hi i feel like im going crazy

[bojack]

i dunno what you are or arent allowed to post on these things but i just desperately need to talk to someone and feel so incredibly alone and alien so im hoping i can find s0meone here that can understand or help out i dunno everything feels gross and ive been looking so hard for some kind of solution and working so hard to get better and nothing works. I just had a breakdown about my body, feeling absolutely repulsed. i dont have an eating disorder, i think im just a perfectionist. nothing gives me joy anymore, ive been holding onto the hope that ill find someone and make a family, leech off of those kinds of endorphans to make me happy. i dont feel suicidal, part because i dont want to break my family and part because i cant be bothered to think about it. everythign feels so lifeless you know? starting to feel like im going a little crazy.  maybe im just going through an emo phase i dunno. just kinda wanna feel some kind of spark, or passion or life again. ive even turned to christianity man, but the whole thing just makes me feel really uncomfortable. i have no energy to pursue or maintain relationships so ive kinda drifted apart from everyone and end up alone. i love my psych but i feel a little bit pathetic because i feel pretty trivial

tl;dr i know but basically i feel at my wits end and dont really care too much about anything. also kinda panicing right now havin a bit of a sh*t night

thx xx <3

[Erin-RO]

Welcome to RO @bojack and thank you for sharing what you've been going through. I don't think what you're feeling is trivial and I'm sure quite a few RO members have felt at their wits end, so you're certainly not alone in that. Also thank you for sending through that your post didn't post correctly. I've fixed this up for you and I've edited some of the more graphic details from the post. For more info on this, feel free to check out our community guidelines here.

With regards to the body image difficulties, a fantastic and more specific resource and helpline (8am to 12pm) is available via the Butterfly Foundation 

[bojack]

thanks man, i think its just been a bad night.

[bojack]

can i ask though, does it get better? i realised that theres gonna be more bad than good and ill have to deal but how do you deal? if life is just on and off sufferin g how do you find productive hobbies to distract yourself. i mean you cant die so what do you do? i feel like im just waiting for thinngs to get better all the time because nothing else works. its hard, lifes hard, sorry for being so morbid

[Erin-RO]

That's a hard question to answer @bojack because everyone's journey is so different but it sounds like by coming on here that you're motivated to try and find something that works for you?

When you say nothing works, has there been anything that you felt was even a little bit helpful?

I'm about to log off for the night but I'll tag a few of our members for you as they might be able to offer some more support and advice and we'll check in with you tomorrow!

@jess1600 @DruidChild @cj123 @Bee @ErinsAntics @lokifish @letitgo

[bojack]

ive never tried a forum before, im kinda hoping it will make me feel a bit less lonely. i like going out with my mum and grandpa, and ive kinda liked cooking, and my favourite band just released an album, AND animal crossing is great. I guess ill occupy myself with those for the time being.

thanks for listening to me

[DruidChild]

Hey @bojack thanks for reaching out, that was really brave of you. The forum definitely helps me feel less lonely, so I hope it does the same for you 

I can really relate to those feelings of lifelessness and the absence of happiness and joy. It's really exhausting and horrible, isn't it? You mentioned that you see a psych, what sort of things do you do with them? Do they have any suggestions for how to cope when you feel this way? 

What are your plans for today @bojack? Are you able to make time for doing one of those (amazing!) things that you like doing? Maybe you could give your grandpa a call and see if you could hang out with him  

Music really helps me too! What is your fave band? 

Here for you 

[bojack]

Its certainly not fun. I mostly just chat with my psych sometimes we do this eye movement therapy thing. I think today im just gonna look after myself a bit, relax, clean stuff hang out with my cats. 

I loooooove years and years and they released a new album after like four years and im so excited!!

[DruidChild]

Hey @bojack do you feel like the eye movement therapy and chatting is useful to you? 

That sounds like an awesome plan! Pets can be great at making us feel better and a bit happier in my experience. 

Oh awesome! I think I've heard of years and years but haven't listened to their music, I'll have to check it out! Is there a particular reason the band means a lot to you?

We're here if you want to talk throughout the afternoon/evening. 

[bojack]

it has helped to dig up some past trauma and the reasons behind some unhealthy patterns but i feel like ive hit a bit of a plateau :/

i really just enjoy their music, it sounds so happy to me. you know when you listen to music you havent listened to in a while  and it makes you feel like youre back in the same place you were when you first listened to it, well maybe its just me, but it makes me think of being in a happier place.

thank you guys for answering. i feel much better now and i was able to get some stuff done, its  nice to know theres a place i can go if im feeling real crap.