, otherwise, I don't cope well with them
I'm glad your okay after it all

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: having a hard night

thanks @Bee for your support 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: having a hard night

hi everyone . ive been dealing with some really big emotions today. lots of those hopeless, unworthy, where do i fit in sort of emotions. feeling abit lost tbh. ive had quite a few opinions on things lately but i still dont know what to do or what the next step might be 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: having a hard night

Hey there @scared01, sounds heavy how you're feeling. Did you want to share the opinions? Are they options that may help? Heart

Re: having a hard night

im so confused @Bree-RO

some people say have more faith in my gp, others say i really think you should change. same as my psychologist. i agree with both sides. my gp i feel doesnt listen and doesnt know what to do with me but i dont want to change and have to start all over again after a yr of seeing her. its alot of ground to cover. the psych some say i either need to change to one that does listen, pull out for now as all she does is focus on the trauma or try to find one that i dont have to focus on truama oall the time with and help me get stable first rather than having the belief of bulldozing through my trauma in 10 sessions and then being tossed to the curb to my own defences. 

atm im that stressed about it, ive cancelled twice because shes bulldozing through it and also because i cant do the homework shes given me. shes really tough on that sort of thing 'well if you dont do it then i cant help you' sort of attitude. 

 

ive got no one offline Bree, no friends, an unsupportive family that i dont really fit into because the connection i had there i no longer have which was the horses- kinda the glue that kept us together sort of thing.  i dont know where i fit in anymore. im getting bored and gets rather upsetting when i done have anyone to hang around with and i do everything on my own or with my sisters attached and not out with friends at the movies or coffee or doing what people my age are normally doing. 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: having a hard night

@scared01 Definitely understandable if you feel you're not connecting to anyone. It is something we definitely all go through at some point. You're very resilient to be managing this situation, it certainly doesn't mean it will be like this forever. So your sister also is not someone you feel you can talk to is that right?

 

With the practitioner and GP stuff, it's a hard one cause it totally has to be your decision. You intuitively will work out the right path. We all believe in you Heart

Re: having a hard night

thanks @Bree-RO 

 

no my sister isnt someone i can talk to at all. shes alot younger than me anyway and already hates me so why give them another reason hey. i just dont know anymore. maybe alot of this is my fault anyway, if i hadve resisted the pressures when younger then maybe i would be abit more normal or have at least parts of my life nice rather than sitting at home, or being dragged around by family or having those high expecations that i struggle to live up to.

 

i feel like lifes just going past me but im in a clear box- i can see everything thats happening but im trapped inside 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**