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house problems

 lately im struggling i have a beautiful 4 year old daughter and a partner he is very helpful and caring, recently we moved out of home about 3 months ago, we made a mistake by letting my friends and their newborn move in (they were homeless at the time) so we let them in, i feel so bad for feeling this way, but they never help clean if i go out for the day and come home the house is a mess from their stuff, everynight my partner and i cook tea they dont help at all, one night we had to go out for a birthday party and they cracked it because we didnt cook tea for them, they are both 20 years old with a 3 months, im pretty sure they can cook their own tea! 
all this extra stress is making my depression 10 times worse, they are not thankful for anything and they are always trying to dump their baby down on me while they go out (they both dont work) nor study or anything, my partner works 12 hours shifts and i study full time we leave the house clean and come home to a huge mess. i feel upset all the time, i just want to rest for a bit but cant cause im always cleaning, cooking, playing with my daughter, studying etc.

Re: house problems

Hey @coco123 and welcome to ReachOut Smiley Happy
That does sound really tough. It was a wonderful thing for you to let your friends into your home. Have you spoken to your friends about their behaviour and how it makes you feel?
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Re: house problems

Gosh! That sounds so frustrating but you must be lovely to have opened your home to them like this. Well done. 

 

As @N1ghtW1ng said, have you considered broaching the topic with them?

Re: house problems

Welcome @coco123! So lovely of you to help others when they are in need Smiley Happy I understand what you are saying when you at the minimum, expect a hand around the house. Have you tried talking to them? Perhaps you could set up a household job schedule, so the stress is not just on you and your partner? It sounds like you guys are pretty flat out at the moment. See how you go if you talk to them, and let us know how it goes! Smiley Happy 

Re: house problems

Hi @coco123It sounds like you and your partner have been incredibly patient and caring towards your friends, but that they are starting to take you for granted and are not respecting you or your home Smiley Sad 

 

Talking to them about it may seem like a really tough conversation to have, particularly as they are your friends, but in my experience, if you don’t’ talk about it, the problem won’t go away, or may even get worse… 

 

Yes @nc_reachout13, I totally agree about the cleaning roster! This helped a lot in my share house when some people weren't pulling their weight... Perhaps you could also have a cooking roster too! If you shared the cooking, and they cooked for your family a few nights a week, this might give you a bit of free time where you could rest and focus on caring for yourself Smiley Happy 

 

You also mentioned you’ve been feeling depressed, have you talked to anyone about this? 

Re: house problems

Hi @coco123 what a stressful situation! I haven't had a baby but I hear they're a lot of work and managing your own newborn with an extra couple of housemates who don't do their fair share at all sounds super overwhelming. 

 

I think the people who have already commented have asked some really good questions, so I'd love to hear back from you on those questions. But I also want you to know that you're not alone in this. It sounds like you have an amazingly supportive partner and we here at RO care about you too.

 

Take care.

Re: house problems

Hey @coco123,

Just checking in to see how you are doing?

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